Once More, With Feeling
by Eternity's Angel of Mercy
Summary: (Part 2 of The Bucket List series) Garrus had everything he'd held close torn away when the Normandy was destroyed... or so he thought. But can you just pick up where you left off after two years? A lot has changed - Garrus included. .ME1/2 spoilers.
1. All the Rowboats

Chapter 1

All the Rowboats

* * *

No one had told him about the Normandy until hours after it happened. His direct supervisor, Niles, had purposely done everything to keep headlines and news of the attack away from him; Niles had distracted him with month end paperwork while shutting off the Galactic News Network feed to their office.

The oncoming evening was coloring the Citadel's artificial skyline a brilliant pink and purple. Chellick had pinged ahead to Niles, letting him know that he was on his way to speak with Garrus. Chellick made his way into the rather chaotic office at the same time Niles was leaving it. "Night, boss," Niles said, looking at the older turian with something like pity.

Chellick nodded goodnight to the human before stepping into Garrus' office. The entire time he had been walking down here, he has been thinking of how he might tell the younger turian that his former Commander was dead.

Garrus was poring over a data pad, a look of concern on his face. The expression was so unexpected that Chellick was immediately wary. Had Garrus found out somehow? When Garrus looked up, however, the expression faded. "Sir, what brings you down here?" he asked with any easy smile. "It's after hours, you know. You should be home."

"I have… some news, Garrus."

Garrus nodded. "All right. You've come to tell me that I have been promoted and will be your right hand operative from now on. I'm going to get better housing and a better office –with a view, preferably. Am I right?"

Chellick forced a smile. That seemed to make Garrus suspicious instead of calming him. "What's happened?" Garrus asked quickly, his voice colored with worry. "Did someone kill the witness? Damnit, I knew we should have put extra guard on him-"

"No, it's nothing like that. Sit," Chellick requested, taking a seat for himself in front of Garrus' desk. "Have you heard from any of your previous crew aboard the Normandy?"

Garrus looked uncomfortable as he lowered himself behind his desk. "Sir, no data has been exchanged from this office, if that's what you're getting at."

Chellick shook his head, sighing. "No, Garrus, I am asking as a… a friend."

Garrus hesitantly replied, "I get a vid log for the pilot every once in a while with updates on how the crew is doing, where they are... The only person I keep in regular contact with is Shepard. All of that is done through my personal omni-tool, though, not through our database here."

Chellick closed his eyes, deciding the only way to get this over with was to say it. Blunt honesty would have to do. "There's been an accident. The SR-I Normandy was torn apart by an unknown vessel. The reports have been coming in from the survivors all day. It would appear…" Chellick glanced up, meeting Garrus' horrorstricken eyes. Garrus knew what was coming.

"It would appear Commander Shepard died saving the crew."

"No," Garrus said simply. "It can't be. She wouldn't… she's tough. She might have survived-" he broke off, attempting to collect himself. "What are the details?"

"According to reports taken from Flight Lieutenant Jeff Moreau, she was aboard when he and the last living crew were forced into an escape pod. An explosion sucked her into the vacuum."

Garrus nodded faintly but was otherwise immoveable. He displayed no emotion as he stared down at the data pad he'd been immersed in earlier. After a few minutes, his gaze met Chellick's. "Thank you for telling me."

Chellick nodded. He'd never been particularly fond of Shepard, but she had proven to be a strong ally and formidable opponent. Chellick also realized she had meant a lot to one of his best officers. And if she was that important to Garrus, then she did something right.

"If nothing else, Garrus," Chellick murmured, "she died with honor. A large number of the crew survived thanks to her sacrifice." Garrus only nodded vaguely.

Chellick stood, walking to the door. He paused in the doorjamb and murmured, "I know you were close with her. Take a few days to get your head straight. Hell, take a few weeks. Go back home to Palaven, give yourself time to grieve."

Garrus nodded again, completely silent.

…

Garrus wasn't sure when the disconnect occurred or how it happened. Suddenly, he didn't recognize who he had become. The figure in the mirrors looked like him, sure… but where was _Garrus_? Two long years had passed, and each day meant another day he was alive and she wasn't.

A shout came from the bridge, alerting him that a new pair of recruits was ready to risk life and limb for credits. He pushed his helmet down over his head, sighing deeply. Where had he gone wrong? His work was good – he was doing things that hadn't been done in Omega before. He was challenging the very core of Omega, and Omega was weakening.

But it felt hollow. As he lined up each shot and stared down the scope at another young, foolish human, he felt… dead.

As dead as she was.

Garrus pulled the trigger, felt the usual hesitation, and then the powerful kickback of the gun. Another young boy fell to the ground, never to return home. His mother, wife, children –whoever called him friend… they'd never see him again.

Garrus aimed for another merc who was busy hiding behind a crate, as if thinking he couldn't be seen at Garrus' high vantage. Trigger. Hesitation. Kickback. Dead. Again and again, more sheep flocked into his sights and fell like broken dolls on the bridge.

_Anything that was left of me inside this armor is dead, _Garrus mused, numb even to that morbid thought. _I like being dead. It doesn't hurt as much._

With the last fool dead on the bridge, Garrus moved toward one of the plush couches on the parapet he occupied. Sinking into it, he pulled up his omni-tool's display, opening a familiar message string. Pushing his helmet up, he scrolled to those final messages.

_Shepard: You worry too much. I've been out here scouring the Traverse for these damned things all month and there's been barely anything. It's not like the geth are the real problem, anyway._

_Me: Just promise me you won't do something dumb and get hurt. You're always getting hurt._

_Shepard: Nothing a slap of medigel doesn't cure, worry wart. _

_Me: I understand the worry… but what is a wart?_

_Shepard: Have you still not downloaded that human dictionary? It's a skin growth, by the way. _

_Me: Why would a skin growth worry about anything? Are warts sentient?_

_Shepard: No, it's a human phrase… I never realized what a dumb one it was until just now. But you didn't answer my question: dictionary?_

_Me: I downloaded it, but it's not like I spend my free time reading dictionaries. You ping me too often to do anything other than talk with you._

_Shepard: Well fine! See if I ping you back, you Negative Nancy._

_Me: Another human phrase, I take it?_

_Me: Shepard?_

_Me: Okay, I get it. I'm sorry for being a skin growth and a Negative Nancy. _

_Shepard: Good! Anyway, I think I am going to try to get some shut eye until we run across those geth. Is it okay if I call you tonight? After your shift, of course._

_Me: I'll hold you to that. _

_Me: I miss you. Sleep well._

_Shepard: Miss you, too. Talk soon._

There was a gap of six hours after the last message before Garrus had sent another ping.

_Me: Shepard, I'm going to be working late tonight but you can still call me. I'm trying to finish up some paperwork. _

There was another break of an hour.

_Me: Finishing up at the office. I'll be heading home in about an hour. Call me when you're done. _

There was another break, this time of two hours.

_Me: They're wrong. They have to be wrong. Call me. Now. I need to know this is a mistake._

_Me: Shepard?_

Garrus closed his eyes, feeling the hot pain building again. No matter how many times he tried to forget her, to forget all the time they spent together… it was in vain. He would pull up the messages and remember all over again. No matter how many times he convinced himself every inch of feeling within him was gone… he'd remember her voice or the feel of her soft skin against his plates.

"Archangel!" a shout from the bridge floated up.

"And here we go again," Garrus murmured to himself. He stood, lowering his helmet again. He went to the lip of the railing, glancing down. He was able to pick off the first three across the bridge in rapid succession but felt his hand hesitate when he saw the very feminine suit of N7 armor.

Garrus swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry. It could easily be a trick – someone could have figured out who he was and who he knew in the past… He watched as the figure inside the suit sent hand commands to the two humans flanking her. They each took cover opposite of each other while the main female ran ahead. Garrus inserted a practice slug into the chamber, letting it off at the woman.

She fell back due to the force but pushed on, motioning for her squad mates to follow. Before she made it halfway, though, she pulled her gun and fired at something – more than likely a merc who'd somehow snuck by. One of her squad turned, using biotics to toss another merc high into the air and over the bridge.

_Shepard,_ Garrus allowed himself to believe it for a moment before dismissing it. Impossible. Aria probably found herself an ex-N7 to come in and offer him a job.

He watched the woman move, watched her mannerisms as she ducked behind cover and commanded her companions. It was very much so like watching Shepard. But that was impossible. Shepard was dead. She had burned to a crisp in the atmosphere of some distant planet, according to reports and speculation.

He fired off a few more of the practice shots at her and her companions in hope that the mercs wouldn't notice anything amiss. The show of biotics on the bridge might have given them away, though.

In no time at all the trio made it past the bridge and pushed into the lobby. He heard their gunfire on the stairs and knew they were cleaning up the few that managed to get past his defenses.

"Archangel?"

Garrus didn't turn. He knew the voice. He knew that voice better than anything else because it still haunted him in his dreams. He took a deep breath, firing a shot into a merc on the other end of the bridge. The assault had paused for a moment and so Garrus steeled himself against his feelings and his thundering heart.

He turned, casually taking a seat against one of the pillars, his rifle propped between his legs. He slowly moved his helmet up, taking in the full sight of Commander Shepard. "Shepard… you're supposed to be dead."

Shepard's eyes widened; Garrus would have laughed had he not been having what felt like an internal panic attack. "Garrus?" she stammered.

Garrus forced himself to smile. "Yeah."

Shepard practically flung herself forward, coming right up to him before remembering herself. She paused, her arms falling limply to her sides. "Garrus, I… I am so glad to see you."

Garrus chuckled softly, setting his gun aside as he stood up. "It's good to see a friendly face," he murmured, reaching out and pulling her into a friendly hug. He wasn't sure if he could muster more than that.

Shepard pulled away, offering an attempt at humor. "Oh yeah? Then why'd you shoot me?"

"Practice slugs," he said dismissively. "If I wanted to do anything more than take down your shield, you'd be dead." That word hung in the air awkwardly for a moment before he added in a soft undertone, "You could have pinged me or something."

"I know," Shepard groused softly, looking down at her feet. "I just thought… no one knew where you were and I didn't know if you wanted to be reminded of…"

"It's always nice to know your best friend is alive," he returned, letting a little bit of his disappointment linger in his voice.

Shepard met his eyes, looked appropriately abashed. "It's a new development. Cerberus spent the last two years rebuilding me so I could help with the colony kidnappings."

Garrus nodded and opened his mouth to say something when a bullet whizzed by his face. Shepard cursed, crouching down and pulling Garrus along with her. Garrus grabbed his rifle, moving to the railing again. "Shepard, we need to catch up later. Another wave is coming through and I am guessing you're up here to ask me to join you."

"Only if you'll have me," Shepard murmured softly.

Garrus turned, meeting her eyes. She looked… different. There was something there that seemed to shift under the surface, making her appear sad and somewhat lost. He wanted to hold her close and tell her that he'd never moved on; he'd never replaced her. He wanted her to know that he had loved her during their trip to Earth over two years ago and he still loved her now. Instead, he offered her a faint smile and said, "Let's get rid of these mercs and then we can talk about it."

Her face registered something akin to regret and she nodded. "We'll take the lobby. Try not to get yourself shot, okay?"

Garrus chuckled. "You, too. You only just got back."

* * *

Author's Note:

Welcome back to everyone who is joining us from The Bucket List. For those of you who did not read TBL, you might be a tad confused. :)

I am struggling with what I want to do about this continuation. I think I have come to the conclusion that, in order to steer away from changing events that happened in the game (which I unfortunately had to do here in order to make it feel more like TBL), I will mostly be dealing with psychological reactions as well as what happens during downtime. A lot of this story is going to be taking place on the Normandy, Citadel, and Illium. And it is probably going to be about 90% fluffy marshmellowy goodness. :)

The first chapter's title song is "All the Rowboats" by Regina Spektor.

Let me know how you felt with this first chapter!

Love Love,

E.


	2. Your Ex Lover is Dead

Chapter 2

Your Ex-Lover is Dead

* * *

If she wasn't pacing the floor then she was tapping her fingers mercilessly on the lacquered table. The noise of her blunt fingernails on the wood made a sharp _thwack _at each strike, quickly driving Jacob from the room. Her mood was understandable, he mused to himself. Her former teammate took a missile to the face. It made sense that the hardened woman would be upset. But _damn, _he wished she could be more silent about it.

Jacob made his way to the crew deck and bee-lined for the medical bay. Chakwas had drawn the blinds for privacy, but Jacob disregarded them. He strode into the room, the door dilating to let him through.

To his surprise, Chakwas was sitting at her console, sipping coffee. She glanced up at him as he entered, offering a faint smile. "Mister Taylor. What brings you down?"

"How is he, doc?" Jacob asked, voice lowered in case the turian was sleeping. "Commander's running holes into the deck."

Chakwas rolled her eyes, taking another sip from her mug. "Well, the Commander can walk her pretty self down here and check, can't she?" she asked, tone teasing.

Jacob snorted back a laugh before amending softly, "Honestly, I was checking more for my benefit. The sound she makes with her fingernail tapping is really getting on my nerves."

Chakwas grinned. "That sounds like Shepard." At that moment, the shape that was Garrus began to shift on his cot in the corner. Chakwas stood, leaving her mug behind as she stepped toward the turian. "Garrus, how are you feeling?"

He mumbled something so low that Jacob couldn't quite make it out. Chakwas chuckled, patting the turian's shoulder. "Well, you are lucky to be alive. Stay here as long as you need and I'll keep Shepard at bay."

At that, Garrus began to lift himself off the cot, continuing to mutter. Chakwas reached out to help him up, all the while telling him he was being stupid for moving around after such an injury.

"I'll be fine," he grumbled, getting to his feet. "Damn if my face doesn't feel like it's glued back together, though."

Chakwas grinned. "That's because it was, you buffoon. Go tell the Commander you're feeling better before you do anything else, or it's mine and Jacob's heads."

"Jacob?" Garrus repeated, eyes turning to meet Jacob's. "Ah, you were with Shepard."

Jacob nodded, stepping closer to the turian. "Jacob Taylor, Cerberus." He offered his hand, only half expecting the turian to accept the handshake.

He did, however, and said, "It's good to meet you. Thanks for bringing her back."

Jacob chuckled. "I had no part in that venture. I'm just a soldier. You'll want to thank Miranda for being the brains in the operation. She's the one who handled Shepard's restructuring."

Garrus nodded, amending with, "Well then thank you for watching Shepard's six." He looked anxiously around. "Care to take me to her? I think we have some… catching up to do."

Jacob watched the turian closely for a moment, noticing the unbridled look of disquiet in the turian's eyes. Jacob took a few moments to try discerning Garrus' nervousness before turning toward the door. "Sure thing. She seems pretty anxious to see you, too."

…

The second attempt at their reunion had been almost as awkward as the first. They had made small jokes at their own expenses while Jacob stood to the side, monitoring. Garrus felt like a complete idiot when he mentioned ladies liking scars – what the hell prompted that, anyway? His hurried cover-up with the "most of those are Krogan, though" was equally as cheesy.

Shepard was smiling, though, and looked years younger when she did. She finally glanced over at Jacob and said, "Jacob, would you mind going down and seeing if Miranda has filed our report to The Illusive Man yet? I was hoping she could send me a copy to proof."

Jacob cocked an eyebrow but didn't argue. "Sure thing, Commander. I'll go right now." He headed for the door, shaking his head.

Once they were alone, Garrus chuckled. "Proof reading reports? What the hell did Cerberus do to you?"

Shepard smirked, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning back. "I just wanted him out of here. It's hard to have a private conversation with someone breathing down your neck."

"Shepard," an electronic voice hummed from the intercom in the ceiling, "would you like me to turn off monitoring in this room?"

Shepard closed her eyes, looking exasperated. "Yes, EDI."

Garrus looked startled. "Was that a VI or AI?"

Shepard chuckled. "AI. Nothing but the best for Shepard, you know," she simpered in a hollow voice. She bit her lower lip, regarding Garrus carefully. After a moment, she murmured, "Is this as awkward for you as it is for me?"

Garrus laughed, feeling like the ice was finally breaking. "I would assume so. Where do we begin?"

"We begin," she murmured, "by moving to the Starboard Observatory so you can sit down comfortably. You look like you might pass out any second. Do you still have a taste for turian wine? I just might have some in that bulk food crate I bought the cook."

Garrus grinned. "Sounds fantastic. I'll meet you down there… once I figure out where that is."

Shepard snorted, waving for him to follow her. "We're going to about the same place. Besides, now I can introduce you to Kelly, our onboard shrink."

"Damn, you weren't kidding when you said nothing but the best for you," Garrus grumbled, making Shepard grin.

The pair made their way through the Armory, which Garrus paused to briefly take stock of the weapons and modifications available. He hummed his pleasure at the sight of the sniper rifles. "The only way this gets better is if they have multiple private crew quarters."

Shepard smirked. "Alas, that is one thing we don't have."

"A shooting range?" Garrus pressed.

"No, but I hear they just opened a new one on the Citadel. Next time we're there, we should check it out."

Garrus chuckled. "Says the girl who's been dead for two years… how did you hear about this and I didn't?"

"I imagine it was a little lonely in your corner the past few years," Shepard murmured softly.

Garrus nodded, feeling the mood plummet. "It certainly was."

They made their way to the CIC where Shepard briefly introduced Kelly to Garrus. After a few awkward moments of Kelly fondly telling Garrus that, between her and him, turians were by far her favorite species, Shepard managed to pull Garrus away.

"Is she always like that?" he asked in the elevator.

Shepard offered him a grin. "Flirty as all hell? Yes." The elevator made a sharp _ting _as they reached the crew deck. Shepard showed him around the deck briefly before getting him seated in the observatory. "Stay here, I'll be back in a jiffy."

Before Garrus could ask what the hell a jiffy was, she was out the door. He sat on the couch, watching the stars and wondering how the hell things could change so quickly. This morning he had been ready to be taken out by the mercs at any moment. Now, he was sitting with his right mandible barely hanging on, wishing he had taken better care of himself. Not just for himself, but for Shepard.

_I must look like a complete failure, _he thought, smiling ruefully. _Scarred all to hell, banged up, smelling like the bad side of last week… Damn it._

Garrus pulled up his omni-tool's interface and found a familiar picture that he hadn't viewed in about a year – ever since he'd given up on her being alive. He opened the picture, looking at his own face; back then it was less haggard and there were no scars to be seen. He looked better then, his color more vibrant and eyes happier.

And there was Shepard, her lips pressed against his cheek; against the mandible which was now practically falling off. She looked so happy, so…

The door opened and Shepard strolled in with two bottles tucked under her arms, two glasses in hand. "Turian brandy will have to do," she alleged, making her way over and sitting down beside him. She glanced at his omni-tool, her face becoming wistful. "Oh, the Era pictures…" She swallowed, looking away. "That's the only one left," she murmured with regret. When she looked back his way, her saw the raw hurt in her eyes. "They were all destroyed when I… when the ship…"

"What's your new omni-tool identifier?" he asked, breaking her off. "I'll send you a copy." He copied down her number into his contacts and sent the picture over.

They were silent for a time as they poured their respective drinks. Finally, Garrus spoke up. "I see I'm not the only one with scars…"

Shepard chuckled, her hand rising to cover her cheek. "I wasn't done healing when they woke me up," she said with a faint grin. "But I guess I'm willing to trade in a second chance at life for a few cosmetic imperfections."

Garrus reached out, stroking his hand along one of the deep fissures. Shepard didn't flinch away as he had half expected. Instead she closed her eyes, dark eyelashes dusting across his finger. "We match," she laughed gently.

"Everything heals," Garrus murmured.

"It's nothing but time and a face that you lose, right?" she asked with a half-smile, glancing back up to him. "It just… it feels like time just got up and left without me, and here I am trying to pick up the pieces of things that I wasn't even around for. And then you…" She swallowed past the lump forming in her throat. "And then you almost died in my arms and I just kept thinking, 'this can't be happening, this can't be how we end.' I just got back and then you…"

Garrus brushed his hand over her arm. "Hey. I'm right here. We're both right here." He opened his arms to her and she moved closer, leaned against his destroyed armor. He took in the sweet smell of her vanilla scented hair and felt the body that was certainly his Shepard. What she had gone through, though… he was amazed she was holding together. "We're going to live through this, Shepard. We're going to live through it and we'll never look back. This was just a minor foul up."

Shepard snorted but sounded relieved when she replied, "Well, a little more than a _minor_ one, I think."

"Shepard," the AI's voice seemed to lilt over the intercom, "Mister Moreau would like to see Mister Vakarian once you are done."

Shepard closed her eyes, jaw clenched. "Thanks, EDI, we'll come up in a minute. Could you tell Joker to wait a bit?"

"Of course, Shepard," EDI replied coolly.

"I can see doing anything in private on this ship might be a challenge," Garrus chuckled.

"You have no idea," Shepard groaned. "She says she can shut down the monitoring system, but part of me thinks she doesn't. She seems oddly personable, even for an AI."

"I've always been a little wary of AI's," he murmured against her hair, not wanting to move from her side. After a few moments of silence, he added, "It's good to have you back, Shepard."

She turned her face to him, a genuine smile tilting her lips. "I'm glad to be back. _Especially_ now that you're here. I don't know that I fully trust Cerberus at my back."

Garrus hummed his agreement. "But now you have me. And I am way better than all of Cerberus combined."

"Damn right," Shepard agreed with a chuckle. She pressed her forehead against his, eyes fluttering closed. "God, Garrus, please tell me you didn't up and get married while I was dead."

Garrus' laugh was deep and startling with its intensity. "Oh Shepard, I see death improved your sense of humor." Lowering his tone, he whispered, "You were the last woman I let get anywhere close to me, Shepard. After you, no one else can even come close to comparing."

The intercom crackled and Jeff's very smug voice filtered over. "Sooo, I see why you haven't been up to see me yet, Garrus."

"Joker," Shepard growled warningly. "What have I told you about eavesdropping? I will have you thrown in the brig for the rest of your life. I can do that, you know. We have an AI now; what the hell do I need you for?" Shepard's lips were tilted into a smile, making her threat completely empty.

Joker knew it, too; his cackle was probably heard throughout the ship. "Ma'am, yes ma'am!"

Garrus' undamaged mandible flared. "It seems the new Normandy is never lacking for excitement."

"Never," Shepard sighed wistfully.

* * *

Author's Note:

This chapter's song is "Your Ex-Lover is Dead" by Stars. The line "it's nothing but time and a face that you lose" was taken directly from the song. The "live through this" line references a lyric in the same song, as well. No plagiarism intended; I think those lines are so beautiful and accurately fit the scene that I had to use them! :)

I am currently on vacation with the husband in California, so updates might be sporadic (at best) but I will try to keep up on it. If nothing else, regular posting schedule will be back by next Sunday. :)

Happy Mother's Day to everyone – tell the special mom or mother-figure in your life that you love them!

Leave me some love love in the comments!

Love love,

E.


	3. The Ballad of Mona Lisa

_**Disclaimer: This one contains changes from the actual occurrences in the DLC Stolen Memory. Bear with me – I wanted some added drama. :)**_

**Chapter Three**

**The Ballad of Mona Lisa**

* * *

Garrus sat in the mess, moving the protein paste drizzle in his bowl around in circles with a turian fork. The thick spear of metal, made especially for turian fingers, had some trouble maneuvering through the even thicker gruel in the bowl.

Garrus felt her enter the mess before he saw her; he knew the sound of her steps – feather light and balanced, like a dancer. He caught the faint whiff of gunmetal and vanilla that seemed to cling to her and felt the room buzz in her unique vibrancy. Even death couldn't steal the way Shepard electrified a room.

She sat down across from him, grimacing at the contents of his bowl. "We're on our way to Bekenstein for the next mission," she informed him. "Gardner asked me to pick up some more rations on the Citadel afterwards; turns out we didn't get the _right stuff _last time_. _That man is picky as hell for not being willing to go out and get the rations himself.I figured we'll get some decent dextro food, too, if you'd like to accompany me," she added, a faint grin tugging her lips. "We can try out that shooting range."

Garrus hummed, feeling his mandibles clack against his face. "You know, I won't go easy on you because you're my commanding officer."

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "Well, that's only fair. Don't make fun of me too much, though; I'm two years behind on sniper practice."

Garrus chuckled, poking at the paste vigorously. "So, ready for this mission? I heard you're wearing a dress?" he added the last part as a question; one he sounded like he was confused over.

Shepard groaned. "Don't remind me. Our newest teammate had asked me to go _freshen up._ I'm not sure I like the implications of this. Infiltration isn't really my thing. Dresses even less so."

"Don't I know it?" Garrus grinned. "So, about this dress – anything like the one you wore to our dinner on Earth?" he asked in an undertone, voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper.

Shepard snorted. "Hardly. I'd like to think I looked a bit classy in that, at least. This one is… well, it's revealing," she chuckled and shrugged. "I guess Alison Gunn is a bit of a scantily-clad renegade."

"Mmmm, I approve of Miss Gunn's style. Perhaps she can come to the shooting range with me."

Shepard narrowed her eyes at him, but her smile was still plastered to her face. "You better watch it, Mr. Vakarian." She stood up, her smile slipping. "Well, I better go shower and get changed. God, this entire thing just makes my skin crawl. Making nice with someone like Hock is going to be an award-winning feat."

"You can handle it," Garrus said simply, voice affectionate.

Shepard snorted. "Thanks. I hope you're right." She sauntered back toward the elevator, leaving Garrus to his lunch.

…

"Are you sure this is working?" Shepard asked, fighting with her skirt uncomfortably. She knew her form was slender enough that the tight material shouldn't be unflattering, but that knowledge didn't seem to keep her from squirming. She wasn't accustomed to such tight clothing; it made her feel as though she was being suffocated.

"Positive," Kasumi said brightly, her eyes seeming to twinkle under her hood. The woman reached out and adjusted Shepard's chunky necklace. "Do you hear us alright, Joker?"

"Loud and clear, Kasumi," Joker's voice filtered into the women's earpieces. "We'll be just a few minutes away if things go south."

"How are the visuals?" Kasumi prompted. "I need to be sure you can see what Shepard sees. She might not be free to talk once she gets inside. The vault we're attempting to break into more than likely has many defense mechanisms – we're not sure what we're up against yet."

"We've got a clear feed," Joker responded. Unable to keep professional, he added, "But then, there's not too much we can see at her chest level."

Shepard smacked the necklace's face, which hid a microscopic camera and sound feed. Joker cursed on his end. "Shepard! Damn, that hurts!"

"Cut the crap, Joker," she simpered. "This is the first secret reconnaissance we've done in a really long time – the only one where I've been in unarmed."

"Yeah, whatever," Joker grumbled. "We've got the feeds going. Are you heading out?"

Kasumi, who was smiling rather coyly, went to the waiting car and opened the passenger side door. "Miss Gunn," she cooed. Shepard rolled her eyes, sliding into the passenger seat. Before Kasumi closed the door, she added flippantly, "Just remember, Shepard – if you get cornered, head to the bathroom to 'touch up your lipstick.' Oh, and just a pointer – make sure to keep your legs together if you sit down." She winked and shut the door before Shepard could retort.

…

Garrus watched the screen anxiously. The feed was a bit grainy but the microphone was picking up every sound – even Shepard's heels on the marbled floor of the mansion. She spoke with people in a haughty tone which Garrus hadn't even known she could produce; she held her champagne glass casually, not once sipping from it.

Kasumi was filtering information to her as she walked, the thief shadowing the mansion like a wraith and reporting back to Shepard every few moments. After a bit, Kasumi whispered something about DNA, voice sample, and cutting the power.

Garrus tried his best to pay attention to all of the fine details around Shepard, to things she might not notice. The only thing he was able to focus on, however, was the admiring glances the party's male members were giving Shepard.

He sat quietly in the co-pilot seat, watching silently with Joker. The Flight Lieutenant seemed to be lacking the ability to speak, as well. Shepard had been right; this was the first mission where she was left unprotected. The stakes were high until she managed to get to her armor and weapons hidden in the safe.

The pair watched as Shepard and Kasumi, who flickered in and out of her cloaking, cut the power to the vault. Shepard then broke into Hock's bedroom in search of DNA, Kasumi quickly coming to her aid when armed Eclipse mercs rounded the corner. The small thief was quick on her feet and managed to keep Shepard from harm; Garrus would have to thank her for that.

With the power cut and DNA samples, Kasumi glanced to Shepard. "Now you have to talk to him. I need a voice sample; the longer you can keep him talking, the better."

Shepard nodded, her jaw set in a firm line. "I should have drunk that champagne."

Kasumi's smile was genuine. "If we make it out of here, Shepard, I'll mix you the best damn cocktail you've ever had."

Shepard chuckled. "Well, we'll have to wait a bit on that. Not sure where we'd find a bar that would let you behind it."

It was Kasumi's turn to smile mischievously. "Why Shepard, didn't you know? The Normandy has a bar."

Shepard blinked, looking confused. "Since when?"

Kasumi chuckled. "Oh dear. Well, I guess I'll give you a tour of your ship once we're back. Come on – time to face the music." Kasumi crackled out of view, her body once again cloaked.

And face the music Shepard did. When she reemerged into the foyer, a strange, languid music was stirring from the sound system piped through the room. A few of the guests had begun to move with the sounds.

Shepard kept a steady pace as she meandered through the crowds of people. She finally made her way over to Hock, who was finally –blessedly- alone. When he saw her, his lips twitched into something that might be a smile…or a grimace.

"Ms. Gunn, we didn't have a chance to speak earlier. How are you enjoying the party?"

Shepard offered him her laziest smile and shrugged a shoulder casually. "Well, it's certainly interesting. I'm not one for parties usually, but I just couldn't pass this one up."

"Oh?" Hock pressed, his smile becoming more defined. "I understand. I hate parties. But I feel it a necessity to meet others who share my fervor at keeping the social stability of the planet in check. The world would fall out of balance if we let the rich yuppies run things their way. Greedy, filthy dogs."

Shepard bit her tongue to keep her smile in place. "That's why I enjoy the Traverse. It's easy to lose track of what the Citadel is doing, or pretending to do, when you have the whole Traverse to pillage."

Hock laughed; the sound was short, clipped and abrupt. "I like you, Ms. Gunn. My type of woman." He regarded Shepard for a moment before adding, "How about a dance while we exchange career stories?"

Shepard placed her hand firmly in his offered one. "I thought you'd never ask."

…

Garrus felt his mandibles quivering as he stood up. He knew it was part of the plot to get into Hock's vault and earn Kasumi's trust and favor. He knew Shepard's laugh was too throaty, too forced. He knew the slow, seductive drawl of her voice was slightly off. He knew that she was faking the way she draped herself against him.

But it still made his blood boil.

"Yeah, I'd be pretty pissed if my girlfriend was hanging on that douchebag, too," Joker sighed. "She's handling it really well for being so goody-two-shoes."

Garrus clenched his fists tightly, willing himself not to hit the brittle Flight Lieutenant. "I'm going to be down in the Main Battery. Call me if she needs backup," he growled, practically stomping out of the cockpit.

Garrus spent the next few hours in the Battery, running the same calibrations he ran the day before. He couldn't get her voice out of his head; the way she was taking to that _pyjak _made his hands shake in anger.

He almost didn't notice when the door to the Battery opened. The smell of vanilla, tinged with sweat, swept through the room, making him turn. Shepard stood there in her armor, helmet under her arm. She was not smiling. "Joker said you were upset at me."

Garrus turned back to the numbers on his console. He cursed the pilot briefly before murmuring, "No, I'm not mad. It was just…interesting… to see you act like…" his voice trailed off.

He heard Shepard shift her weight; he could imagine her leaning against the wall, arms crossed under her chest. "Like what, Garrus?" her voice was light but guarded.

"I don't know," he admitted. "It just wasn't something I was ready to see."

"Well, you won't have to again, as far as I know," she answered simply. "Was that it, or did you need to talk to me about something else?"

Garrus closed his eyes. This was the closest thing they'd ever had to an argument and it felt like hell. He turned to face her, forcing a smile. "No. I'm glad your mission went well."

Shepard stood there for a moment before nodding. "All right. I need to go check on the rest of the crew. I'll see you later." She left the Battery without another word, her back stiff.

Garrus waited until to door closed before kicking his foot against the console, relishing the hot pain that flared up from it.

…

"Shepard, welcome to your bar," Kasumi grinned, leading the Commander into the Port Observatory.

"This door has been locked with no access code since we got it," Shepard exclaimed, looking around the lounge with sudden amazement. "How did you get in?"

Kasumi smiled gracefully, stepping behind the bar. "Let's just say I have talents that make locked doors very easy to open. Now, Shepard, what kind of drink do you like?"

Shepard sat at the bar, feeling herself smiling wanly. "I'm not sure, Kasumi. Surprise me."

Kasumi nodded sagely, ducking down to poke around behind the bar. "Let me see… Commander Shepard, savior of the Citadel and first human Spectre. You need something special… let me see…" she hummed to herself as she rummaged, finally emerging with a strange pink flask and a dusty bottle of something brown.

"All right, Shep. Now, tell my why you look so glum… I thought you'd be happy. We have Keiji's graybox and I am happily now a part of your lovely entourage."

Shepard shrugged. "It's nothing, just a bit of stress, I suppose."

Kasumi snorted. "Please. You must be confusing me for one of your male crew that can't pick up emotion if they were handed a basket of the stuff."

Shepard laughed, shaking her head. "Really. I don't like sharing personal information. It's nothing against you, I'm just-"

"No, I get it," Kasumi interrupted, pouring the pink vial into a glass and topping it off with the brown liquid. She stirred the stuff together with a straw before handing the glass to Shepard. "Drink this. I'll be in the corner, minding my own business. Let me know if you want to talk."

The woman sauntered to the back of the room, her feet noiseless. Shepard took her drink, sipping it awkwardly. The taste was strange and exotic; it tasted more like crushed flower petals than anything else. The more she drank, the better it became.

Shepard drained her glass within a few minutes. When she turned to look at Kasumi, she noticed her vision spinning pleasantly. "What the hell was in that drink?" she asked – or attempted to.

Kasumi glanced over in Shepard's directions, full lips quirked into a half smile. "You okay, Shep?"

Shepard got to her feet, feeling the room tilt. "What the hell did I drink?" she asked again.

Kasumi chuckled. "It's Batarian brandy with a hint of hibiscus. It's strong, but I didn't think it would knock you on your butt," she admitted, helping Shepard over to the couch "It leaves the system quicker than human stills. You'll be fine in thirty minutes or so."

Shepard sat down heavily on the couch, watching the stars burn in the sky around them. Kasumi took her place on the other end of the couch and resumed what she had been doing – painting her toenails casually with a practiced hand. The toes glittered a deep plum color, shimmering under the Normandy's fluorescent lighting.

The last thing Shepard remembered was Kasumi's soft voice humming and the color purple.

…

Garrus found himself outside of Shepard's quarters, tapping his foot nervously. He had knocked twice and gotten no response – he knew she was inside because the door had been locked from the interior.

He was about to give up when the door light flashed green and then dilated, showing a freshly bathed Shepard drying her hair with a towel. "Garrus, come in. Sorry it took me a bit – didn't hear you over the faucet at first."

The smell of vanilla was stronger than ever in the room. Shepard wore a thick red bathrobe as she worked the water out of her now shoulder-length hair. Her back was to him, but he caught sight of something strange.

"Shepard, what's on your feet?"

Shepard looked down before chuckling. "Well, I believe that would be toenail polish. Kasumi must have painted them." She wiggled her toes, the nails twinkling a vibrant red.

"A human thing?" he asked, confused as to how the small human had gotten close enough to Shepard's feet to paint them without her knowing.

Shepard murmured her agreement, ducking into the bathroom to hang up her towel. When she returned, she offered him a soft smile. "I'm glad you came up. I wanted to… to let you know that I'm sorry. I wasn't sensitive to your feelings earlier. You have every right to have felt uncomfortable with what was happening."

Garrus nodded. "I know. But I didn't have a right to take it out on you."

Shepard shrugged. "It happens."

"Maybe with humans," Garrus hummed, "but turians are very good about keeping personal feelings out of things."

Shepard stepped a bit closer. "You've always been a bad turian," she offered with a smirk.

"Mmm, you'd know all about that," Garrus thrummed, closing the distance between their bodies. "And while I am being a bad turian, why don't you teach me this human dancing of yours. I am unfamiliar with the movements."

Shepard giggled, a bit of her old self seeming to come back. "Trust me, Garrus… I am the last person you want to take dancing lessons from."

* * *

Author's Note:

I'm back! Safe and sound back at home – I have to admit, though, the road trip and the stay in Cali were fantastic. I was so sad to come back home… The only downside to the trip was two horrendous third degree burns I got – one on my chest and the other on my forehead. Let me just say it is not too pretty. Like, at all. Aloe and I have become the closest friends…

This chapter's song is "The Ballad of Mona Lisa" by Panic! At the Disco.

Leave me some love-love in the comments!

Love love,

E.


	4. Everything We Had

**Chapter 4**

**Everything We Had**

* * *

Things tended not to go the way he planned. After thirty five years, Garrus had expected himself to accept this fact. It was a very simple concept, and yet he was still baffled by the galaxy's ability to change in completely unexpected ways.

Thus was his relationship with Shepard. It had seemed as though she was willing to pick up where they had left off; after all, the past two years was the blink of an eye to her. However, as he had wrapped his arms around her slender human form and drew her into a kiss, he sensed it – a change.

Everything seemed close to normal at first – her lips were plump and a bit chapped from weather exposure. Her eyes fluttered closed, eyelashes dusting her cheeks. Her body moved in the same ways that the body from two years ago had.

Small differences began adding up, though. At first, Garrus pushed them back into the farthest depths of his mind. He was finally embracing his other half, the piece he had been missing for two long years. But the differences grew. Her fingers flitted over his shoulders nervously, feather light as the spread across the material of his civilian tunic. Her lips were drawn tightly together; nothing like the loose, sensuous bits he remembered. And then she began tapping her foot on the floor – something she had never done, especially not while kissing.

Garrus pulled away, eyes narrowed in confusion. "Are you alright, Shepard?"

She met his gaze and the truth was written out plainly in her eyes. She was far from alright. She pulled out of his arms and took a deep breath. "I… am just a little…" She took a few steps back and sank down on her bed, letting out a defeated sigh. "I don't know how to describe it."

"You're acting like you're uncomfortable," Garrus offered. He wanted to go to her, sit beside her, kneel in front of her – _something_. He kept to himself, as a good turian would, and simply watched her.

Shepard closed her eyes and took a breath. "I… I don't know how it is for you. Our species are so different. Kissing, for one. Turians don't kiss normally," she chuckled, more to herself than anything. "But when humans kiss… there's this flurry of emotion and… breathlessness."

Garrus nodded. He would be lying if he denied watching a few of Joker's vids while trying to figure out human intercourse back on the SR-I. The humans did seem to have difficulty breathing after such things. "I understand. Is this shortness of breath… bad?"

Shepard's eyelids parted and she looked at him apologetically. "It didn't used to be." Garrus' expression must have betrayed the sinking horror he felt at those words. Did she regret their relationship? Wasn't she just telling him she felt the same way, or did he imagine that? Quickly, Shepard continued, "What I mean is that… breathlessness was not something to be afraid of..."

The puzzle pieces fell into place immediately, leaving Garrus feeling like an idiot and an ass at the same time. Her last moments alive, before entering the atmosphere of a distant planet, were moments of suffocation. "Oh Shepard," he began, voice full of remorse. "I should have thought-"

Shepard laughed, the sound harsh. "Thought what? That Cerberus would fix my body but forget to erase the last minute of my life before death?" She shook her head. "It's stupid. It's a dumb fear and I am working on getting over it."

Garrus watched the woman in disbelief. She had always, _always¸ _been hard on herself; expected that she live up to insane goals and supersede the natural abilities of her race. In most cases, she achieved those goals. But this… "Shepard, you_died_. You have an excuse to be a little wary of things."

Shepard gave a noncommittal sigh before flopping back onto the bed. "I guess I should have told you that you were signing on to damaged goods."

Garrus took his chances and walked over to the bed, lying down on his side. He pulled her small frame against him, holding her close. She curled herself to fit the empty spaces between them immediately, without any resignation. That, at least, was a good sign. "If you're damaged goods than I'd hate to think what I am. At least you look good," he teased gently, making her snort back laughter. More seriously, he added, "Take your time, Shepard. You're worth the wait."

"Whatever, Vakarian," she murmured softly. They laid in silence for a few moments, nothing but the sound of Shepard's soft breathing and the burble of the empty fish tank. Garrus was beginning to drift into a fitful sleep when Shepard's voice, laced with weariness, murmured, "Thank you for staying with me."

"There's nowhere I'd rather be, Shepard. Except maybe if we were on a beach somewhere… drinks with those silly umbrella things they gave us at the beach in Florida…"

Shepard chuckled sleepily. "Umbrellas? I never took you for an umbrella kind of guy."

"What can I say, they're kinda cute. Just don't tell Joker I said that. I have a reputation to keep, you know. "

"Wouldn't dream of it," Shepard yawned, eyes closing in exhaustion.

…

"Commander, you asked to be alerted when we made it to Omega," Joker called over the intercom, making Shepard jolt awake in a very unbecoming way. She rubbed her face, glancing down at Garrus; he was still in the same position he had fallen asleep in.

"Yeah, okay, thanks," Shepard grumbled, running a hand through her tangle of hair. "Could you tell Miranda and Jacob to get prepped and ready to go ashore in 30 minutes?"

"They're already here dressed and chompin' at the bit, Shep. Whenever you're ready to astound us with your presence," he added, the grin evident in his voice. She heard Jacob let out a small chuckle in the background.

She smiled at Joker's words, shaking her head. As the weariness faded, Shepard found that sleep had done her well. She was in better spirits then she'd remembered being in a long time. "Joker, if you weren't brittle I'd hit you."

"I don't have to take your abuse, Commander," the flight lieutenant cracked. "They have Cerberus support groups for anger, you know, you might wanna check into a few." Miranda said something in an undertone and Joker quipped, "Never mind, the 'support group' means complaining to Miranda."

"I'll be there in a few," Shepard returned, chuckling. She heard the soft beep of the feed being disconnected and got to her feet. She stretched, feeling the all-too-familiar aches in her bones where the metal plates had been attached. Miranda had claimed they were just phantom pains, that the plates had melded with bone and were now as much a part of her as her left foot. Shepard was sure she was right, but it didn't make the aches go away.

She went into the bathroom, making a quick task of taking care of her hair (she threw it into a messy bun so as not to have to deal with it further) and brushing her teeth. She was done in a few minutes and went to the tiny nook be the door, directly behind EDI's holo-console. She grabbed a pair of nondescript black leggings and a black tee, which was tighter than she would have liked. Cerberus certainly was a fan of showing off their ladies' goods; Miranda was a dead giveaway to that.

_They're also a fan of plastering their damn logo on everything, _she thought with distaste. _Note to self: buy new clothes. Maybe wait for the Citadel, though; not sure the fashion on Omega is quite what I'm going for._

Her discarded armor was on the couch, piled in neat stacks with a loving hand. She had always been taught that there were two things to never disrespect: your armor and your commanding officer – in that order. She slipped into the heavy boots, secured her grieves, then her breastplate. Her shoulder pieces fell into place, then her arm set and gloves. The last piece was her headpiece, the blue interface flickering to life once it detected her pulse.

She had almost made it out the door when Garrus awoke.

"What's going on, Shepard? If we're at Omega, why didn't you wake me?" He was getting to his feet swiftly, eyes focusing instantly. She admired how quickly he could be up and alert. It usually took a strong cup of coffee or bullets whizzing by for her to get that kind of clarity.

Shepard steeled herself for a fight. "You're not a human. You're not a vorcha. This plague will eat you alive; there's no way you are going in with me."

"Shepard, reports say that Doctor Solus does have a cure at his facility," EDI interrupted, too helpful. Shepard closed her eyes and, not for the first time, cursing the AI.

"See?" Garrus pressed. "The good doctor has a cure."

Shepard shook her head. "I'm not risking it, Garrus. I need the shore party at their best. We're not sure who caused this, but I am sure they aren't willing to let us go in and traipse through their bio-warzone without a fuss."

"I'm the best damn shot you have, Shepard," Garrus argued.

"And you're also turian," she returned, voice level but firm. The tone meant business and Garrus knew there was no way she would back down. "If –_when - _you get infected, you're a risk. Your guard starts slipping and then you endanger yourself and the rest of the team. You'd endanger _me_," she added, driving the point home.

Garrus' good mandible flared wide, letting out a terrible clack when it slapped back against his face. "You're right. But I don't have to like it."

Shepard offered him a soft smile. "Garrus, when this armor is on, I'm your commanding officer. I am thinking about the pros and the cons of every call I make. So when I say I need you to stay on the Normandy… it's because I have a good reason."

Garrus chuckled but did look appropriately abashed. "Pulling rank, Shepard?" He ran a hand over his injured mandible and murmured, "I guess I could go see Chakwas… she wanted to check on the graft."

Shepard nodded, seeming pleased. "Do that. I'll see you when I get back, okay?" Her smile was sweet and sincere as she stood on her tiptoes and placed her lips to his.

Garrus had grown to love the strange sign of affection. It was very human, but also very Shepard. "Go on," he hummed, "before I change my mind and follow you like a lost pyjak."

Shepard chuckled, pulling away. "If you get too anxious, go get a drink – turns out we have a bar in the Port Observatory." She left him with that surprising piece of information, moving toward the elevator.

…

Kasumi, as Garrus discovered, was a very strange human. She had a childish, carefree air about her, and yet she was also a proficient thief and sometimes-assassin. The last bit she said flippantly, as though she didn't much care for the work but happened to do it from time to time. It almost sounded like how Shepard described her coffee drinking habits.

Garrus was close to his fourth glass of turian brandy and feeling a pleasant buzz taking residency in his skull. Kasumi was sprawled over a couch, running something course over her nails; buffing them, as she said.

"Do you ever take your hood off?" Garrus asked when the girl had stopped chattering in order to pay close attention to her nails.

Kasumi glanced up briefly, eyes seeming to glitter under her hood. A small smile played on her lips as if she was infinitely amused. "It's kinda soon to ask me to take my clothes off, isn't it?"

Even though her voice was teasing, Garrus felt his left mandible flail in embarrassment. "No! I mean, I don't-"

Kasumi laughed, going back to her nails. "If you didn't make it so easy, I wouldn't tease you. And no, I don't take my hood off. Especially not in a ship with eyes and ears." She pointed her fingers toward five areas around the perimeter of the room.

Garrus chuckled. He had figured there was recording equipment through the ship but had never paid much mind to it. Shepard seemed slightly annoyed by them but not overly concerned, so he wouldn't be, either. "You're paranoid. Cerberus already knows everything about you if they let you on the ship."

Kasumi smirked. "Cerberus knows what I want them to know and they let me on the ship because they know I am one of the best."

"And only the best is allowed when it comes to Shepard's team," Garrus added, chuckling into his brandy.

Kasumi went back to her nails, purple-tinged lips tilting into a smile.

The two shared a companionable silence before EDI popped up in her terminal. "Mr. Vakarian, you asked to be alerted when the shore party returned."

Garrus felt a tension he hadn't noticed fade dramatically. "Thanks, EDI. See if they want to come in and have a drink with Kasumi and me." Kasumi looked up inquisitively, her posture much like that of a startled bird.

"Unfortunately, I do not believe that will be a possibility," EDI intoned. "Commander Shepard is currently being carried into the Medical Bay for immediate toxin-"

Garrus didn't wait to hear anything else. His glass shattered on the floor as he flung himself into motion. Kasumi followed behind at a much more reserved pace. Garrus practically collided with Jacob, who was coming off of the elevator with Shepard flung over his shoulder.

"What happened?" Garrus asked, following the muscled man to the Med Bay. Chakwas met them at the door and pointed out a table for Shepard.

"Batarian at the bar," Jacob responded finally once he put Shepard onto the examination table. "The ass gave her a drink. Don't know what the hell was in it but Shepard hit the ground. Tried medi-gel, but it didn't do a thing."

Miranda came through the door, Kasumi trailing behind like a curious bystander. "I asked around the bar," Miranda announced, crossing her arms under her chest and leaning against Chakwas' desk. "Supposedly Shepard's not the first human to mysteriously drop after accepting a drink from that bartender."

Chakwas and Jacob managed to get Shepard's armor off and Chakwas checked the commander's pulse and vitals. "Pulse is weakened and erratic. Miranda, bring me the black box under the desk to your right. Quickly, please," she added briskly.

Miranda found the box and brought it to Chakwas. The doctor opened it up and took out a small booklet, thumbing through it. "Jacob, there's a bottle of blue solution in the glass cabinet against the back wall. It says Dalicephimine. Please bring it here."

Garrus' hands were clenched into fists. He knew which bartender they were referring to. He'd heard rumors about the batarian's activities, but there never seemed to be any proof. Besides, Garrus had been so busy with the merc groups that…

Chakwas was cutting the black tee shirt away from Shepard, exposing her torso. She left the bra in place; the black material accented how pale Shepard was becoming. Chakwas ignored the fact that Shepard's skin seemed to be growing more sallow by the moment. She instead pulled a long needle from the black box, tearing it from the wrapping. Jacob returned with the solution, to which Chakwas interested the needle. "Garrus, could you restrain her, please?" Chakwas asked without looking away from the needle.

Garrus stepped forward, fury burning within him. "Will she be alright?" he asked, his voice deeper than usual.

"Hold her by the shoulders. She will thrash," Chakwas said, evading the question. Garrus gritted his sharp teeth before doing as he was asked. He watched as Chakwas pulled the long, slender needle out of the container. "On the count of three," she said, meeting Garrus' eyes.

One.

Garrus glanced down at Shepard's lips, parted in her uneven breathing; they were turning purple.

Two.

His fingers gripped into Shepard's shoulders tightly, watching her eyes dart around under the closed lids.

Three.

Garrus closed his eyes, unwilling to see the next moment.

There was a noise, almost like a thump, and Shepard jolted to life beneath him. She was screaming, something Garrus had never actually heard before. The sounds were those of a wounded animal cornered by predators. It took all of Garrus strength to hold her down, to not release her in fear that she was screaming because he was applying too much pressure.

Shepard's screams slowly faded and she stopped struggling beneath him. Garrus finally opened his eyes. Shepard's lips were returning to their normal peachy sheen but her face was contorted in pain. The needle was still sticking out of Shepard's chest, the blue liquid completely plunged.

"Miranda, get my bottle of vodka from the box to your left?" Chakwas requested, voice wary. Miranda turned to the desk again and procured the requested bottle. Chakwas unscrewed the top and took a long draft, wincing. She then handed the bottle to Miranda. The human crew all took long swigs of the clear liquid and Garrus stood beside Shepard, hands still on her shoulders.

"She's all right, Garrus," Chakwas murmured gently. "Using Dalicephimine was a risk, but luckily my hunch was right. The batarian has been using a strong neurotoxin. It's surprising Shepard lived long enough to make it back to the ship."

Garrus pulled away from Shepard and shook his head. "I'm going shore side," he growled. "If I'm not back in thirty minutes, leave without me."

"Garrus, don't be a fool," Miranda chided from her perch by Chakwas' desk. "We should leave now-"

Garrus was already out the door. He stopped at his foot locker and grabbed his guns before taking the elevator up. He was off the ship within moments. He shouldered his way through the lines of people, past the bouncer, and into Afterlife.

He made his way to the lower bar, eyes narrowed as he honed in on his prey. In only minutes, he was in front of the batarian who was grinning smugly. "What are you having?" the batarian asked, his quarrel having nothing to do with turians.

Garrus reached out and grabbed the puny, oily skinned thing by the neck and dragging him over the bar. Reactions to his actions were mixed – a few seemed amused and others were dead set on ignoring everything besides the drink in their hands.

"What the f-"

"You fucking talk and I will tear your godddamn windpipe out," Garrus growled, voice flanging heavily. He shook the batarian for emphasis. "You did a really bad thing when you tried poisoning Commander Shepard."

The crowd reacted to the name even more than the batarian did. The batarian just blinked his many eyes and watched Garrus sullenly. "You mean I didn't kill her? Too bad," he hissed.

Garrus wasn't sure he had ever felt the rage that he felt not. He gripped the batarian's throat tightly between his fingers. "She is worth more than your entire kind has ever been," he whispered harshly. He knew that, later in life, he would probably regret saying these bigoted words; but right now, they felt as sweet as gebdiya candy on his tongue.

The batarian began sputtering as Garrus continued to put pressure on his neck, restricting it more at each passing second. The bar around them grew hushed aside from the pulsing dance music. Garrus wanted to watch the twisted little being suffer until the end – to suffocate, to die a long and agonizing death, to-

The batarian's head suddenly exploded in a mess of gore and blood. Shocked, Garrus turned and came face-to-face with Kasumi. She holstered her gun, a small smile playing on her lips. "Come on, Garrus. You need a shower."

"I was going to handle it," Garrus snapped, tossing the batarian's lifeless body to the ground with disgust.

"Shepard wouldn't have wanted this," Kasumi replied simply. "She would have riled up the crowd and turned them against him. She would have wanted you to do the same – or maybe go to Aria and ask her to take care of it. I haven't known her as long as you have, but even I know that this isn't something Shepard would want on your hands."

"Since when did you know so much?" Garrus grumbled, wiping the pink and red mess from his face. He really did need a shower.

Kasumi tilted her head to the side. "It's easy to know this when no one realizes you're listening. Come on; Shepard will want to see you when she gets up." She turned and disappeared into the throng of bodies.

Garrus sighed. She was right. Shepard wouldn't have lost her control. Shepard would have made the batarian lose credibility. She would have run the murderer out, not lost her temper and killed him in cold blood.

Shepard was better than that. And he should have been, too.

* * *

Author's Note:

FF slowed down a lot this week! Hopefully everyone had a stress-free finals week (I know some authors and readers are dealing with that right now), stress-free work week, or otherwise. :) This chapter's song is "Everything We Had," by The Academy Is...

Leave me some love love in the comments!

Love Love,

E


	5. After the Storm

Chapter 5

After the Storm

* * *

Shepard had awakened with a horrible, throbbing migraine. She stumbled around the med bay without any real idea of where Chakwas would keep a bottle of acetemetephine . She blindly shuffled through drawers on the woman's desk, softly cursing the bright lights and the doctor for choosing now to take a break.

Her hand finally wrapped around a promising white bottle that rattled pleasantly when Shepard picked it up. Shepard squinted, eyelashes doing their damnedest to block out as much artificial light as they could. She made out the word 'aprethinix' and made a face. She wasn't sure what that was, but she had a feeling the last thing she wanted to do was start sampling from unknown bottles.

Tossing the bottle back in the drawer, and then wincing at the noise it made, she went back to her search. She ran across a few of the ship's reserve of tampons and muscle relaxants, but no acetemetephine.

"You can get the worst cramps in the world and Chakwas has got you covered," Shepard grumbled, "but heaven forbid you get a headache. That is just way too bad for you..."

Shepard decided she was going to do the next best thing - get herself up to her room where she could control the light panels and toss a blanket over the fish tank. Darkness and sleep would have to suffice -

The door opened and a petty officer - Fuller? Folken? - stepped in. He looked surprised to see Shepard up and about and quickly dropped what he was carrying to salute her. "Ma'am, I'm sorry, I was told you'd be asleep-"

Shepard waved him off. "At ease; I was just going up to my room. Chakwas isn't in, if that's who you were looking for...?" Shepard made it a question, glancing down at the sheets and towels he had dropped on the floor.

The petty office looked sheepish. "XO Lawson ordered me to wash all of med bay linens, fold them neatly, and then put them away in the drawers here." He nodded toward the low row of drawers against the wall.

Shepard raised an eyebrow but quickly decided that was not a good idea - a sharp stabbing pain began taking up residence above her brow. "Why would XO Lawson make you do laundry? Didn't we just have everything cleaned a few days ago?"

The petty officer -Shepard cursed her headache for making her brain forget his name- looked uncomfortable. "Well, uh, since you were laid up yesterday, a few of the guys and I, um, well we decided we could have a few hours shore leave?"

Shepard smiled weakly. "That's it?"

The boy's face became red. "Well... I suppose, sparing unfavorable details, yes."

Shepard shook her head. "Cerberus expects the best of their crew. You guys get a bad enough rap as it is without making fools of yourselves in front of others... is that about what Miranda said?"

The petty officer was attempting not to smile. "Yes, ma'am, I'd have to say that was a pretty accurate rendition. Yours sounded much nicer, though."

Shepard shrugged. "I was your age once. I remember what shore leaves could be like. We weren't all engineered to be perfect, after all," she added blithely. Remembering herself, she added, "Don't tell Miranda I made fun of her, though, or I'll make you scrub the brig with a bootlace. It's even harder than it sounds."

His face broke into a grin. "She has Ensign Davids down there right now. I think she was nice enough to give him a toothbrush, though." He saluted her again, still smiling. Shepard dismissed him with her own short salute and moved toward the door, which dilated at her presence. Before she made it through the door, though, the petty officer called out, "Ma'am, I just want to say how glad I am that you agreed to help us. I know you're not Cerberus and all, but... it's good to know you're helping us when we need it most."

Shepard watched the boy as he quickly stooped to pick up the linens he had dropped. She smiled softly; she wanted to give him words of encouragement, words that filled him with that infectious brand of surety he seemed to be looking for. But what words could she offer? She had signed onto this known that there was a large chance that she was going to fail, bringing everyone else along with her. There was so much riding on each and every one of them; even this boy.

"Keep your chin up, even when it doesn't look like there's a light at the end of the tunnel," she said simply. That was all. She turned and began her trek toward the elevator, shielding her eyes from the blinding Normandy lighting.

...

She had taken a hot shower in the dark and redressed in a black tee and lounge pants. She then pinned the heavy comforter up over the fish tank to block out its violent light. Finally she was still sprawled across the bed, a pillow over her face. Just as she was beginning to drift into a blissful state of unconsciousness, the door opened. Thanks to her migraine, the sound of soft rubber soles moving toward her was magnified. From all of Shepard's time in Chakwas' care, she recognized the footfalls instantly. Chakwas was followed by the sharp click of heeled boots - Miranda.

"Shepard, you shouldn't have left the med bay," Miranda drawled. "You could have had some kind of adverse reaction to the poison or-"

"Miranda, I can see to my patient just fine if she would rather be here in her quarters," Chakwas said curly, moving over to Shepard's side. "May I remove your pillow, Shepard?"

Shepard groaned softly. "Sure."

Even though there was next to no light in her cabin, Shepard winced as the pillow was lifted away. "It's just a migraine. I tried looking for a pain killer in your office," she added.

Chakwas made a noise in the back of her throat. "I know. I saw the destruction of the drawers and figured you were on a mission for something." Chakwas fiddled with something in the bag she'd brought along with her. "Miranda, could you bring the cabin lights up a bit?"

In a moment, blinding light flared through the room. "Take your time to acclimate to the lights before opening your eyes," Chakwas murmured. "Once you are feeling up to it, open them. I have a few tests to run."

Shepard took her up on that. About five minutes passed before the commander was able to open her eyes. "Alright, let's get this over with," Shepard moaned, pulling herself into a sitting position.

Chakwas was holding a penlight and shined the bluish light onto the bridge of her nose. "Follow the light, Shepard. Let me know if it's hard to focus."

As Chakwas moved the light from side to side, up to down, Shepard followed it. "Everything seems normal," Shepard murmured.

Chakwas nodded. "That's good. Miranda is going to try some reflex exercises with you now." Chakwas took a small blue ball out of her satchel and tossed it to Miranda. The woman grabbed it effortlessly, tossing it from hand to hand.

Shepard made a noise in the back of her throat. "This headache is killing me. Do you have some acetemetiphine in that wonder bag of yours?"

Chakwas smiled softly. "We need to make sure you don't have any neural damage first, Shepard. We wouldn't want any adverse reaction to medication." She nodded toward Miranda. "Try to keep up with the ball. Catch with your left hand first, if you'd please."

Miranda tossed the ball lightly and Shepard caught it easily in her left hand. She tossed it back with a bit more difficulty. A dull pain was building in her left shoulder, making her cringe. She and Miranda passed the ball back and forth, varying speed and distance (as much as her bedroom area would allow, anyway).

"Your left arm is significantly slowed," Chakwas observed.

"It does hurt to move it," Shepard admitted, rotating the shoulder. She almost mentioned that her right shoulder had been stiff ever since her operation brought her back to life, but she held her tongue. The last thing she wanted was Miranda mucking about with her insides again.

"It might be nothing more than the headache," Chakwas said cautiously, "but if I were to guess I would say there was a bit of tissue damage."

"And?" Shepard and Miranda echoed.

Chakwas shrugged. "And nothing, yet. More than likely it was very slight damage and your body will work itself out. Worst case scenario, we have Miranda here take over a corner of Mordin's lab for a while and reconstruct new tissue for you."

Shepard sighed. "I'd like to avoid that."

"Believe me, we all would," Miranda simpered.

"Next test," Chakwas interrupted. She sat down beside Shepard and reached out. "Hand, please, Commander?"

Shepard knew what was coming. She made a face that she was sure only Chakwas noticed. "Make it quick," she sighed, glancing away from her hand.

Chakwas pricked her middle finger, the sting sudden and complete. By the time Shepard glanced back over to Chakwas, the woman was swabbing her bleeding finger. "Quick enough?" Chakwas asked in an undertone, voice teasing. Chakwas knew Shepard's distaste for needles. Really, distaste wasn't strong enough of a word.

"Karin, I still believe you're a bit of a sadist," Shepard returned easily, making the woman chuckle.

"Hold the swab to your finger," she ordered before turning to the small blood analyzer. "It seems as though your blood is clean. There's no trace of the poison in the system. The only side effect that I can foresee you having from the anti-venom would be discolored urine and an occasional strange dream," Chakwas added.

Shepard squeezed the swab around her finger. "Good thing it was too dark to see the discolored urine... I would have probably thought I was dying."

Miranda was still standing calmly, tossing the blue ball up in the air and catching it on its return. Finally, she spoke. "The batarian might not have been the only one after you, Shepard. We need to make sure you don't take any undue risks."

Chakwas glanced at the woman. "You said you spoke to the other patrons and that he was anti-human. I don't believe he knew who he was poisoning, other than it had a human face."

Miranda shrugged. "This has been a very disorienting wake up call for us."

"For The Illusive Man, you mean," Shepard murmured.

"And Jacob, and myself," Miranda added. "For all of us."

Chakwas handed Shepard a bottle of water and a small white pill. "I'll have someone bring up some food so you don't get ill taking these on an empty stomach."

"Acetemetephine?" Shepard asked, already popping the pill into her mouth and swallowing it with a gulp of water.

Chakwas chuckled. "Something much, much better. You won't be feeling that headache or muscle pain at all in a few minutes." The older woman took that moment to turn on her heel and head for the door. "Coming, Lawson?"

Miranda stood at the foot of Shepard's bed, watching her keenly for a few moments. "When you're feeling up to it, come down to see me," she said finally. "I have something I'd like to... ask your help on," she finished lamely, sounding unused to asking for help.

Shepard nodded but stopped the action when a flare of pain laced through her head. "I will."

Miranda turned and strode out, dimming the lights in the cabin as she did.

...

By the time Garrus made it up to the cabin with a tray of food and drinks, Shepard's headache was gone. Her aching shoulders were beginning to subside, too. She smiled at the turian as he entered, noting the relieved look on his face. "Rough day?"

"Rough day and night," Garrus amended, setting the tray on her bedside, scooting the holo-clock out of the way. "You got back about this time yesterday. You must be hungry," he tempted, handing her a plate brimming with very human food. "Gardner wasn't sure what you liked and I was no help there, so he threw a lot fo things down."

Shepard took the offered plate and fork, picking at the items on the plate. She could identify some kind of smoked chicken, macaroni and cheese, sausage links and something purple that looked a lot less appetizing then it smelled. Her stomach rumbled at the moment and she decided to dig into the food. She usually didn't eat much; her metabolism had always been slower than most people so she didn't have to. But right now, she was intent on eating everything on her plate - including the strange purplish thing.

She inhaled the food, much to Garrus' amusement. She handed him the empty plate and sighed contentedly, relaxing back against her pillows. "You didn't do anything hasty, did you?" she asked.

Garrus' expressions were becoming more and more readable. Shepard noticed the quick flitter of his eyes falling to his hands, the way his mandibles seemed to shake against the side of his face. Shepard kept her tone even as she rephrased. "Is the batarian dead?"

Garrus chuckled but the sound was not pleased. "You already know the answer to that, Shepard."

Shepard closed her eyes. She didn't blame him. She knew his temper, she knew how fiercely loyal Garrus was. But he also knew her. He knew she didn't believe in taking justice in her own hands, of working completely outside the system. "You should have gone to Aria," Shepard murmured.

Garrus scoffed. "You think Aria didn't know about him, Shepard? He worked in her fucking bar!"

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "She wouldn't have stood for him poisoning me, Garrus. That would bring a whole lot of unwanted scrutiny on her. She would have stepped in."

"The end result would have been the same," Garrus argued, mandibles clacking against his face.

"But his blood wouldn't be on your hands."

Garrus took a deep breath. "I didn't end up killing him," he admitted, voice sounding defeated. "Spirits, how I wanted to watch his eyes bulge out of his head while I choked him. But I didn't end up killing him."

Shepard's eyes were closed. She didn't look mad, exactly, but there was something there, just below the surface. "Who went with you?"

"Kasumi followed me."

Shepard let out something like a startled laugh. "So Kasumi did it?"

"Yes." The word was said like a curse. Garrus was angry, Shepard could tell quite plainly. She had a feeling the anger was not toward herself, but toward Kasumi.

Shepard sat there for a few moments, completely silent. Her hand moved to fall on Garrus' leg, patting it. "Don't feel so bad. Now I'm not angry with you." Garrus made a noise deep in his throat, not commenting. Shepard took the moment to move closer to him, running a hand over his fringe. "What is it?"

Garrus shook his head, looking down at the bed sheets. "I didn't tell you about my crew. The group I commanded while I was Archangel." He spit the name out, anger making his voice flang heavily.

Shepard rested her arm next to him, rubbing his hand gently with hers. "Tell me."

Shepard watched Garrus as he spoke. He told her of the men he worked with, the group that he was sure would be enough to push Shepard's memory to the back of his mind. "It had worked for a time," he laughed ruefully. "We were doing hard work; but it was good work, honest work. We did what no one else could on Omega. We were stopping the violence in the only way we could on that hellish rock. And then we were betrayed."

Shepard felt her heart plummet. She listened to the bridled rage in Garrus' voice, the way it made his words stammer. She watched the man she respected more than anyone else and realized he had become something different. Something.., darker, harder.

"I guess it just goes to show I can't lead worth shit," he added, forcing a laugh and smile.

Shepard didn't smile. "Garrus, it's just a part of being a leader." She stroked his arm gently. "Sometimes people die."

Garrus pulled away from her and she knew the words she chose were not the magic ones to make the old Garrus come back. The new Garrus, bound by his anger, seemed to rear up against her gently spoken sentiments. "It's easy for you to say, Shepard! You're the best damn CO in the Alliance Navy. You're the first goddamn Spectre! You are a decorated war hero. You are the greatest person anyone could meet," he added, eyes shining darkly, "and you can do no wrong."

His words stung and Ashley's image was forefront in Shepard's mind. "I'm always making mistakes, Garrus," Shepard whispered. "I am always screwing up and making calls that are probably not the best. Hell, I killed Ashley. I killed her. Maybe not directly, maybe I didn't pull the trigger, but for fuck's sake I sent her with Kirrahe. We all knew it was a suicide mission. Hell, I just accepted a drink from a batarian on Omega yesterday and nearly got myself killed - again!" He voice had risen and she took a moment to collect herself. Evenly she added, "I am nothing special, Garrus. When bad things happen, I accept them and I move on. I don't let them change me."

Garrus got to his feet, handing her one of the glasses that had been on his platter. "Orange juice. Gardner made me promise to give it to you."

"Garrus," Shepard sighed, slumping back against the wall. "Don't be like this."

"I'm not being like anything," Garrus said, voice neutral. "You're still not well and I am leaving you to rest."

Shepard slammed her glass down on the other beside table, making Garrus turn his sharp eyes to her. "I am well enough to call you on your bullshit," she said simply. She sighed, closing her eyes. "I'm too old for this lovers' spat nonsense. I'm sorry I got upset. You just...you have to understand, I want our crew to go through proper channels. I want all of us to believe in the laws that govern us. They're flawed, but they're there for a reason."

Garrus nodded curtly. "I understand. But Shepard, now it's your turn to understand. Those were my men. They were murdered on my watch by someone I thought I could trust. I want revenge."

"It won't bring them back."

Garrus sighed. "No, but maybe it will make me feel a little bit better." He picked up the tray, which still had a plate of uneaten turian food and a glass of something green. "Get rest, Shepard. I'll be by later."

As he left, Shepard felt herself call out, "Are we good, Garrus?"

Garrus glanced over his shoulder. "We're good, Shepard. Just...give me some time."

* * *

Author's Note:

This chapter's song was "After the Storm" by Mumford and Sons.

Hope you liked the chapter :)

Love love,

E


	6. New Slang

Chapter 6

New Slang

* * *

Garrus did his best to keep himself more or less sociable at the mess table. A few of the Cerberus crew members had grown very attached to him and often asked for retellings of his exploits against Saren. They were more interested in the stories that included Shepard, of course, but tonight Garrus was steering clear of those topics.

"The Commander is looking much better," Fallen said between mouthfuls of some white mushy stuff. "I saw her this afternoon when she was going back up to her room. No discoloration to speak of."

"I can't believe that batarian asshole," Davids groaned, carving at the strange brown meat on his plate. "Shepard might be our only hope to stop the abductions!"

"Like the batarians give a shit about the human abductions," Garrows muttered darkly, shoving her shoulder-length locks into a ponytail. "They'd probably help the Collectors if they were smart enough to."

Kelly Chambers made a face of distaste. "Nancy, batarians have just as much ability as humans. They've been largely mistreated and misunderstood for so long that I don't blame them for hostility."

Garrows narrowed her eyes at the Yeoman. "You must be joking. You can't be fucking serious right now. Commander just got poisoned by one of those asshats and you're sitting here _defending_ them?"

Chambers was blushing fiercely, eyes wide. "No, no I would never – what happened with Shepard is a tragedy and that batarian needs to be dealt with, but it's not fair to judge them all-"

Garrows tossed her hands up in the air and pushed away from the table violently, overturning a few drinks. "You're disgusting. If you love the goddamn aliens so much, get off a human ship." She then glanced over at Garrus and had the decency to look embarrassed. "No offense to you, Garrus. You're okay."

Garrus' mandibles flared but he said nothing, just went back to the data pad he was analyzing. The table was hushed and everyone seemed to be holding their breath, waiting. Garrus sighed deeply and muttered with as much enthusiasm as he could muster, "Hey, I just work here."

The table erupted into relieved laughter and the humans went back to their food and lively chatter. Chambers offered Garrus a grateful smile and Garrows, who had stood and was making her way toward the elevator, patted his shoulder as she passed.

Garrus fell back into his algorithms, for the most part ignoring the frevun meat on his plate. He was in the middle of a complex series of alignment options for the main guns when someone sat down directly across from him.

Garrus would not have thought anything of it, other than the fact the person across from him was muttering incessantly and at a very quick pace. The murmurs got so annoying that Garrus finally looked up, ready to tell the bumbling idiot to shove off.

Garrus was surprised to finally see the salarian. He had assumed that Dr. Mordin Solus was self-sufficient in all regards, not needing breaks for food or bodily rest. And now here he was with his plate ladled down with the strange, white mushy stuff the humans seemed to like so much.

"-finally meeting you. Thought you were avoiding me. Silly. No reason for strong specimen of turian feature to be afraid of medical check. Likely more afraid of being studied? Yes, yes, this sounds appropriate."

Garrus blinked at the onslaught of words. "Uh… hello?"

The salarian blinked his large, bulbous eyes comically, as if Garrus had said something quite surprising. "Hello, yes, common greeting. Not many communication skills. Most turians skilled orators as well as fighters. Sometimes things get lost between generations-"

"I can speak just fine," Garrus interrupted, much to the amusement of the remaining human crew members. "You, on the other hand, need to give a person a decent break of time to reply-"

The salarian hadn't even paused during Garrus' word. He was still rambling about the importance of sound structure in the home life of developing turian children. "-like birds. Yes, yes, without the feathers. Birds need sharp instruction. Acceptable methods of flight and removal from nest."

One of the Cerberus crew looked up from his food curiously, an eyebrow arched. "You're part bird? Like… a cockatoo or something?"

Garrus made a noise in the back of his throat. "No. And the next person who continues that train of thought will be tossed out an airlock." His tone was threatening but also tinged with humor. The humans all grinned and went back to their food, whispering amongst each other like children.

The salarian, on the other hand, looked genuinely startled. "Sure Shepard would not appreciate loss of crew."

Garrus chuckled, shaking his head. "She probably wouldn't." He got to his feet, feeling another nagging pull of his heartstrings. He felt badly for how his last meeting with Shepard had gone. He hated when they disagreed, but he was damned if he would go back and apologize. He had spoken his feelings; sure it might have been in a heated way that lacked decorum – but Shepard knew who he was. She knew he wasn't some politician, sugar-coating his words.

The more Garrus thought about it, the more he began to feel that, perhaps, being with Shepard had been a horrible mistake.

"I'll see you all later," Garrus said, pushing away from the table. He grabbed his plate of food and his drink and decided to take it up to the cockpit. Perhaps Joker needed some company aside from the blue ball of annoyance that was the AI.

…

"Lady troubles?" Joker asked immediately when Garrus sat in the co-pilot seat.

"Is it a crime to want to check in on the pilot? Make sure he isn't falling asleep at the helm?" Garrus joked, evading the question to the best of his ability. He sipped his glass of fremmen juice.

Joker snickered. "Not like the ball and chain of the ship would let that happen."

Garrus tried to keep the smile from his face, but it was a hard thing to do. "EDI, why does your interface stay up here in the cockpit, anyway? You could just as easily monitor what he's doing from the CIC, or the Med Bay or something."

EDI's interface flashed and her monotonous done echoed through the room. "Mr. Moreau would like to pretend he doesn't do inappropriate things in this cockpit. My physical presence seems to help remind him that I can transfer any and all information to The Illusive Man at will."

Joker scoffed. "Like I give a damn about what The Illusive Man thinks of me. Not much he can do from wherever the hell he is."

Not a beat passed before EDI added, "I can transfer any and all information to Shepard at will."

Joker soured immediately, leaning heavily into his chair, glaring over at Garrus. "And I take it the Commander isn't in the best spirits if you're down here."

Garrus sighed. "What makes you think me being here has anything to do with Shepard?"

Joker groaned, "Well, she just came back from almost-death after being dead for two years. You two haven't seen each other in ages and you're down here, eating dinner with me?" Joker shook his head. "I know I'm good looking, but not even I compete with Shepard's hips."

Garrus swallowed his remark and simply shook his head. "It's nothing."

Joker was oddly silent. When Garrus glanced over at him, Joker had a frown on his face and his dark eyes met Garrus' blue. "Bullshit. I've seen that look before."

"Yeah?" Garrus chuckled, tearing off a piece of his meat and biting down into the rough flesh.

"Yeah," Joker repeated. "On Kaidan right before Shepard ended it with him."

Garrus cleared his throat. "You and Kaidan…talked?"

Joker snorted. "You kidding me? The guy wouldn't leave me the hell alone. Who else was he going to talk to about his issues, Wrex? You? You were practically attached to Shepard's hip even back then. We were all shocked when her and Kaidan…" Joker made a lewd hand motion.

Garrus shook his head. "This is different."

Joker shrugged. "Whatever. Just… think about it. Shepard's a fantastic leader. She was born to command. She's not so great at being a partnership, though. Or so it seems," he added. Another shrug. "I dunno, it's not like I'm there behind closed doors to see it."

"I am, in a sense," EDI chimed in. Joker groaned.

Garrus chuckled, shaking his head. "You ever been in a relationship on the ship?"

"Shit! You _must_ think I'm crazy. First of all, not too many ladies on this ship would have interest in the crippled pilot," he laughed, "and second, why have the drama? I don't love any of them and I refuse to just go joy hopping on the ladies."

Garrus' mandibles twitched. "Joy hopping?"

Joker nodded. "Exactly. My parents might not have taught me too many manners, but they sure as hell taught me to respect women."

Garrus still wasn't sure he understood the phrase joy hopping, but decided to let it slide. Instead he sipped his juice and looked into the empty void.

After close to half an hour, Garrus spoke up. "I think it was too soon. Everything that happened the past two years… it's like she can't fathom that time has passed. That I'm not quite as reckless or as…fun… as I used to be."

Joker nodded. "It feels weird to say it, but you've gotten kinda scary."

Garrus chuckled. "Maybe."

"No, seriously," Joker added, smiling. "You're fucking scary now. Seriously? I've never seen anyone with murder in their eyes before, but damn! That look when you went charging out of here to get at that batarian…"

The two shared a laugh before sinking into silence again. Finally, Garrus said what had been eating at him. "I think I might… love her."

Joker took in a deep breath. "Well, you're shit out of luck. I'm not sure if loving Shepard is even supposed to be a cosmic possibility. Respect her, sure. Admire? No doubt. But that would be one tough woman to love."

Garrus nodded, knowing it all too well. They were quiet for nearly an hour before EDI spoke up. "Garrus, Shepard would like to meet you in the Main Battery."

Garrus sighed deeply. "Well, it's time to …what's your phrase? Face the dancing?"

"Close enough," Joker grinned. "Good luck, big guy. If she gets you in a choke hold, go for the eyes."

Garrus shook his head and collected his dishes, making his way toward the elevator.

…

Shepard was leaning against his console when he entered the Battery. She was dressed in a standard Cerberus uniform, her arms crossed under her chest. Her hair was up in a messy bun, wisps hanging into her face. She wasn't wearing her usual light makeup, but she looked gorgeous.

"I thought you'd come back up," Shepard said softly. Her tone was calm.

Garrus shook his head. "I think we both needed a few hours to ourselves."

Shepard tilted her head to the side. "What's going on, Garrus?"

Garrus wanted to look away – her eyes bore into his, making his resolve shudder. He wanted to do everything that he shouldn't – he wanted to hold her, to apologize, to beg forgiveness.

Instead, he said gently, "I don't think this is working, Shepard."

Shepard's eyes narrowed briefly, as if she didn't understand his words. Her arms unfurled and her tone was a little surprised when she asked, "What isn't working?"

"Us."

* * *

Author's Note:

Please don't throw fruit or vegetables! You guys knew this was coming – you had to! I mean, look at the description of the story! Besides, I think this is much more realistic. Who can seriously get back into a relationship after 2 years?

Don't hate me! You all know I'm a Shakarian shipper… I won't make this breakup too unbearable. (OR maybe I will…. Hehehee….)

Chapter song: "New Slang" by The Shins.

By the way, this is my Batarian smiley. :_:

But I can't decide if I like it as that, or this ::)

The first seems more accurate, but the second seems happier! And I am sure someone came up with those smileys before me, I just happened to think of them… let me feel special for a few minutes before wrecking my dreams, k?

So yeah, this is a weird author's note… mainly because all of my allergy meds are making me loopy. I feel bad for them - the Baratians, I mean (great change of topic, huh?). Batarians never get any love. So throw in some Batarian smileys into the comments!

Love love,

E.


	7. Lesson Learned

**Chapter 7**

**Lesson Learned**

* * *

"Us."

The word hung in the air and sucked all of the oxygen out of Shepard's lungs. She felt a faint flutter of panic, the fear of suffocating. She took a deep breath, careful to make herself as neutral as possible. "Okay," she heard herself saying, so calm and assured. "I understand."

_Do you?_ She asked herself_. Do you really understand?_

Garrus nodded and let out a sigh. "Well, I honestly didn't think of anything to say past that."

Shepard forced a chuckle from her tight throat. "Yeah, not sure what to say now, except… thanks?"

The two laughed awkwardly. Shepard pushed herself off of the console, her muscle pains beginning to flare up in her shoulders again. "I should go see Chakwas… make sure everything came back normal… blood tests, I mean."

Garrus nodded a little too exuberantly. "Right. Have to make sure you're at a hundred."

Shepard stood there for a moment, trying to work out what to say. "If… if I ask you if we're okay, will you answer me honestly?" she finally blurted, eyes rising to meet his.

Garrus' expression softened. "Shepard, we're… we're not okay, but we're on the mend. We're close," he added quickly. "And this won't affect my morale here on the ship at all. You're my commander and I'm your…"

Shepard forced a smile, reaching out and patting Garrus' shoulder. "You're my right hand on this ship and my best friend, Garrus. You always will be." She stepped out of the Battery and called behind her, "Later, Garrus."

Shepard didn't hear the passing group of petty officers call out exuberant hello's to her. She didn't notice Miranda lingering near the mess table, a cup of coffee in hand and a concerned look on her face. Shepard, in fact, didn't notice much of anything as she made her way into the med bay.

Chakwas was at her desk, composing what looked to be an extranet message. She turned to meet Shepard with a soft smile. "Commander. I hoped you would have stayed in bed."

"Just coming to check on the blood tests," Shepard responded. Her voice waivered ever so slightly; it was just a faint tremor, but it made her sound weak.

Chakwas seemed to sense there was something else, but had the grace to ignore it. "Everything looked rather normal, Shepard. I wasn't able to find anything seriously wrong with your blood sample… but I told you that in your room. Was there something else you were concerned about? I can run more tests if there is something in particular-"

Shepard swallowed past the lump in her throat that had formed while she spoke with Garrus. "No, nothing. But my shoulders are starting to hurt again."

Chakwas nodded. "I figured you might be coming down for another pill." She stood and went to one of the medicine cabinets, rummaging between pill bottles. She procured a slim vial of tablets and returned to Shepard. "These are a bit stronger than what you had earlier. Only take one every twelve hours, alright?"

Shepard nodded, taking the vial and glancing at the label. "Dilaudid?"

"It's a pain killer. It's extremely strong, Shepard; you need to make sure not to take more than one every twelve hours. If you need something more, come see me and we'll get a low-dose anti-inflammatory regiment started in addition." Chakwas patted Shepard's back softly. "You need rest. Was there something else you needed from me?"

Shepard was tempted to confide in the doctor, but instead shook her head. "No, that was it. Can I take one of these now?"

Chakwas nodded, sitting back down in her chair. "I would suggest it, actually. It will probably help you sleep. Just remember-"

"Every twelve hours, no sooner," Shepard interrupted with a small smile. "Got it. Thanks, doc."

Chakwas nodded. The older woman looked as if she wanted to say more, but only smiled sadly. "Rest, Shepard. You need it."

Shepard nodded, taking her leave.

…

Chakwas hadn't mentioned the side-affects. Shepard slept deeply, but her dreams were dark. There was blood and pitch-black rooms with no doors. There were sharp things that clung to her skin and tore at her when she attempted to move. Her hair became a noose fashioned around her throat. Her eyes were useless marbles, rolling emptily in her sockets.

When she finally tore herself out of her dreams, she was gasping and covered in sweat, her body trembling. The holo-clock alerted her that it was 10 am. She had slept for fourteen hours.

"Shepard, I show an increase in heart rate. Should I notify Doctor Chakwas?" EDI requested.

Shepard took a few moments to gulp cool air into her lungs. "No, EDI, I'm fine," she gasped, running a hand over her face. Her shoulders screamed in pain at the movement. Sighing, Shepard shakily reached for the pill bottle on her night stand, popping another pill.

"Please alert me if you need assistance," EDI chimed.

"I'm fine," she repeated, more for her benefit than EDI's. She got to her feet and managed to make it to the bathroom before the first wave of nausea wracked her body. She nearly toppled over into the shower while trying to start the water.

Shepard leaned herself heavily against the wall, taking deep breaths and beginning to count to fifty. At forty-five, she found herself launching toward the toilet. She dry-heaved into the bowl, body wracked in shakes.

Shuddering and feeling weak and feverish, Shepard got back onto her feet and turned back to the shower. Turning on the shower, she stumbled out of her clothes. She sat on the cool tiles of the shower floor, letting the water pound down on her and wash away the sweat still clinging to her skin.

"Shepard?"

Shepard glanced behind her and toward the bathroom door. EDI must have alerted someone of Shepard's unbecoming wakeup. "I'm in the shower," she called out, briefly horrified at how gravelly her voice sounded.

"Shepard, it's a transmission from The Illusive Man. He says it can't wait."

Shepard closed her eyes, sighing. Of course it couldn't. "Okay. I'm coming."

There was a pause and the person on the other end called out louder, "Are you alright? Should I come in?"

Shepard thought about that for a moment. Being completely honest with herself, she knew she was going to have a real chore ahead of her; getting to her feet on the slick tiles was asking for a disaster. But exposing this weakness to one of the crew… that was just bad leadership. Not to mention Shepard was not too keen on having anyone on the ship seeing her naked. A silly modesty issue, but an issue nonetheless.

"I'm fine," Shepard called. She was beginning to hate the phrase. She struggled to pull herself into a standing position, clinging to the wall as she did so. She turned the water off with the flick of her wrist before stumbling to the sink counter. She grabbed a towel, wrapping it around herself, and took a deep breath.

The bathroom door slid open and Miranda was there, the same look of concern on her features from the previous night. "Shepard, you look like hell. Did you sleep?"

Shepard nodded, straightening herself up. _Don't show weakness_, a voice echoed in her mind_. Cerberus can't see your weakness. _ "I did. Just still sore from yesterday. The Illusive Man wants to see me?"

Miranda nodded, although her anxious expression didn't lessen. "If you aren't feeling up to a mission, Shepard, I am sure I can lead a team-"

Shepard shook her head. "Thanks, Miranda, but I'm fine. Can you go tell him I'm on my way? I need to get dressed."

"Yes, Shepard," Miranda nodded, turning and gracefully exiting the captain's cabin.

Shepard closed her eyes, fighting the next wave of dizziness. _Get it together! _She ordered herself fiercely, forcing herself to walk to the closet without tripping or stumbling. She pulled on the first outfit she could locate before slipping her armor on over it. If The Illusive Man was calling, there was bound to be a shitstorm brewing.

…

Shepard ducked behind a crate, head swimming and pulse beating frantically in her neck. She felt like she was going to pass out but she refused to do that to her team. Not now. Not while the Praetorian was still swinging its weight around above them, honing in with its particle beams.

Shepard closed her eyes, trying to catch her breath. Miranda's sharp, authoritative voice was over the comm, alerting Shepard that the Praetorian's shields were down and could she _please _shoot the damn thing?

Shepard took another series of breaths before sidling around the edge of the crate and aiming. The Arc Projector shot out a stream of hot electric current, landing squarely on the Praetorian. The thing fell back, buzzing angrily. Shepard lined up another shot, pulled the trigger, felt the kickback. The Praetorian honed in on her, moving steadily closer.

Miranda's voice was in her ear, calling for her to fall back. She heard Zaeed cackling something about fried space crab. Shepard stubbornly aimed for another shot, ignoring Miranda's insistent yell for her to move. _Aim. Trigger. Electricity._

She didn't feel the particle beam at first; her shields did a fantastic job in the first few seconds. Within moments, her shields were down and the beam was cutting into her shoulder. She faltered, fell back, and huddled behind the crate. Her suit quickly dispensed the medi-gel directly to the wound and her shields struggled to repair.

Miranda was cursing heavily and firing her pistol at the Praetorian. The thing was definitely getting close to its end; Zaeed seemed to sense it, too, and pulled out his sniper rifle and aimed a shot, hitting the bulbous monstrosity right in the one of the glowing eyes.

Shepard felt the ground tremble and Zaeed let out a hoot. She slowly pulled herself up, eyeing the fallen creature. "Didn't think the damn thing would ever die," Miranda simpered over the comm, coming out from behind one of the cargo-trucks she had ducked behind.

Zaeed chortled, "Harder to kill it when you're running around in heels."

Shepard was sure Miranda leveled a glare at the merc, which only made him laugh harder. Shepard leaned against her crate heavily, watching as the GARDIAN towers powered to life and began chipping away at the Collector ship's defenses.

The Collector ship managed an escape, just as Shepard expected it would. She barely had the energy to pull herself into a standing position when one of the colonists came out of hiding and demanded they chase after the Collectors.

A little more forceful than she would normally be, Shepard demanded, "What do you expect us to do? We did everything we could. At least we weren't cowering in a damn warehouse."

Miranda looked stunned. "Shepard, are you sure you're-"

"Shepard?" he repeated, brow furrowing. "I know that name."

"Captain of the Normandy, first human Spectre, and savior of the Citadel. You're in the presence of a legend, Delan…and a ghost."

Shepard barely heard the snide remark from the mechanic as her eyes took in the sight before her. She would have been entirely sure she was hallucinating if Miranda didn't look so unsettled. The Cerberus scientist must have known about Kaidan Alenko, as well as Shepard's previous involvement with him.

As Kaidan approached her, Shepard forced herself to move away from the crate, to stand on her own. She now vaguely remembered The Illusive Man mentioning that Kaidan may still be present on Horizon. She had been so immersed in her spinning head and the urge to vomit that she'd barely heard him. Now she wished she'd paid a bit more attention during the briefing.

Kaidan stood before her; he looked older, more severe. She was sure he was going to hit her by the cold look on his face. And then she was suddenly in his arms, his armor cold and refreshing on her feverish cheek.

"I thought you were dead, Shepard. We all did." His words were muffled against her hair as he held her close.

"It's good to see you again," Shepard found herself saying, her voice full of emotion. She wasn't sure if it was relief or sorrow that tinged her voice; only that it was the most emotion she'd shown in a while.

Kaidan pulled away abruptly. "That's it? That's all you have to say? It's been two years, Shepard! You could have told somebody… you could have pinged me…" his voice was getting angry, beginning to shake.

Shepard felt the bile rising in her throat. She'd never liked how quickly Kaidan lost his temper. That was one of the reasons she had decided to end it with him. It seems that his temper had not improved. "This is kind of a new thing, Kaidan. I've been on a lab table for two years. I don't really need the attitude."

Bad choice of words. Kaidan bristled visibly. "Not even a message? Or a ping? Don't you think someone would have liked to know that you were still alive? Fuck, Shepard, I thought we were still close… still friends," he added, looking guilty.

Shepard glanced toward her crew. Miranda was pretending to not listen, instead studying the corpse of the Praetorian. Zaeed was sitting on a crate, blatantly watching them with mild interest.

"You've moved on," Shepard murmured. "You all have. I just… I didn't want to interfere."

"So you joined _Cerberus_?" he asked, jaw set in a firm line. "What were you thinking?"

"_Cerberus_ brought me back," Shepard snapped. "_Cerberus_ is investigating these abductions while your precious Alliance is sitting on their hands! How dare you question me?" She took a deep breath, trying to calm her frazzled nerves and spinning head. "Kaidan, _you know me_. You know how I am. Would I be doing this if it wasn't for a good reason?"

Kaidan shook his head, looking away. "I don't know, Shepard. I don't know you; not anymore. The Shepard I knew would never join a terrorist organization. She would fight with the Alliance until she made them see the truth. She'd go about it the right way."

"And all the while, more civilians would be abducted," Miranda blurted out, hands in fists. "You don't need to trust us to respect the fact that we're out here, trying to help humanity. And where the hell were you while we were fighting these things?" she demanded, hand sweeping toward the fallen collectors, husks and Praetorian.

Kaidan shook his head. "I'll tell the Alliance your story. If they believe it or not is up to them."

Shepard leaned back against the crate. "I guess this is goodbye, then?"

Kaidan nodded. "I guess so." He turned away and went back toward the main facilities; his head was shaking in what Shepard guessed was shame.

Shepard connected to the Normandy and requested, "Joker, come pick us up. I want off of this damn planet."

Miranda met Shepard's gaze and, for the first time, Miranda looked… apologetic. Shepard offered her a weak smile and tried to force the bile in her throat down long enough to get back onto the ship.

* * *

Author's Note:

You all made me so so so happy in the comments with your happy Batarian faces! ::) Not much Garrus in this chapter, but I wanted to get some of the main plot out of the way.

So, how did we like Kaidan? Are we as angry with him in the chapter as we were in ME2? I tried to make it less intense, but… a betrayal is a betrayal, right? And, shockingly, Miranda seems kind of…nice… in this chapter? Always surprises me; I always say Miranda as kinda bitchy with FemShep. Thoughts?

This chapter's song was "Lesson Learned" by Ray LaMontagne. This song was more so chosen for Shep/Kaidan, not Shep/Garrus. Just ignore the first few stanzas when you listen/look at lyrics. (This song is actually about an adulterous relationship; so, as I said, ignore the beginning part that alludes to that!) The rest of it fits very well. ::)

Leave some love love in the comments!

Love love,

E.


	8. The Hardest Part

**Chapter 8**

**The Hardest Part**

* * *

Shepard was effortless. It was something Garrus always admired about her; her ability to push personal things aside and act like a leader. It also made it infuriating to be around her at times, especially when there _was _personal history there.

The stop on the Citadel was a brief reprieve; Shepard had alerted everyone that the ship would be leaving promptly at 0800 tomorrow morning – with or without them. Joker had made a snide comment about being a necessary part of the ship, to which Shepard shrugged a delicate shoulder.

"EDI," she began evenly, "how easily could I learn to fly the Normandy?"

"With your past flight history, I would say you could learn the controls in about an hour and execute a proper, yet unsteady, departure from the terminal. The Mass Relays would pose quite a problem, however if you allowed me control of the ship, there would be a 99.7% chance that we would clear the jump."

Shepard nodded, looking amused. "EDI, what would Joker's percentage rate be?"

EDI was silent for a moment before supplying, "Mr. Moreau has yet to fail a jump, however taking human error into account, one could mathematically deduce that his percentage of error would be 2.47%."

Shepard looked mockingly thoughtful, tapping her chin with a short-cropped nail. "So, in other words, I could learn the controls well enough to get us into space, at which point EDI could take over. So, this means that you, Joker, have until 0900 to get to the ship. How about you save me the trouble of learning your job and get here at 0800, hmm?"

Joker grumbled and sunk lower in his chair, muttering bitterly about the stupid blue ball.

Garrus watched as Shepard stepped off the ship and stood to the side of the terminal, waiting for the crew to pass by her. She offered Garrus a smile as he walked by. "Have fun," she said, no hint of sadness or doubt in her voice. She was just… Shepard.

Garrus attempt to return the smile. "You too. Try to stay out of trouble."

Shepard chuckled. "That's not fun."

"Shep! You ready?" A streak of red whizzed past Garrus and Kasumi was beside her, linking one of Shepard's arms with hers. Kasumi's monochrome black ensemble had been replaced by an identical red one. "I found a killer sale so we can get you out of those droll Cerberus clothes."

Shepard shook her head with a grin, glancing down at the waif of a woman. "Sure. Miranda seemed intent on coming along with us, for whatever reason." She glanced up at Garrus, gaze questioning. Asking if he needed something else.

Garrus had almost asked Shepard if she wanted to catch a vid with him, or maybe an informal dinner. He saw the look of dismissal on her face, in her easy grace, and realization struck him. She had just as easily dismissed their relationship as she had dismissed the weight of his former crew's death. There was a pure cruelty in the way she was able to become completely unattached.

Garrus nodded, feeling wounded in a way he knew he shouldn't have. This was all part of ending a relationship. It wasn't as though this was his first time around the block. Hell, he'd loved women before – all Turian women, of course, but still…

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow," Garrus finally said, realizing he'd been standing there like a bumbling idiot. "Shepard, Kasumi."

Kasumi smiled, but there was a twinge of something at the corner of her lips. Garrus had a feeling Shepard hadn't said a word about their split – probably hadn't even said anything about them being a couple, in fact- but somehow Kasumi had picked up on it. "Garrus, you're welcome to come along," Kasumi offered.

Shepard grinned, completely at ease. "Definitely. The more the merrier."

"Clothes shopping?" Garrus hummed, suddenly amused at the thought.

"Well, clothes shopping, then the latest romance vid, followed by a stop at the salon and then…" Kasumi paused dramatically before gushing, "dancing and drinks at Flux."

Garrus chuckled, shaking his head. "Well, the only part I was interested in was the drinking. Maybe I'll catch up with you all later tonight?"

"Sounds good to me," Shepard smiled, looking pleased. "I can show everyone that there is a human alive who can drink a turian under the table."

Garrus made a noise at the back of his throat. "Please. The only reason you _might _win a drinking contest is because your human alcohol is nowhere _near_ as potent as the dextro stuff."

Shepard rolled her eyes, but her playful smile was still intact. "Whatever you say, Garrus. See you later."

Garrus turned away from the women and began his trek back toward C-Sec. He was interested to see how Chellick was doing (the sour old codger needed a break; maybe he'd let Garrus buy him lunch). And really, what could take his mind off of heartache more than some time with another gruff, hard-to-love turian?

…

"So, Shepard," Miranda groused, "what happened yesterday on Horizon? You seemed… distracted." Her voice was, for once, not judgmental. It might have been the heated facial mask covering her features, or perhaps it was just being out of the ship. Whatever it was, she seemed more relaxed then Shepard thought possible.

"I wasn't feeling too well," Shepard said honestly, watching the slender service bot on her left buff her nails. "It was nothing, really. I just think I might have had a bad reaction to the painkillers Chakwas started me on." She wiggled her feet in the scented, jetted water of the foot bath, watching the rose petals on the top submerge and spiral around her toes.

Kasumi sighed from her massaging spa chair across from Shepard. "You shouldn't be going into the field when you're not feeling well. I know you're better than us _average people,"_ she joked, lips tilted, "but you need to take it easy sometimes, too."

"That's what I'm doing," Shepard insisted. She flicked her toe at Kasumi, sending a small spray of scented water at the girl. Kasumi giggled, splashing her back.

Miranda's voice seemed slightly amused as she grumbled, "You two are acting like kids. Maybe you shouldn't take it that easy; we'd hate for people to think we're not taking this 'save the galaxy' thing seriously."

Shepard glanced at her omni-tool. The interface glowed, alerting her that it was almost seven in the evening. The artificial sky of the Citadel was already beginning to fade to a darker, deeper purple. "Time certainly passes quickly here," Shepard sighed, leaning back in her chair. The service bot had moved on to painting her nails with a clear, protective coat.

Miranda hummed her agreement. "We should really be getting over to Flux. Jacob was planning on meeting us there."

"Joker mentioned he might be coming along, too," Kasumi piped up. "And I think Kelly was going to be spending some time there tonight."

"So was Garrus," Shepard added.

Kasumi's face broke into a large smile. "About that, Shepard…" Kasumi began. Miranda's eyes opened and she glanced over at the pair in interest, eyebrow tilting upward under the thin layer of her warmed avocado-clay mask. "What happened with you and Garrus?"

Shepard knew it was coming. It was bound to happen, what with Kasumi being as insightful as she was. "We just… decided it was best to keep things professional."

"Good for you," Miranda said, reclining again and seemingly ignoring them.

Kasumi let out a sigh. "A lot of us were glad to see you two sticking together."

"Things change," Shepard murmured, trying to end the conversation. "It wasn't working out and we decided it was best to be friends."

Kasumi shrugged but still looked slightly putout. "Whatever you say, Shep."

…

The music pulsed in Flux as Joker finally made it to the club. He took it slow and steady, sincerely hoping that some of the others were already here. There was nothing worse than hanging around the bar alone. It always made people – male humans, anyway- look like creepers.

As he entered he heard a shout directly to his left. He glanced over and saw Kelly – _what the hell was she wearing?- _waving manically at him. Jacob and Miranda were there, as well, engaged in a hushed conversation.

Joker limped over to the group, smiling. "Hey. Sorry I'm late – hard to flag down a cab around here without almost breaking a bone. Oh, wait, that's just me." He took a seat across from Kelly, sure he would regret the position.

"Joker, you look fantastic," Kelly complimented. Her cheeks were flushed with alcohol, eyes glazed over.

Joker offered a faint smile, trying not to grimace. "Thanks, uh… you too?"

"Joker!"

Joker turned and saw Shepard and Kasumi coming toward him, each holding pitchers in one hand and glasses in the other. Shepard was grinning at him and, by the looseness in her swaying hips, he could tell she'd already imbibed a good bit of Flux's best. She was also dressed in a civilian cropped, backless shirt and low-slung, skin-tight pants. A pair of heeled boots finished off the ensemble.

Commander was looking hot, which made Joker very sure that he should keep his mouth shut once the alcohol started kicking in. Especially if Garrus showed up. Friendship went a long way, but the last think Joker wanted was Garrus gunning for him because he couldn't keep his eyes off of Shepard's ass.

Shepard and Kasumi took their seats. Shepard, who was between Joker and Kasumi, began pouring her pitcher into glasses and passing them around. "Citadel Slammer," she announced.

The table livened up after the first pitcher was drained. Kasumi was dancing on the table before long, Kelly catcalling at her; Shepard was drinking everyone else under the table and engaging in arm wrestling; and Miranda and Jacob were getting a little closer than professionally advisable.

It was probably the best night out Joker had been a part of in a long time.

And then Garrus strolled up with his own drink. The turian was telling jokes and making everyone – even Shepard – laugh. And then he sat down – right next to Kelly. Kelly took this as a good sign and proceeded to drunkenly hang over the turian's arm.

And Garrus let her. Although not happily; Joker could see by the set of his jaw and how his mandibles flared that he was beginning to lose his temper. He slowly tried extracting himself from the inebriated human, but she only clung tighter.

Joker glanced over to Shepard and was shocked to see her watching in amusement. Garrus met Shepard's eyes and mouthed _help_ as clearly as his face plates would allow. Shepard chuckled and said, "Kelly, why don't you take Garrus out to the dance floor? I hear he's a fantastic dancer."

Garrus' glare was so hot that Joker almost held in his laughter. Almost. "I don't think-" Garrus began.

"Okay!" Kelly grinned, grabbing Garrus' hand and pulling forcefully out toward the dance floor.

Kasumi giggled, hopping off of the table and tugging Shepard's arm. "Come on, we said we would dance!"

"You said _you_ would dance," Shepard corrected, sipping from her glass.

Kasumi sighed. "Shepard, stop being a hard ass!"

Shepard snorted back laughter and got to her feet, turning to glance at everyone else. "Come on, let's all go dance so Kasumi will be happy."

Joker held his hands up defensively. "Sorry, I'd rather not snap my back. Gotta fly the ship and all."

Miranda and Jacob also seemed to be too immersed in tonsil hokey to pay any attention to the request. Taking that as a sign of dismissal, Kasumi dragged Shepard to the dance floor. The girl in red then proceeded to show off her lithe, contortion-like moves.

"Wow!" Kelly shouted over the music. "Kasumi, if you ever wanted to become a dancer you'd be a natural!"

Kasumi smirked under her hood. "Who says I haven't been already?"

Garrus seemed to have loosened up a little and was moving along with Kelly; albeit, he did cringe every time the girl brushed against him. He glanced over at Shepard helplessly, as if begging her to step in. Shepard shrugged good-naturedly, grinning, and continued to shuffle in place.

"Shepard, I thought alcohol would loosen you up!" Kelly shouted.

"Shepard can't dance to save her life!" Garrus returned. He was probably trying to get back at her for making him dance with the flirty human.

Kasumi giggled. "Shepard, I find it impossible that you can't dance. I think you're just being stubborn." The girl grabbed Shepard's waist and pulled her in close, their bodies flush against one another.

"Kasumi-" Shepard began, her eyes widened.

Kasumi only laughed. "Follow my lead, Shepard, and quite acting like I'm trying to rape you. You're not my type, you know."

The girls swayed together and slowly Shepard's uneven gait began to smooth. She was still nowhere close to dancer-worthy, but there was improvement. It wasn't long before Kelly butted in. "Kasumi, dance with me?" she called over the pulsing music.

Kasumi grinned. "Sure! Shep, keep Garrus company!"

Shepard glanced up at Garrus, raising an eyebrow. Garrus shrugged and tilted his head toward to bar. "How about a drink? I think I am better suited for the bar than the dance floor."

"Sounds fantastic," Shepard admitted, leading the way toward the bar. The two ordered their drinks, which Shepard paid for without a word. She turned to Garrus and murmured, "I think Kelly's gotten attached to you."

Garrus snorted into his drink. "Well, that was before Kasumi wowed her with those moves. I think I'm free from her advances tonight. Humans are much more limber than turians."

Shepard smiled, sipping her Batatrian Shuttle Bomb. "True. But turians have other things going for them."

Garrus chuckled, shaking his head. "I've missed this. Talking with you."

Shepard tilted her head to the side. "You know you can still talk to me, Garrus. I won't bite."

Garrus shook his head, "You know what I mean."

Shepard looked as though she would deny that. She took a thoughtful draft of her drink before nodding slowly. "I do know what you mean." After a few moments of silence, she added, "Breaking up sucks."

Garrus laughed, surprising himself with his amusement. "I think I can drink to that." And just like that, the Commander and her turian companion were friends again.

* * *

Author's Note:

They make it look so effortless! This chapter's song was "The Hardest Part" by Coldplay.

I apologize a million times over for my lack of posting the past few weeks. I've had a mini-medical crisis, my husband is in the middle of changing careers, and I am beginning to seriously HATE Seattle weather (Come on, it's the middle of June… why are we _still_ stuck with 50 degree weather and rain?).

The next chapter is going to fast-forward a bit. I'm sick of sitting stagnant. Let's go get Thane (yippee!) and Samara (bleh…) and Tali (double yippee!)! I will apologize in advance to any Samara lovers… I can't stand her. I am sincerely thinking Shepard might pick Morinth in this story; that is how much I dislike Samara.

Also, weird request – does anyone want to make a fantastic cover art for this story and/or The Bucket List? I don't really know what I can give as a prize – maybe a special one-shot written for you and only you? Last time I got art done for one of my stories (Bonfire of Dreams), the artist requested I write out her favorite chapter, by hand, and send it to her. XD Which I can do that, too! Seriously, though, whatever you want (story wise, I mean; no expensive cars or houses or mail-order-brides), I can do it! ::)

Let me know if anyone is interested!

Love love,

E.


	9. Prickly Thorn, But Sweetly Worn

**Chapter 9**

**Prickly Thorn, But Sweetly Worn**

* * *

"Shepard! Three-o-clock; ramparts!"

Garrus felt his adrenaline rushing as Shepard whirled out of cover, her sniper rifle targeting expertly on the parapet of the tower. The Eclipse guard fell from her high perch, Shepard's incendiary round causing a blossom of flame to lick the flailing body. Shepard was covered again; Garrus could see, even from his distance and her distorting visor, that she was grinning.

"Thanks, Garrus," Shepard breathed over the comm, loading up her rifle with another round.

"Don't mention it," Garrus chuckled, amused by the fervor in her voice.

"How's about you focus on helping me take out these bloody turrets?" Zaeed called snappishly from his vantage point ahead of them.

Shepard was laughing over the comm as she shifted into her cloaking mode, going incognito. Garrus watched as her shimmering form moved quickly and unseen further toward the Dantius Tower. She ducked behind a small crate just as her cloak faded; she wasted no time in aiming her submachine gun at the closest turret and firing off a burst of rounds. The turret seemed to disintegrate under the volley of bullets.

"I softened it up for ya," Zaeed countered snappishly. Garrus could tell the grizzled mercenary was impressed, however. The old merc offered Shepard a brief nod of his head as congratulations.

Garrus targeted the last turret, pulling the trigger. The shot was a bit off, though, and pierced the gun directly on one of the spindly legs. It teetered but kept firing, sending a wave of sporadic gunfire over the bridge. Shepard and Zaeed were cursing, ducking low in attempt to not get hit. Garrus sighed, shaking his head. That didn't work out the way he planned.

Shepard made quick work of the gun by sending a full-powered Overload at it, sending the machine into a twitching fit before it exploded. Shrapnel flew from the gun and, from the sound of screams inside the tower, it sounded like a few mercs died along with it.

"Move up, stick to cover," Shepard warned over the link, her voice barely more than a whisper. "We won't know what's inside 'til we get there."

"I counted about five of them blue bastards that we ain't killed. Bound to be more of 'em," Zaeed added brusquely. "No doubt they'll try an' pick us off on the bridge."

Garrus sighed. "I hate bridges."

The three moved quickly and quietly, pausing only to duck behind cover and make sure more Eclipse weren't about to rain down on them. They made it to the stairs leading up into the heart of the towers. Shepard held her fist up, calling for them to stop. She glanced back, making eye contact with Zaeed and then Garrus. She offered them both a smile before ducking her head around the corner to peek up the stairwell.

A barrage of biotics flew from above. Shepard drew herself back just in time, her chest heaving from adrenaline. "At least seven," she said over the comm. "There are some hidden around the left lip of the stairs. Garrus, get your Overloads going to get their shields down. Zaeed, I need some grenades up there to clear me a path."

Garrus nodded and moved toward her position at the entrance of the stairs. He ducked low, brushing against her armored legs, and glanced around the corner. She was right - all Legionnaires. And they were all pissed. He tossed an overload at them before ducking back into hiding before their biotic slams and bullets could reach him. Shepard leaned over him and tossed her own overload into the mix, letting off a few rounds of her submachine gun.

Garrus knew her shields were down. He felt the telltale stumble of her body against his back. Using his weight, he bodily tossed Shepard back behind the edge of the stairs, almost hitting Zaeed. The merc grabbed her, holding her up while her shields recharged. He muttered something about being 'goddamn reckless,' before lobbing two grenades up and over the parapet.

The blasts shook the entire building. Garrus let ten seconds pass, hoping the dust had cleared, before chancing another glance. He didn't see any of the Eclipse standing, but that didn't mean they were dead. Garrus holstered his rifle, pulling out his pistol and reloaded it. He glanced back to Zaeed, who was still holding Shepard's weight. "I can't see anything, Shepard."

Shepard grimaced, pulling herself up into a standing position. A flicker of blue illuminated her blood-red armor; shields were back. She grabbed her own pistol and let out a short, clipped breath. "All right. Cover me."

Before Garrus could tell her that infiltration was a stupid idea when she didn't know what was around the corner, Shepard's cloak kicked in and she went incognito. She graced up the stairs silently, hopping over a line of crates the previous Legionnaires had been using as cover. "I've got three still alive, hidden around the left lip. I can take them," she added in a soft undertone.

Garrus felt his mandibles flailing. "Don't be stupid. You can't take on three Legionnaires-"

Two shots rang out, and then another three. There was complete silence for a few moments before Shepard came over the comm. "This section's clear. Come on up."

Garrus narrowed his eyes but did as he was bade. He stepped up the stairs, looking at the carnage around them. So many young, fresh-faced asari...dead. He met Shepard's eyes, which were bright and clear in only a way battle made them. "That was really stupid, Shepard."

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "They were half dead already. The overloads and grenades did most of the work; they were so disoriented they couldn't even stand up, let alone kill me."

Zaeed kicked an asari body out of the way of his path and muttered, "You two ever shut up? Let's get this damned assassin and get the hell off of Illium. This place sets my teeth on edge."

Shepard nodded and took her place at the helm of their entourage. Without another word, they pressed on.

...

Shepard wasn't sure what to make of the drell. He was nice enough; polite and reserved. The fact that he was dying, and seemed so at ease admitting it, was another thing that threw Shepard for a loop. Why would The Illusive Man send a dossier of someone who was at death's door?

_I guess they are more likely to commit to a suicide mission, _she mused, pulling her hair into a ponytail and frowning at the tresses in her mirror. She sincerely needed a haircut. This was _so_past Alliance regs...

A pang shot through her chest. Alliance regs. Alliance regs which she didn't have to adhere to anymore. She was Cerberus now. She was labeled a traitor, a deserter, a terrorist...

Shepard let out a deep breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. She grabbed the pill vial on her sink, eyeing the painkillers Chakwas had given her. She couldn't remember if she'd taken one before her shower this morning or not. She retraced her steps, but everything seemed fuzzy, dream-like.

Shepard sighed, opening the pill bottle. Chakwas' warning of not taking more than the recommended dose filled her mind. Shepard took out a single pill, putting it in a swath of toilet paper and sliding it into her pants pocket. If her shoulders started acting up in a few hours, she could take the pill then.

Shepard rode the elevator down to the mess, which was full to the brimming with petty officers. Miranda, Garrus, Zaeed and Joker were there, as well, eating their respective meals. Shepard exchanged hellos with the officers and Gardner, grabbing a plate of his levo-pancakes and a mug of coffee.

"Commander, ma'am, we saved a spot for you!" one of the petty officers called from the table between a mouthful of eggs. Shepard grinned, walking over to the table and sitting in the offered spot. Miranda, who was across from her, raised her eyebrow at the petty officer but said nothing.

"So, what's on the agenda today, chief?" Zaeed asked, his teeth gnashing a piece of overdone bacon.

"I was thinking that we should try procuring that asari justicar-"Miranda began.

"I was thinking that I was talkin' to Shepard," Zaeed butted in. Miranda sighed, sipping her tea, while Garrus snorted into his bowl of green mushy stuff. Joker was, surprisingly, quiet. He seemed immersed in his omelet to the point of not noticing anything else.

Shepard glanced over at Zaeed, a ghost of a smile on her lips. "I think Miranda is right. We should focus on securing the justicar while we're here on Illium."

Zaeed gave an all-suffering sigh. "Damn, more asari."

Miranda looked at him, something like loathing in her voice. "I am sure they are even less thrilled at the idea of meeting you."

Shepard grabbed the tub of butter an ensign to her right handed her way. She began buttering her pancakes, only to douse them in syrup. When she glanced up, she found Garrus watching her, seeming mystified. "Typically I know better than to be surprised by your kind's food preferences," he began slowly, "but I have to ask... what is that?"

"Empty, fattening carbohydrates," Miranda interjected while taking another draught of tea.

"Commander doesn't have to worry about carbs," one of the corporals further down the table butted in. "She works it all off in the battlefield."

"Good thing, since she can't do it in the bedroom anymore," Joker piqued, earning shocked glances and quite a few muffled laughs. Joker's ego seemed to swell before their very eyes.

"Joker," Garrus growled warningly.

"What?" Joker asked, voice taking an innocent air. "Too soon?"

Shepard rolled her eyes, smirking. "You are so lucky I am not an overly violent person, Joker." The shocked tension at the table eased and Shepard tucked into her pancakes with gusto.

Miranda shook her head before calling, "Alright, I know a few of you have been in here longer than an hour - get to work! This place doesn't run itself."

More than half of the table began to disperse with a few grumbles and giggles. Shepard watched as they all went about their own ways and couldn't help but smile. "They're good kids," she said softly. Then, to Miranda, she added, "I take it you've been in here for over an hour?"

Miranda hid a smile behind her mug. "Well, I'm upper management. I get to break my own rules, you know."

Shepard grinned, but her attention was turned away when a shadow caught her eye. Thane, their newest recruit, had moved into the mess. He nodded a silent hello to Shepard, which she returned, before going over to Gardner's buffet style breakfast. Gardner seemed to be asking for food ideas from the drell while he filled a plate.

Miranda watched the drell from over her mug, as if sizing him up. In a cool voice, she murmured, "Have you decided what to do about the krogan?"

Shepard shrugged, cutting off another bite of her pancakes. "I have been toying with the idea of waking him up. I know you don't think it's a good idea, but... I think I can handle it if things go south."

"At least take backup," Garrus suggested.

Shepard shook her head. "I don't think that would be a good idea. It'd probably scare him, if anything. Besides, how threatening do I look in civvies? If I go in there with gun-toting men, he's probably not going to react well."

Zaeed shrugged, mashing another piece of bacon between his teeth. "Just holler if he gets outta hand. I'm right across the engineering room."

Garrus looked perturbed. "Like you'd be able to hear anything from that far away."

"You're prolly right," Zaeed agreed, seeming unfazed.

Thane approached the table and asked softly, "May I sit?"

Shepard motioned to the empty seat beside her. "Of course. No need to ask," she added with a smile. "Thane, this is Miranda," the woman offered the barest hint of a smile, "and you've met Garrus and Zaeed. This ruffian over here is our pilot, Joker."

Joker grinned. "'Sup?"

"It's a pleasure to meet you all," Thane intoned, his gravelly voice seeming amused. "This is an extremely eclectic group for Cerberus."

"Shepard collects aliens," Joker enlightened Thane, waving his fork for emphasis. "Every time she comes back aboard, she's toting along another volus or hanar."

"We don't have any volus or hanar," Shepard sighed when Thane glanced at her for an explanation. "Don't think of this as a Cerberus operation, Thane. I'm calling the shots around here and I have no intention of treating anyone differently."

"Except Garrus," Joker added quickly.

Miranda tossed a rolled up napkin at Joker's head and Garrus stood abruptly, mandibles flaring. "Permission to throw him out the airlock?"

Shepard covered her eyes with a hand, shaking her head. "Permission denied, for now." She moved her chin to her upturned palm and met Joker's amused gaze. "Enough is enough, Joker. Stop."

"Alright, alright, sheesh," he quipped, hands up in a surrendering motion. "I can tell when my brand of humor isn't appreciated!"

"I doubt it, seeing as you never shut the hell up," Zaeed grumbled.

"I have ten retorts in mind, Zaeed, but you know what? I will be the bigger man and walk away, just for you."

"Try not to break anything," Miranda purred.

Shepard glanced over at Thane, who was watching the going-ons with a small smile. "Sorry about this," she said in an undertone. "Typically I try to keep them all at least a floor apart at all times for obvious reasons."

Thane chuckled, the sound throaty. "I find it very… entertaining. It has been a long time since I have been able to enjoy the company of ones as…lively… as these."

Shepard smiled, patting his shoulder as she got to her feet. "I think you'll fit in just fine, Krios."

Thane nodded, his gaze seeming far-off. "I believe I will, Commander."

* * *

Author's Note:

YAY! Thane! I love Thane; he's such a cool character.

This chapter's song is "Prickly Thorn, But Sweetly Worn," by The White Stripes.

I have decided that CommanderHawke667 is a genius. Hawke reminded me that, hello, I can do whatever the heck I want to do! Like, for example, not recruit Samara and instead pick up Liara after the Shadow Broker mission. Soo, that's what we're going to do. ::)

Leave me some love love in the comments!

Love love,

E.


	10. Your Bones

**Chapter 10**

**Your Bones**

* * *

Shepard braced herself against the anxiety that was budding inside her. She had known very few krogan in her time, and only one of them had ever been decent to her. She wasn't sure how this tank-bred was going to react to be awoken from its slumber by a human.

"Shepard, the seals have been removed. The console, and consequences, are yours," EDI said softly. She sounded detached, although Shepard sensed a level of unease as well.

She stepped toward the tank, looking in at the krogan. She pulled up the console and typed in her access code. The console flickered green and the word 'Purge?' flittered across; Shepard pressed her thumb to the controls, confirming the purge.

The tank's lid lifted up and the bio-fluid inside rushed out and onto the floor. Shepard jumped back as the krogan fell forward onto the ground, spitting up the pseudo-amniotic fluid. Shepard stood idly in front of him, her boot soles squelching in the wet substance on the ground. She waited patiently, trying to keep her breathing even.

After a few long second, the krogan glanced up and caught sight of her. She knew immediately, right as the krogan's eyes locked onto hers, that she was in trouble. She had just enough time to grab the pistol tucked into the back waistband of her jeans when the krogan charged.

The air whooshed out of Shepard's lungs as she was slammed into the metal bulkhead. The krgoan's arm was secured at her throat and he seemed unaware, or unconcerned, about the gun at his stomach. The krogan leaned forward, sniffing the air around her, like an animal would.

"Human. Female. Before you die, I need a name," he intoned, voice deep and gravelly.

Shepard regarded the krogan calmly, attempting to keep her pulse from shooting through the roof. "I'm Commander Shepard, Captain of the Normandy."

"Not your name," he spat, pressing harder against her throat. Shepard was sure he clavicle would break if he put too much more pressure. "I'm trained. I know things. But the tank… Okeer couldn't implant the connection. His words are hollow… warlord, legacy, grunt…grunt… Grunt was among the last. It has no meaning. It will do." He seemed resolved in this fact, in naming himself. "If you are worthy of your command, Shepard, then prove it and challenge me."

"You want me to kill you?" Shepard asked, keeping her voice level. "I have no intention of killing you."

"Want?" Grunt repeated, as though tasting the words. "I was born to fight. To find the strongest. Nothing in the tank ever asked what I want. I feel nothing for Okeer, or his clan. Without a reason to fight, one battle is as good as any other. I can start with you."

"Grunt, I have a strong ship, a strong clan. And we're going up against the most formidable opponents the galaxy can throw against us. Opponents that are a threat to all organic life. You will get your share of blood."

Grunt seemed to think on that for a few moments before nodding. "I see. You speak well, human. I will let you live – for now."

"I'm glad you saw reason," Shepard smiled softly, eyes glancing down toward where her gun rested.

Grunt followed her gaze and let out a hearty laugh when he noticed the pistol. "You offer companionship with one hand and arm the other. I think I might begin to like you, Shepard."

…

"What the hell happened here?" Shepard muttered in an undertone, taking in the completely destroyed police station. Officers and detectives were trying to put the place back together, but it was going to take a lot of time.

"Who are you? Who the hell let these three in?" an asari in a black body suit called angrily, hopping over an upturned desk.

"I'm Commander Shepard. I was told that I would find the Justicar here."

The look that passed over the asari's face was like death. "You're about two hours too late. We were holding her here in order to keep her from tearing Illium apart looking for her fugitive. The arresting officer is over there."

Shepard followed the asari's finger to a misshapen body that seemed to have been biotic-slammed into the wall with enough force to liquefy bone.

"Holy shit," Kasumi exclaimed, sounding sincerely startled.

"No kidding," the asari before them sighed. "Detective Anaya… she was one of our best. But when the call came down to take in a Justicar… we all knew it would happen. We just didn't realize Anaya would have put up enough of a fight to nearly level the building."

Miranda's eyes went downcast. "Shepard, if we had come here first, instead of going to save my sister…"

"We didn't know," Shepard said softly. "There was no way we could have. Don't worry about it, we'll find the Justicar."

"Not likely," the asari sighed, sitting heavily on a fallen medigel dispenser. "She took out a local batch of Eclipse mercs an hour ago and must have found the information she was looking for about her fugitive. She skipped Illium on her ship about thirty minutes ago. There's no way you're going to be able to track her down. She could be anywhere by now."

"Shit," Miranda intoned under her breath, turning on her heel. "This is pointless," she grumbled. "If you don't mind, Shepard, I'm going back to the ship. I want off this planet."

Shepard nodded, watching the woman leave. She understood that Miranda felt this was her fault. Shepard glanced over to Kasumi and sighed. "Well, I guess it's time to check in with an old friend."

…

"Shepard!" Liara exclaimed brightly, glancing up from her desk. "It's always a pleasure to have you by. What can I assist you with?"

Shepard sat down on the other side of the desk, Kasumi choosing to hang back. "I was actually coming to see if you have any further information on the Justicar that was here."

Liara frowned. "I heard that she had left Illium on an unlicensed craft, headed for the mass relay. Other than that, I'm afraid I cannot help until she makes contact elsewhere."

Shepard nodded, leaning back in the chair. "I expected as much. I guess I missed my window of opportunity with her."

Liara looked troubled. "I'm very sorry, Shepard. If it's any consolation, I've heard that Justicars make horrendous travelling companions."

Shepard offered the young asari a faint smile. "That makes me feel a million times better." She then remembered something. "Liara, Cerberus forwarded me information on the Shadow Broker. They know you've been trying to track him down and wanted me to pass it along to you. Perhaps you would like our help on it?"

Liara looked thrilled. "Yes, definitely. Please, send it to my omni-tool. My work terminal is secure, but at the same time it is not private." Her eyes flickered to the door, most likely the assistant outside of them.

Shepard forwarded the message over to Liara, who pulled it up swiftly. "It looks like a conversation between two of the Shadow Broker operatives. Possible locations of the Shadow Broker and…"

She broke off, eyes swimming with excitement. "Shepard, this is what I needed. I need to go back to my apartment so I can analyze these fully. You can check my terminal for anything useful on the Justicar in the meantime. I'll be in touch when I find something?"

Shepard moved toward the terminal, glancing over the streams of data. "Is it alright if we come by your apartment in a bit? We can go over everything there and plan our next move."

"Certainly. I'll ping you the address," Liara smiled. "And Shepard… thank you."

…

Shepard cracked her knuckles, watching the massive bulk of the Shadow Broker as he cloaked himself in an energy field. She had to admit, this was not how she pictured this mission going down. Between the double-crossing Spectre that nearly killed Liara (twice) and the yahg Shadow Broker, things had pretty much worked out exactly how she had not planned. Kasumi lay unconscious under a broken piece of wall, her hood askew and her lips parted. It was just Shepard and Liara against the behemoth.

And now Shepard was about to attempt to punch this eight-foot yahg to bring down his barrier.

Well, there was always a first time for everything.

Shepard launched herself toward the beast, pummeling her fists into the monstrosity's bulk. It yelped in surprise, thrashing away from her. Luckily, its massive girth made it easy to catch up to. A few more hits and the barrier was down.

"Shepard!" Liara cried out. She tossed a warp toward the yahg, covering Shepard's escape from his wrath.

Shepard ducked behind a fallen piece of wall, Liara coming to her side. "If you can get that shield of his up again, I have an idea for finishing him off." She nodded toward the ceiling. A glass dome of pure, harnessed thunder boiled above them, just waiting to be unleashed.

"Got it," Shepard called, grabbing her particle beam and unleashing the hot electricity on the yahg. It didn't take long before the Shadow Broker was limping, covered in scorch marks and lacerations. It growled before letting out a string of vehement curses. "You will not defeat me!"

Its shield was back and Shepard quickly put her gun back on her back, hopped over the debir, and ran toward the yahg. Her first hit was deflected by his shield, but her second landed squarely where a solar plexus would have been on a human. The Shadow Broker screamed, stumbling back, its massive head drooping.

"Shepard, get back!"

Shepard didn't hesitate; she turned to her left and ran, as fast as she could, away from the roiling thunder on the ceiling in the center of the room.

Liara let loose a Warp directly into the center of the glass dome, shattering it. The thunder seemed to explode, crashing over the Shadow Broker and licking through the room. Shepard managed to get heself behind a pillar before the lighting could find her.

The electrical storm in the room was over just as quickly as it began. Shepard, panting, pulled herself from behind the pillar and glanced over toward Liara. She was standing beside Kasumi's form, her biotic barrier in place to shield them from the lightening. The shield slowly faded and Liara, shaking, smiled.

"I can't believe it," she breathed. "We did it."

Shepard grinned. "We did. Now… what do we do with all of this stuff?" she motioned toward the equipment, the screens upon screens of operative information.

Liara's wide eyes took in all of the information and a slow smile spread across her face. "Well… having a Shadow Broker in your corner would be useful, I can imagine," she said slowly, her meaning clear from the look on her face.

…

The restaurant Liara pinged her about was obnoxiously large, grand, and over-the-top. It felt like every surface was either marble or covered in gold filigree. Shepard felt overwhelmingly out of place and tugged on the hem of her black dress.

"You look great," Garrus offered, although he seemed just as uncomfortable in his turian dress clothes.

"You do, too," she offered, giving him a faint smile. "Is there were we share an awkward prom dance?"

"A what?"

"Never mind," she chuckled, shaking her head. "Human joke."

"Shepard! Garrus!"

The pair turned to find Liara gracing toward them, looking breathtaking in her long, white gown. She came up to Shepard first, giving her another hug. She then turned to Garrus, who also opened his arms for an embrace.

"I am so glad you could both come to dinner with me. I would have invited the other crew members, but I must confess I wanted something a bit more private and personal."

"I completely understand. Plus, the bill to feed that many people at a place like this," Garrus began with a chuckle.

Liara smiled widely. "Come, I have a special table for us. Garrus, they have a dextro-cocktail here that I hear is to die for-"

…

They departed from Liara after three hours of eating and drinking. Shepard felt ten pounds heavier and about three drinks over the limit, but she was happy to have spent some time with the young asari. She and Liara had never been all that close on the SR-I, but she was still a friend, companion, and ally. Sometimes that was enough.

"I have a few more calibrations to run," Garrus was grumbling as they made it back onto the ship.

Shepard snorted. "Calibrations? What the hell else can you calibrate? I swear, you need to get the hell out of the battery before you turn into one of the machines."

"Well, what else do you suggest I do?" Garrus asked, seeming amused. "Most of the ship is asleep. I need so little sleep that it isn't even a viable option right now. I already ate and drank a lot, as Liara saw to."

Shepard laughed, her gait a little staggering from the drinks. "Hmm. We could always drink more. And listen to music. I haven't done that in a long time."

Garrus raised an eyebrow. "Music? You never struck me as much of a music person."

"You kidding me?" she laughed. "I sing in the shower. Not that anyone else would ever need to know that," she added. "I wrote a few songs back in my day, too. Nothing big, by any means."

Garrus looked intrigued. "I forgot, you played the guitar."

Shepard nodded proudly. "I did. Not that those are easy to come by, now that everything went to refined machines that never make an error."

Garrus grinned. "Alright, Shepard, you've got a deal. We'll drink and listen to music. I'll go grab the drinks."

"Okay, meet me in my cabin. I think that's the only safe place to not wake everyone else up."

Garrus nodded. "Sure thing. Be up in a bit."

Shepard took the elevator up to her room and made quick work of slipping out of the dress and into a pair of lounge pants and tee shirt. She tossed her hair up in a ponytail and thought briefly about touching up her makeup. She thought better of it, though. _We broke up, _she reminded herself. _No need to get dolled up for a friend._

She washed her face, the makeup coming off easily and leaving her face clear. The scars were fading and almost invisible now, she noticed. She traced one of the lines, feeling the healing flesh where seamed back together. _Everything heals, _she remembered Garrus saying. And evidently it was true.

There was a knock on her door and Shepard quickly left the bathroom and went to the door, opening it. She smiled at Garrus, who was laden down with vials of all different colors. "Well, let's get this party started."

…

Shepard leaned back on the bed, glancing at the holo clock. It was four in the morning and they had listened to three hours of turian and human music from all generations. They had taken it easy on the drinking, so as to maintain a buzz and not get obnoxiously drunk. All in all, the morning had gone very well.

"Sing something," Garrus said suddenly, smiling from where he lay, collapsed, on the foot of the bed.

Shepard snorted. "You must think I'm drunk. I am not singing."

"Why not?" Garrus pressed. "You're telling me Commander Shepard, savior of the Citadel and first human Spectre, is scared of singing in front of her best friend?"

Shepard reached out and playfully slapped his arm. "Yes. That is exactly what I am saying."

"You're a tease," Garrus laughed. "You tell me you wrote music and you won't even sing one for me?"

Shepard sighed, her smile sad. "I don't have my guitar anymore, or else I might think about doing it. Songs aren't any good without music."

"Not true," Garrus argued. "We have tons of a cappella singers on Palaven."

Shepard sighed, leaning back against one of her pillows. "All right," she grumbled, shaking her head. "But you can't laugh."

"I wouldn't dream of it," Garrus grinned, turning onto his side so he could watch her.

After a few moments, Shepard opened her mouth and began to sing. Her voice was shaky, a little rough, but still beautiful to Garrus. It was hard to translate the words at first, but he got better at catching her shaky, gorgeous voice.

"In the spring we made a boat out of feathers, out of bone,

We cast fire to our homes, walking barefoot in the snow.

Distant rhythm of the drums as we drifted toward the storm…"

As she sang her voice grew and steadied, became stronger and sweeter. Garrus watched the look on her face as she sang; with her eyes closed, face uplifted, she looked vulnerable and yet so strong.

When she finished, her cheeks were flushed with emotion. Garrus reached out, taking her hand in his. "That was beautiful," he said sincerely.

She smiled, squeezing his hand. "Thank you, Garrus."

Garrus retuned her smile, realizing yet again that he was still every bit as in love with her as he had ever been. "Don't mention it."

Shepard pulled her hand away, her smile turning wicked. "Now it's your turn to sing."

* * *

Author's Note:

"Your Bones" was the title of the chapter, as well as the song used for Shepard's song. It is performed by Of Monsters and Men.

We didn't recruit anyone! I decided I didn't want to deal with Samara (can't stand her) or Liara, since I couldn't think of a place to put her on the ship where she could bring along all of her SB equipment.

Leave some love love for this one – next chapter: Lets go get Jack (is it bad I forgot about her?) and then Tali, and finally – time for Garrus' loyalty mission!

Love love,

E.


	11. Lost in my Mind

**Chapter 11**

**Lost In My Mind**

* * *

Shepard tilted her head to the side, watching the woman in front of her, seeming perplexed. "You do realize that this ship is going down, right? You're aware that the only way you're getting out of here is with us. Right?"

The woman paced like a caged animal, blue flickers of angry biotic power flickering around her clenched fists. "Fucking Cerberus dogs! I'd rather die here than go with you."

Garrus huffed in annoyance. "Shepard, this is taking too long. Let's knock her over the head and drag her onto the ship. We'll ask forgiveness later."

"I'd like to see you try," she hissed, eyes narrowing.

Shepard took a step forward, holding a hand out in front of Garrus to keep him back. "We aren't here to hurt you or force you to do anything," Shepard said calmly. "Jack, there's nothing I can say that will make you trust me. I just want you to help us stop the attacks on human colonies. After that, you are free to go on your own way."

Jack fidgeted, her right foot tapping anxiously. "All right. But I want unrestricted access to all of Cerberus' databases."

"Done," Shepard agreed. Miranda made a strangled noise in the back of her throat to Shepard's right.

"You better not be pulling my leg," Jack spat angrily. "If you are-"

"You have my word, Jack," Shepard interrupted, reaching her hand out for the other woman's. Jack looked at the offered hand for a moment before reaching out and taking it, shaking it firmly.

"Shepard, we need to go, _now,_" Miranda reminded as another tremor ran through the prison ship.

"Let's move," Shepard called, corralling the others toward the airlock.

…

Chakwas met Shepard in the mess and stopped the commander. "Shepard, I was wondering if you had a few moments? I wanted to do a quick scan and see how those implants are holding up."

Shepard glanced toward Gardner and the food he was beginning to put away for leftovers. She had sworn to herself that she would get a full meal tonight, come hell or high water. "Would I be able to get a plate first?" she asked.

Chakwas chuckled softly. "I am pleased to hear you plan on eating tonight. I took the liberty of asking Gardner to bring two plates in for us. I was thinking I might have to force feed you."

Shepard chuckled and surrendered. "Sure thing, doc."

Chakwas and Shepard stepped into the med bay, Chakwas pulling the shades on the windows. "Have you been feeling alright, Shepard? Any aches or pains?"

"My right shoulder is still tender, and my left has been sore since I was brought back," she said simply. "The pain killers help, though."

Chakwas nodded, grabbing a hand-held tool and scanning it over Shepard's torso. "I am seeing the torn muscle and tissue in the right shoulder. It appears to be healing nicely, though. Your left shoulder doesn't show any damage. Perhaps we should see if Miranda could tweak your implant settings?"

Shepard grimaced. "If it's still hurting next week, I'll have her look at it."

Chakwas shook her head but said nothing. Instead she pulled a second chair over to her desk where two plates were sitting on a warming dish. She handed one to Shepard and began pouring a thick, brown substance into two small tumblers.

"Serrice Iced Brandy," Chakwas said, handing a glass to Shepard. "I had a bottle on the old Normandy. I planned on sharing it with you when you were promoted to Commander, but things happened so quickly…"

"I know what you mean," Shepard murmured, digging into the mashed potatoes and gravy on her plate. "So what's the special occasion tonight?"

Chakwas chuckled. "Why Commander, I am shocked at you. You don't know what today is?"

Shepard swallowed her mouthful of mashed potatoes, looking guilty. "Karin, did I miss your birthday? I'm so sorry, I thought it was December-"

Chakwas shook her head, grinning. "You're right, my birthday is in December. Today, missy, is the third anniversary of you being Captain of the Normandy."

Shepard smiled, looking down at the tumbler. "I was dead for most of that time, though."

"Doesn't matter," Chakwas said brusquely. "You're the Normandy's captain. And a damn fine one, at that," she added, tilting her tumbler toward Shepard.

Shepard grinned, raising her own glass. "To the Normandy and all of her crew. The galaxy would be a mess without us."

"I can drink to that!" Chakwas laughed, clinking her glass with Shepard's.

…

The week had been a mess of stops around the galaxy. Shepard had gone on more personal missions than she had expected; it seemed like everyone had a crisis that needed clearing up before their possible death.

Shepard stepped into the Port Observatory to grab a bottle of wine when her omni-tool buzzed with an incoming message. Shepard pulled up the ping, eyes scanning over the message quickly.

_Vakarian, Garrus: Shepard, I need to talk when you're back from the mission. Can I meet you in your cabin?_

Shepard sighed deeply, feeling the tension in her shoulder scream at her. She'd missed her evening pill by two hours and that damn shoulder wasn't letting her ignore it. Shepard typed a quick message of confirmation to Garrus before ducking behind the bar. She grabbed a bottle of wine and headed toward the elevator.

She needed a shower before anything else. She'd told Garrus to meet her in her room in fifteen minutes, which didn't give her much time to get ready, clean and decent. Shepard buzzed through the cabin like a bat out of hell, tossing her dirty clothes into her hamper in the bathroom and turning on the shower in one daft motion. She took a pill for her shoulder before taking the quickest shower in the history of the Normandy.

She got dressed, pulling on a tee shirt and pair of shorts, and then tied her hair up. She tried to ignore the fact that her eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep and that her left cheek was beginning to break out in stress acne. A glance at her reflection in the fish tank made that impossible, though.

"Cerberus rebuilds me from scraps and yet I am still susceptible to zits," Shepard sighed to herself, shaking her head. She moved to her bedside, using some of the face cream Kasumi had bought for her on a previous Citadel trip. Supposedly the cream did wonders – looking at Kasumi's perpetually glowing, clear skin made Shepard secretly believe it.

There was a knock on the door and Shepard cursed. Fifteen minutes already? She hopped to her feet and went to the door right as it slid open.

"It was unlocked," Garrus said simply as he came in. "Hope you don't mind."

"Not at all," Shepard smiled. "Come on in. I have some wine if you want any," she offered, moving to the discarded bottle on the coffee table.

Garrus didn't say anything. Instead he collapsed onto the couch, looking at her wearily. Shepard put the bottle down again, concern creeping up. "What is it, Garrus?" she asked, moving to sit beside him.

"You remember… when I told you about my previous crew?"

Shepard took a deep breath. "Of course. It's hard to forget."

Garrus was silent for a moment before he murmured, "Look, I know everyone's been asking a lot of you. I can tell you're worn down from it all. But I… I tracked down the man who sold us out to the mercenaries. Sidonis… " He met Shepard's gaze and added quickly, "I'm not asking for your help. I just need to go to the Citadel to meet with someone who helped Sidonis disappear. Do you think we could make a stop?"

Shepard's heart sank. _I'm not asking for your help… _"Of course we can. I'll have Joker make the jump first thing in the morning. But Garrus… I want to help, if you'll have me."

Garrus' eyes seemed to widen and he looked alarmed. "Why? I thought you didn't agree with this."

"It's important to you, so it's important to me," Shepard said with a brief smile. She patted Garrus' knee before standing up. "EDI, could you please have Joker plan a course to the Citadel?"

"Of course, Shepard," EDI hummed.

Garrus also stood, looking uncomfortable. "Thank you, Shepard. This means a lot." He stood there for a moment before adding awkwardly, "You should get some sleep. You seem… tired."

Shepard smiled softly. "You too, big guy." She watched as Garrus shuffled out of the room, her heart twisting as he left. She ignored the forgotten bottle of wine and instead curled up onto her bed, watching the holo clock as it ticked away.

…

"What do you want from me, Shepard?" Garrus demanded. He refused to look at her. "What would you do if someone betrayed you?"

Shepard bit the inside of her cheek to keep for saying something she would regret. She knew he was angry that she didn't let him shook Harkin. She knew he was angry with her about so many things that he'd put in the recesses of his mind. But now the annoyances were boiling toward the surface and Shepard was worried to say the wrong thing.

"I don't know," she admitted. "I just… I wouldn't let it change me."

"I would have said that, too. Then it happened to me," Garrus said, voice softening.

"You don't have to do this, Garrus," Shepard murmured, reaching out and touching Garrus' leg gently. "I get it, okay? I get you're angry, you're hurt, you were betrayed. But do you really, deep down, think he deserves this? Being killed without having an opportunity to do the right thing?"

"I appreciate the concern," Garrus returned, "but I'm not you."

Shepard winced, pulling back. She decided that this was it – this was the test. "Okay," she said softly. "We'll do this your way. I don't agree with it, but if this is what will bring you peace…"

"We need to get moving," Garrus said, still not making eye contact. "I can set up there," he pointed out a shadowy vantage point to their right. "Just keep him talking and don't get in my way." He got out of the car without another word, moving toward his vantage point.

"That went well," Jacob grumbled from the backseat.

"No kidding," Shepard groaned, turning the car on and moving down to the main floor of the parking lot. She parked and got out of the car, Jacob following close behind her.

"Are you really gonna let him do this?" Jacob asked.

"I don't know," Shepard murmured. She moved away from the car and began walking toward the meeting place. She opened up her comm link and murmured in an undertone, "Garrus, can you hear me?"

"Loud and clear," he returned smoothly. After a few moments, he murmured, "I see him. The turian sitting down, at three-o-clock. Call him over."

Shepard made eye contact with the turian and offered a half-smile, cocking a finger and signaling him over. The turian stood and quickly came to her, looking uneasy. "Let's get this over with," he muttered in an undertone.

"Shepard, you're in my shot; move," Garrus hummed in her ear.

Shepard closed her eyes, feeling her morals screaming for her to not back down – to save this man. When she opened her eyes, though, all she could think was, _This is it. This is what he needs to do. Who am I to stop him?_

Sidonis glowered, seeming suspicious. "What is this? What's going on?"

"Shepard, move!" Garrus ordered, voice flanging.

Shepard met the eyes of the turian she was allowing to die, managing to whisper, "I am so sorry." She turned around and began to walk away. The shot rang out, loud enough to deafen. Shepard walked back toward the car calmly, ignoring the screams around her. Jacob followed her silently.

When they picked Garrus up, Shepard said nothing. The silence hung heavily, a thick cowl of remorse and self-loathing – mostly from Shepard.

"Thank you," Garrus said finally.

"Did it help?" Shepard questioned, no hint of emotion in her tone.

"It did," Garrus admitted, although he sounded embarrassed. "It's morbid and I hate to say it, but I think a lot was solved in the simple act of pulling the trigger."

"So you're good?" she pressed.

Garrus looked over at her, watching as she steered daftly though the open skyway. He seemed to sense her mood but said nothing about it. Instead, he chose to answer her. "Yes. There isn't anything clouding my judgment now. I can dedicate myself fully to the operation."

"Good," Shepard murmured, still not meeting his gaze. "Then I suppose it was a successful mission."

The hover car zoomed toward the docking bay, illuminated in the violet glow of the Citadel's skyline.

* * *

Author's Note:

This chapter's song was "Lost in my Mind" by The Head and The Heart.

We didn't make it to Tali this chapter. But next chapter, we're there! ::D

Garrus is feeling much better about things – but what about Shepard? When the hell will these two get their emotions on the same damn page?

Love love,

E.


	12. Nicest Thing

Chapter 12

Nicest Thing

* * *

_A/N: __**Please note: the previous chapter was heavily edited a few hours after being posted**__. Therefore, if you read a chapter that had Sidonis live – go reread the last section of the chapter. If Sidonis departed his body, you're onboard! I wrote it out paragon at first because, let's be honest, this isn't just my story; it's all of ours. I wanted to write something that we could all get behind, even though it wasn't my first choice. But then I got called on it by some fan-freaking-tastic readers, so I made the change – very happily, I might add._

_**Also, to address the question of time**_**… **It wasn't made overly obvious, but I have been skipping time and missions for the sake of not re-telling the entirety of Mass Effect 2. Where we are sitting now, as far as missions go: we still need to go to the Derelict Reaper (we're so late getting to that one!), get Tali, Jack's loyalty mission and Tali's loyalty mission. Then the Reaper IFF, Legion, and … the end. ::)

_So, thank you very much, and enjoy the read!_

* * *

Shepard awoke with a start, sitting up in bed and clutching her chest. Her heart was pounding erratically, like it was attempting to make an escape from her ribcage. She knew the gunshot she'd heard in her head had been nothing; a dream, a figment of memory from the previous night. Even so, it still set her teeth on edge and made her fingers grasp numbly at her sternum.

"Joker?" Shepard said aloud, waiting for EDI to patch the feed over to the flight lieutenant.

"I'm sorry, Shepard, but Joker is sleeping," EDI informed her. "Would you like me to wake him?"

Shepard glanced over at her holo clock. It was only five in the morning; Joker wouldn't be up for another two hours. "No, EDI, that's fine. Are we still docked at the Citadel?"

"Yes, Shepard," she confirmed. "I thought you might be interested to know that Sidonis' murder is being investigated, but no leads have arisen yet. Security cameras during the incident seem to have short-circuited."

"That's convenient," Shepard murmured, having a sneaking suspicion there was a deeper meaning behind that.

"Indeed," EDI agreed, her tone not letting on any other knowledge. "Harkin was picked up by C-Sec, attempting to flee his warehouse. An anonymous tip led C-Sec directly to him."

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "Anonymous?"

EDI was silent for a moment before murmuring, "I believe Mr. Taylor put the call in. At least, the voice records from the call sound similar."

Shepard smiled, shaking her head. Jacob was just as annoyed that Shepard hadn't let Garrus kill the man; he'd made sure that justice would be served, though. "That can be our secret, EDI."

"Yes, Shepard. Was there anything else I can assist you with?"

"Yes. Could you let the crew know that I'm calling for a shore leave today? Have them all back on the ship by 0800 tomorrow."

"Certainly, Shepard," EDI said. "Would that be all?"

"Yeah." Shepard curled back into the pillows, trying to will her eyelids to close. "I'll be resting today, EDI. Could you keep everyone out of the room?"

"Yes, Shepard. Logging you out."

…

She wasn't sure how long she'd been asleep before the pings finally woke her up. Shepard groaned at the omni-tool as it buzzed again, its display lighting up obnoxiously. Shepard rolled onto her back, calling up the interface and checking her pings.

There were three of them.

_Vakarian, Garrus: Shore leave? Someone doesn't feel like working, I take it… What are you doing today?_

The second was a little different; the decrypted message took a bit for the omni-tool to break down, but once it did, the text floated by in a bright red.

_Goto, Kasumi: Shep, where are you? Wanna meet for lunch in Zakara? They have a ramen place – God, how I've missed ramen!_

The third was the one that woke Shepard up.

_Vakarian, Garrus: EDI's your watchdog now? She wouldn't even let me go up to your floor, let alone the door. Anyway, I thought we could try out that shooting range today. Meet you there around 1500?_

Shepard glanced over at her holo clock. 11:15 am. She could still get showered and dressed and meet Kasumi for lunch and then meet Garrus for target practice.

As Shepard got to her feet, a horrible thought flitted through her mind. _Do you even want to meet Garrus for target practice? For anything?_ She banished the thought as quickly as it came, venomously turning the shower on. _Garrus made his choice and you let him, _she thought. _You have just as much fault in Sidonis' death as he does._

Shepard got dressed quickly, throwing on a pair of Citadel civvies – tight black leggings with a tunic-style, blue top that hung like liquid from her shoulders. She dabbed on a bit of makeup and the caught sight of herself in the mirror. She did something she rarely did - analyzed herself.

Her skin had cleared up, thanks to Kasumi's face cream. Her color was looking better, too; probably from Chakwas reminding her to eat daily. And her hair was now past her shoulders, longer than it had been since she was a kid. It fell in damp waves around her face, the color rich and vibrant. And beautiful. Shepard smiled faintly, not used to attaching that word to herself.

Instead of tying up her mess of hair, she grabbed a bit of hair gel and ran it through the locks. She then slipped into a pair of flat knee-high boots, the black leather squelching pleasantly and she quickly moved toward the elevator.

"EDI, I'm going out," she called, feeling silly as she did. What was EDI, her mother? She typed a quick message to Kasumi, alerting her she was on her way.

"Have a good time, Shepard," EDI responded lightly.

…

"Shep, looking good," Kasumi called, a grin tilting her full lips. "I already ordered for you. They were having an amazing special on their bento boxes, so I hope you brought your appetite."

Shepard grinned. "You look chipper. Good drink?"

The pair sat at the long counter of the bar, far away from the other patrons. Kasumi was sipping from a steaming mug, murmuring in pleasure. "It's been too long since I've had authentic green tea. I am so glad Jacob mentioned this place."

Shepard chuckled, waiving over the chef and asking for sake. The man was quick to bring the rice wine and two small cups. "Jacob, huh? How is that venture going?"

Kasumi sighed deeply, leaning back. "I don't know. Part of me thinks he is just being cute in his naivety, but the other part of me thinks he isn't interested in the least and is too thick to realize I'd bone him in a second."

Shepard nearly snorted her wine out of her nose. "Hell, Kasumi! I thought you were happy with your Keiji memories."

"Hey, memories alone make for lousy bed partners. I'm sure you feel the same," Kasumi began gently, pouring some of the wine into the second cup, sipping it.

Shepard rolled her eyes, leaning back in her chair. "No changing the subject, Goto."

Kasumi grinned. "I'm done talking about Keiji and Jacob – nothing new to report. So, tell me how things went last night with Sidonis."

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "How did you even know about that?"

Kasumi shrugged. "Cloaking comes in handy, you know."

It took her a moment to understand the meaning before Shepard slammed her cup down in shock, startling a few other patrons. "You followed us?"

"Guilty," she admitted with a broad smile. "Hey, it gets boring on the ship without you there. Plus you took Jacob. I had to tag along. Besides," she added, finishing off her cup of sake, "you're lucky I did. I can't believe you forgot to disrupt the cameras. Sure you didn't shoot him, but I am sure C-Sec would have wanted to know why you were talking to him briefly before his head exploded."

Shepard sighed. "I didn't think it would come to that. I was planning on trying to talk Garrus out of shooting and Sidonis into turning himself in."

"Oh Shepard," Kasumi sighed. "You're so _good_ it's troubling." At Shepard's look of confusion, she continued. "Look, Shep, I love you to death. You're pretty badass and you know what you believe in. And you're willing to die for the unwashed masses that don't give you the credit you deserve," she added with a small laugh. "But being so strong in your morals… sometimes it means you forget to accept others' beliefs when they're different from yours."

"I don't agree with stealing the Mona Lisa, but I don't hate you for it," Shepard argued.

"Well, that's different," Kasumi began. Their food came at that moment, making Kasumi pause in her speech to thank the chef. Shepard did the same and the pair opened up their chopsticks, digging into the feast of yakisoba, sushi and ramen.

"What's so different about it?" Shepard questioned, picking up a sushi roll and plopping it into her mouth.

"You're not trying to get me into bed with you, for one," Kasumi said simply between mouthfuls. "Here, let me try to explain my reasoning. You and Garrus knew each other before you were a Spectre and he was this big bad Archangel. You two were pretty much just kids trying to make the world better when you met – working toward the same goal."

Shepard nodded, twirling ramen around her chopsticks. "Okay, I get that."

"Well, then you die and things change." Kasumi stopped eating for a moment, looking as though she was trying to work out her thoughts. "Think about this, Shep. What if you were Garrus? You are working a job you don't exactly like because you feel like you can't get results, that you can't make a difference. And then your lover, the person you admire above all else, dies. The person you know, deep down in your heart, that was making the galaxy safer, is dead. How do you feel?"

Shepard swallowed their piece of chicken yakisoba, the delicious food turning to dirt in her mouth. She had never thought about it this way. She had never stopped to reason with what Garrus must have felt. There was no reference for her – there had never been a time without her, or him, in her own mind. "Desolate," she responded finally, a lump growing in her throat.

Kasumi nodded. "Desolate. That might be the perfect word, Shepard. So, you're feeling desolate, abandoned. The job you're working at, where you are over worked, underpaid and underappreciated becomes a death sentence. You leave, going off on your own to try to make a difference. To go somewhere you can operate like a Spectre, not being questioned."

"Omega," Shepard breathed.

"Omega," Kasumi agreed sagely. "So, on Omega you begin to make a dent in the crime and the tyranny. You target the hard criminals, the big fish. And eventually you get a crew. Things aren't prefect, but for the first time they're looking up. You're doing good work and it's showing. Omega's crime rate begins to dip slowly.

"And then you are betrayed."

Shepard closed her eyes, feeling the pinpricks of tears building behind her lids. "I'm so stupid," she whispered. What if that had been her crew? Not just Ashley, but all of them. Kaidan, Wrex, Liara, Tali… Garrus. All dead.

Kasumi reached out, gently stroking Shepard's arm. "We're all dumb when it comes to love, Shepard. It takes constant work and diligence. It's hard work knowing exactly what the other person is thinking if you don't put yourself in their shoes first."

"And I tried to pick right up where we left off, holding him to who he was before I'd died," she groaned.

Kasumi chuckled softly. "Shep, you're not the first person to screw up. Just don't make the same mistake twice."

"He asked me to go shooting with him today," Shepard said, wiping at the faint tears that had built on her lower lashes. She looked at Kasumi's hooded face and admitted, "I'm scared to start again. We're so different now…"

Kasumi poured them both another cup of sake. "Is he worth the effort?"

"Yes," Shepard replied without hesitation.

"Well then," Kasumi began, picking up her cup and raising it to Shepard, "there's only one thing to do. Have fun and get to know him again."

…

Shepard took a cab to the new shooting range near Citadel Security Headquarters. She tipped the cabbie and made her way into the well-lit, gleaming building. Garrus was already there, glancing at his omni-tool.

"Garrus," she called as she approached.

He looked up quickly and smiled, something like tension being released from his brow. "Shepard, I didn't know if you'd make it." He came closer, his eyes scanning over her. "You look…different," he managed, seeming fascinated.

"Confused by the hair?" Shepard laughed softly, shaking out the now dry, loose waves. She felt prickles of unease, of nervousness. She couldn't remember being this unsettled around him since their two weeks on Earth, driving cross-country in a beat-up Mustang.

"I've never seen it that long before," he admitted. He reached out, as if to touch her hair, startling her out of her memories. He pulled back at the last minute, seeming to remember himself. "It's strange, but looks nice from what I've seen of human hair," he said quickly, as if covering up his movement.

Shepard smiled, somewhat relieved to see him as awkward as she felt. "Right. Come on, let go check out some guns." She moved toward the main counter, the scanner quickly picking up her identification. When asked to verify her name for vocal recognition, she stated her full name clearly, watching the scanner flash green.

The C-Sec officer behind the counter typed a few things into his terminal. "Alright, Shepard, we have a positive on your ID and you have clearance to perform in our facility. What course would you like?"

Shepard glanced back at Garrus who shrugged, seeming as perplexed as her. "Uh, what would you suggest for us? We'd like to do a range together, if possible."

The officer nodded. "I have one doubles range open - Omega. It's an obstacle course – takes fifty-five minutes to complete. You shoot the mercs, leave the civilians. Different mercs count for different points, as you can see here," he said, pulling up a holographic scan of the course. Blood Pack, Eclipse and Blue Suns merc animatrons made of ballistic gel moved around the course, ducking in and out of cover.

Shepard glanced back at Garrus who offered her a smile. "Just like old times," he laughed.

The only difference was, Shepard hadn't been a part of those 'old times.' She turned back to the officer. "We'll take it." She transferred the hefty sum of credits over to his terminal. The officer processed the credits before moving to open a door to their left. "Suit up in here – you'll want to change into the custom Kevlar suits. We have some for all sizes, all races. Once you're both dressed, press the red button at the end of the room and the door will open up into your course.

"Gun rack is by the red button. You'll have live ammunition, so please be sure not to shoot each other," he added. The way he said it made it sound like there had been more than one issue in the past. "The animatrons don't have live rounds but they do have small paint pellets. Anyone who doesn't have a paint mark by the end of the course wins three free rounds, redeemable at any time."

Garrus chuckled. "We're good, but I don't think we're _that_ good."

Shepard grinned. "Speak for yourself, Vakarian. I plan on getting those three free rounds."

The C-Sec officer cracked a small smile before continuing, "We are also taping the session; you get a free copy sent to your omni-tool at the completion of the course."

"Oh, guess you can't bluff about getting more headshots this time," Garrus murmured smoothly.

Shepard turned, cocking an eyebrow. "Trash talking already? Cockiness isn't a good look on you, Vakarian."

Garrus shrugged, shouldering past her to look over suits. "Not cocky. Aware of my abilities."

"Live rounds in use, sir," the C-Sec officer reminded with a smirk, turning back to his desk.

…

Shepard's chest heaved as she ducked away from another shot, cursing the geth and their damn Colossus. She glanced back toward where Kal'Reegar was covering her. She was getting sick of this planet and just wanted to get to Tali and make sure she was okay.

"Shepard, your nine - Prime!" Miranda called, biotic slamming a geth into nearby crate.

Shepard turned to her left, ducking out of the way right as the Prime fired a high impact shot. Shepard cursed, cloaking herself and moving around to a different vantage. She covered herself just as her cloak faded out, pulling out her SMG and letting loose.

Garrus was further ahead, sniping the geth close to the Colossus from his cover. "These bastards just keep coming," he grunted over the comm, sounding more amused than annoyed.

"What kill you at, Garrus?" Shepard panted, ducking behind a fallen pillar.

"Fifteen," he answered even, a high-impact shot ringing out through the chaos of gunfire. "Oh, scratch that – sixteen. You?"

Shepard chuckled, sending an incendiary blast at the Prime. The thing finally fell to its knees, mechanics squealing in protest. "I just took out a Prime; I think that should count for four regulars. That bumps me up to eighteen."

"No way," Garrus returned, but he was laughing at the same time. "A kill is a kill – there's no such thing as more points for bigger enemies!"

Miranda grumbled something about talking too much, sending a volley overloads at a dense group of geth coming toward them. Shepard watched as most of them exploded at the contact, leaving only a few stragglers to pick off.

Miranda and Shepard moved up, able to move more quickly now that Garrus was holding the line ahead of them. By the time they joined him, there was only the massive Colossus.

"Shepard, do the honors?" Garrus asked with a grin.

"Sure; that thing has to count for eight," she returned, grabbing her Particle Beam. "Reegar," she called over the link, hoping the quarian had joined their channel, "how about you distract him for me?"

"I'd love to," the quarian returned. Shepard ducked around the cover, letting the Particle Beam work its magic. The hot laser bit into the Colossus' long, arching neck. Just as it began to turn toward Shepard, a massive grenade from Kal'Reegar's launcher blasted into the thing's face.

"Its shields are down!" Miranda yelled over the commotion of mechanical shrieks. "Shepard_, kill it_!"

The Particle Beam was growing blistering hot in her hands from extended use, making her fingers feel like they were blistering through the gloves. Shepard cursed but kept the trigger plunged, the yellow stream of energy boring down on the Colossus.

"It's charging for a shot," Garrus warned. "Get back in cover!"

Shepard bit her lower lip, knowing that if she just held out, if she just kept at it-

Shepard was thrown bodily to the ground, the Particle Beam flying from her hands, as a blue burst of geth firepower shot past her. Disoriented, Shepard turned to find Garrus pulling himself off of her, cursing.

"Damnit, Shepard, do you have a death wish?"

"I almost had it!" Shepard returned hotly, scurrying for her gun.

"You did have it," Miranda corrected, a tone of amusement in her voice.

Shepard glanced up. The Colossus was dead, its long spindly legs folding in around it. The Particle Beam had severed its neck, leaving two halves of smoking machinery.

"Yeah, you got it and it would have gotten you," Garrus grumbled.

Shepard grabbed her Particle Beam, returning it to its place on her back. She offered Garrus a smile. "Thanks for covering my ass. As always."

Garrus' mandibles quivered and he murmured, "Anytime."

Miranda cleared her throat. "I believe we have a damsel to save?" she began simply, moving toward the barricaded door behind the Colossus.

…

It was good to have Tali back, Shepard mused as she entered the mess. Shepard had always had a soft spot for the quarian girl – her innocence was something rare to see, and her determination was stuff most Alliance marines could only hope for.

But, Shepard soon discovered that having the quarian on board was a double edged sword.

"You had better stay away from me or so help me I will rip your face off and feed it to a pyjak!"

Shepard's eyes widened and she ran the rest of the way into the kitchen area. Gardner was backed up against the refrigeration unit, hand help up in a surrendering motion, eyes wide and a startled protest stuttering from his lips. Tali had a finger jabbed into his chest, her glowing eyes narrowed.

"Tali, stand down!" Shepard called as she drew to a stop by the kitchen. Tali stepped back, shaking her head. "What the hell is going on here?"

"This damn Cerberus _boshtet _is trying to kill me!" Tali exclaimed, her voice thick and laced with a tremor.

"It was nothin' but an accident, Shepard; I didn't know she was in the kitchen!" Gardner exclaimed, still up against the cooling unit.

Shepard held up a hand. "Tali, take a breath. Gardner, what happened?" The quarian let out an exasperated sigh, turning away from them with crossed arms.

"I tossed a knife toward the sink, that's all!" Gardner said, his voice rushed. "No one else comes in the kitchen this time of the day – I didn't even have food prepared yet! I didn't hear her, she's so damn quiet-"

"So this is my fault?" Tali spat.

"Tali, enough," Shepard said firmly. "Gardner, thank you. I'll talk with you in a minute." She turned to Tali, taking the girl's elbow. "Come on, let's go somewhere quiet, okay?" Tali acquiesced, allowing Shepard to lead her toward the empty Starboard Observatory. When she got herself and Tali seated, she began softly, "Tali, I know this is tough for you. I understand how you feel about Cerberus. But these people… they're really not that bad."

"Not that bad?" Tali scoffed. "Throwing a knife at me_ isn't that bad_?"

Shepard sighed. "You know that's not what I mean. No one on this ship wants to kill you, I promise. Gardner throws everything into the sink – literally throws_everything._ We're just lucky Cerberus had enough insight to give us reinforced plates or we'd be dealing with broken china every five second." She reached out, putting her hand over Tali's. "It was an accident. Nothing more."

Tali was silent for a moment before looking out toward the smoldering stars. "Garrus seems to be fine with working with Cerberus," she began, something like annoyance in her voice.

"The crew loves Garrus," Shepard said, squeezing Tali's hand. "And they'll love you, too, if you'd give them a chance to know you. To know the smart as hell, shotgun wielding badass that I know."

Tali made a noise that could have been a choked laugh. It was hard to tell through her vocoder. "Well. They must be alright if they like Garrus."

"Love," Shepard corrected with a grin.

Tali chuckled, leaning back into the couch. "I still can't believe it. That you're really here. Alive. It's hard to process."

"You have Cerberus to thank for that, too," Shepard pressed.

Tali's eyes flickered in and out of view – Shepard had a feeling she'd rolled them. "Alright, I get it – don't judge them too soon." She glanced back toward Shepard, a hint of a smile in her voice. "Well, Commander, when do I get to see you on the field in person?"

Shepard cracked a grin at the young quarian. "Well, we'll be landing on Pragia in a few days' time. It's going to involve a big bomb. You in?"

"Oh, I'm there."

* * *

Author's Note:

I wanted to take a moment to thank everyone who has stuck by from The Bucket List to this point. You all deserve something super mega special. I can't think of what, though, so you can offer suggestions (please no requests for houses, cars, or turians – I can't provide that kind of awesomeness ::( … ).

It absolutely thrills me to hear from all of you, and to hear your ideas. PLEASE don't hesitate to offer suggestions or concerns – I thrive on constructive crit.

This chapter's song is "Nicest Thing" by Kate Nash. Leave some love love in the reviews!

Love love, hug hug, kiss kiss,

E.


	13. The Trapeze Swinger

**Chapter 13**

**The Trapeze Swinger**

* * *

Jack held the gun to Aresh's head, her wild eyes rising to meet Shepard's. As if asking permission. This woman, this wild thing that killed and plundered, was looking at Shepard for _permission_. Permission to take the life of a complete stranger. A complete stranger that was completely out of his mind, sure… but…

Shepard closed her eyes. She kept seeing Garrus' face as he called for Sidonis' blood – his blatant anger at her when she asked him to change his mind, to not kill the other turian.

Shepard would be damned if she would make the same mistake twice.

When she opened her eyes, she regarded Jack coolly. The woman had begun to rock from left to right anxiously. "Goddamn it, Shepard, I'm going to kill him!"

Shepard dipped her head. "If that's what you need to do, do it." She didn't look down at him; she turned away, just as she had with Sidonis, and walked toward the doorway of what was once Jack's cell. Tali twitched from where she stood, no doubt shocked by Shepard's verdict.

The gun went off, echoing through the room. Jack cursed and Shepard turned in time to see her toss the gun away. A smoking hole had appeared next to the man. "Get the hell out of here," she snapped at him. Aresh stumbled in his haste to get to his feet, running for the door.

Shepard stepped out of the man's way, allowing him to bumble past her. Shepard raised an eyebrow at Jack, who made a very animalistic growl in the back of her throat. "Just arm the fucking bomb and let's get out of here. He's not worth my damn time."

Shepard didn't question, simply went to the bomb and arming it how Garrus had showed her. She had done some demolition when she was still green in the Alliance, but those days had passed and her memory had been shaky. Garrus had decided it would be better to give her a refreshing crash course then send her out, unprepared, with explosives.

"It's armed," Shepard called when the connected the last wire. "The detonator's in the drop ship. Let's get back."

The three sprinted through the maze of the facility, making it back to their ship without incident. Jack slammed herself into a seat, grabbing the detonator and holding it in her left hand as if it were a lifeline. Tali and Shepard took a seat across from her, strapping into the seats.

After a few moments, Jack began to click the cap of the detonator, anxiety making her knaw her full lower lip. A few more minutes passed and Jack was running her free hand over her face, her brow glistening.

Shepard met the woman's eyes and nodded. Jack flipped the cap up on the detonator and Tali pounded on the shuttle hull, alerting the pilot of what was about to happen.

Jack's thumb plunged the red button and the air around them shuddered. The shuttle rocked from side to side, attempting to keep its altitude. Jack let out a shocking cry of triumph, her face bight and disbelieving smile lighting up her face.

"It's done," Jack breathed.

…

Shepard had just taken her breastplate off and set it on the couch by her helmet when Joker came over the PA.

"Uh, Shepard, we got a problem."

"What now? I just got in?" she grumbled, a little more sour than necessary. She was hoping for a shower and a painkiller before being asked to perform another miracle for someone.

"It's Jack and Miranda. I think one of them is about to be killed. Miranda's office."

"Shit," Shepard cursed, stepping out of her grieves and boots quickly. "I'm going." She ran to the elevator, punching in the crew deck and waiting anxiously for the thing to move. Why Cerberus didn't have stairs, as well, was beyond her. The doors slid open and Shepard sprinted toward Miranda's office.

She heard the yelling before the door even opened. Cursing, Shepard forced herself into the room just as a chair whizzed by her face.

"Stupid bitch!" Jack was screaming. "Can't fucking admit your precious _Cerberus _is wrong, can you!"

Miranda slapped the flying chair aside with a wave of biotics, her face contorted in anger. "That wasn't even Cerberus – not really. But it's clear _you_ were a mistake."

Shepard stepped between them before any more furniture started to fly. "That's enough," she ordered. "This is no way to be treating teammates."

"She's not _my_ teammate," Miranda simpered, sounding more than a bit childish.

"Miranda," Shepard said warningly. "Look, I'm not saying you have to hold hands and sing kumbaya, but damn… We have a mission. The Collectors. I need both of you to keep focused. Don't lose sight of what we're risking our lives for."

Jack crossed her arms, anger leashed – for the moment. "Fine. I can wait until after the Collectors to kill the cheerleader."

Miranda narrowed her eyes but had the sense not to say anything more. Jack turned to leave but Shepard put her arm out in front of the woman. "Are we good?"

"You and me? We're peachy," Jack said, brushing past.

Shepard glanced at Miranda, raising a brow. "How about us?"

Miranda nodded. "You're right; it was stupid to egg her on. The mission comes first." Miranda sat behind her desk, folding her arms. "I take it her mission to blow up the base went well?"

"That's right," Shepard chuckled, sitting down across from Miranda. "That's probably what she was so thrilled to tell you about."

Miranda shook her head, smiling faintly. "She scares me, Shepard. She's too much of a loose cannon."

"Sometimes you need a cannon," Shepard returned with a grin. "How's your sister?"

Miranda sighed. "She's alright. She had a potential boyfriend," she admitted, rolling her eyes. "Sickening. He isn't good enough for her."

Shepard chuckled. "Oh? Who would be good enough for her? No one?"

Miranda nodded. "Exactly." She smiled fondly, though, glancing over at the only picture on her desk – Oriana's smiling face. "Thanks, Shepard. For caring."

Shepard nodded, getting to her feet. "I'm here for you if you need me. You know, to kick the guy's ass if he breaks her heart."

Miranda snorted. "Good to know, Shepard."

…

Shepard made her way into her cabin, intent on getting that shower Jack and Miranda had interrupted. When she entered, though, she felt a distinct tickle in the back of her brain telling her something was off. She glanced around the room, taking in everything.

The new fish Liara had sent her were floating lazily in the tank as always. Her two monitors were both silent, void of any incoming messages. Her display case showed her massive collection of models…

Except the Destiny Ascension.

Shepard narrowed her eyes at the strangeness of one of her models being missing. How would someone have gotten into the room past the lock?

Shepard took a step toward the display case when a flash of memory hit her.

_I have certain skills that make it easy for me to get past locked doors._

"Kasumi," Shepard said aloud, a grin flicker over her face. "You can come out with my model now."

Kasumi giggled, flickering into view. "How did you know?"

Shepard shrugged, "Good guess. A better question would be, what did you want with my model?"

"Oh nothing," Kasumi said playfully, lifting the glass and putting the silver model back. "Let's just say a few of us were curious to see how observant you are."

Shepard smirked. "Fantastic. Now I won't be able to go anywhere in the ship without wondering what you've pilfered."

Kasumi was smiling and looking beyond Shepard, her eyes glittering under her hood. Shepard heard the bathroom door slide open behind her and Thane stepped out, looking amused.

"What the hell?" Shepard said aloud, unable to keep the shocked look from her face. "How many people are in here?"

Thane shrugged. "My apologies, Shepard. Kasumi and I had a bit of a wager as to who could out-thief who."

Shepard glanced into the bathroom, taking stock of everything. Everything was just the way she remembered leaving it. Clothes in the hamper, towel on the rack, and the small train-case of makeup on the counter.

"What did you take?" she asked, bewildered.

Thane shrugged noncommittally. "Perhaps when you discover it, you'll get it back." He chose that moment to move toward the door, Kasumi flouncing behind him.

Shepard narrowed her eyes as she looked through the bathroom –again – in a last-ditch attempt to find something. "Damn drell didn't even take anything," she muttered to herself as she undressed, getting ready for her shower.

She was still muttering about it as she reached for the tap, turning the water on.

The water burbled down the wall, the showerhead nowhere to be seen.

"Thane!"

…

The pair seemed to be wreaking havoc through the ship. Thing turned up missing, only to be found in completely different areas. To make matters worse, the pair were unhelpful (to say the least) when asked where still-missing items were.

"I really need that data pad of diagnostics," Garrus groused, trying to appeal to Kasumi's honor over dinner.

"I would really appreciate my hairbrush at some point," Miranda added, though she seemed oddly amused.

Kasumi shrugged, kicking her feet in a childish way while eating her bowl of tapioca pudding. "That's too bad. I don't remember what we did with them."

Shepard smiled, shaking her head. The shower head wasn't too much of a concern; she could just shower in the women's bathroom on the crew deck until it came back. It was a bit of a pain going back to public showers after she'd gotten so used to her own bathroom, though.

"Do you think I could grovel enough for Thane to tell me where my data pad is?" Garrus asked aloud to no one in particular.

"Not a chance," Kasumi laughed. "I did all of the hiding. He did the recon."

Shepard narrowed her eyes at that. "Do you mean to tell me that you two were going to hide my model somewhere, too?"

Kasumi nodded, lips tilted around her spoon.

Shepard shook her head, snorting back her laughter. "You know, I could just lock you both in the brig until you told me where everything was."

"You wouldn't," Kasumi chirped. "We didn't take anything overly important, anything that would be a necessity. And Garrus has about a million data pads on diagnostics," she added as Garrus opened his mouth to argue.

Shepard shrugged, leaning back in her chair. "Well, I tried."

Garrus let out a world-weary sigh.

…

The call came down from The Illusive Man about a derelict Reaper that his scientists had been researching. The Reaper IFF had been located just before the scientists went silent. It was now up to Shepard and her team to get in, find out what happened, and get the IFF.

Reaching the Thorne system would take three days, which meant three days of edgy crew members. No one was thrilled about going into a Reaper after what happened on the Collector ship. No one wanted to be in the same position the Cerberus scientists must have found themselves in.

Shepard spent most of her time in her room. Garrus wasn't sure what it was that was keeping her so busy there, but he had a feeling part of her hermit-like behavior was due to the crew. She didn't want to hear the questions, the concerns. She didn't want to be the one to reassure the petty officers that everything would be fine.

Because she couldn't promise that.

Garrus went into the mess, knowing there was nothing else he could do on the Thanix Cannons. There was no reason to continue running calibrations. He smiled at Gardner as he approached. "Could you make up a plate for Shepard?"

Gardner nodded, a sneaky smile on his face. "Nice of ya to start looking after the Commander again," he began innocently, grabbing a plate and beginning to pile strange smelling food onto it.

Garrus' mandibles clicked against his jaw. "I'm just making sure she's eating." He said that more for himself then Gardner.

The cook chuckled, turning and handing him a plate. "There ya go. Tell Shepard I'm making her favorite tomorrow."

Garrus nodded, taking the plate and grabbing a packet of protein paste for himself. He also snagged a bottle of turian brandy and levo-wine as he passed, tucking both under his arm. He quickly ate the tasteless, bland protein pack on his way to the elevator, wincing as it went down his throat.

When he arrived at Shepard's door, the door's interface was green. Garrus rapped on the metal with his hand first, calling out, "Shepard, dinner?" Not hearing a response, he gingerly pressed his hand to the interface, the door sliding open.

Shepard was at her terminal, fingers flying across the holo keys there. She was so immersed in her typing, she didn't even look up. Garrus stepped into the room hesitantly, coming over to her desk and placing her food down.

"Sorry if I am disturbing you-" he began. Shepard held up a finger, asking him to wait, before going back to her typing. After a few moments, she sent the message she had been so immersed in and looked up at him with a faint smile.

"Sorry," she apologized quickly. "I was sending a message off to Hackett. Hopefully he reads it." She glanced at the food and brightened. "Well, well, Gardner keeps outdoing himself. Fried chicken and mac'n'cheese. I think he's trying to fatten me up."

Garrus was too preoccupied by her previous statement to worry about her food concerns. "What were you sending to Hackett? If you want to talk about it," he added quickly.

Shepard nodded, grabbing her plate as she stood. "I still have that bottle of wine from a few weeks ago," she laughed, motioning him over to the couch in her bedroom area.

"Well, here's another," he grinned, putting the bottle down on the coffee table, as well as the turian brandy. "I thought we could have a few drinks, if you were up to it?"

Shepard flopped down onto the cushions, grabbing the two tumbles that sat on the coffee table. "When have I ever turned down a chance to drink with you, Garrus?" she teased, pouring some brandy for him, then a glass of wine for herself.

Garrus let her tuck into her food, glad to see her eating with such enthusiasm. She finished the food off quickly before turning to her wine. She grimaced after the first sip. "Wine after fried chicken is probably the worst thing in the world."

Garrus chuckled. "Want me to get you a glass of water?"

"No, I'm fine," she laughed, shaking her head and taking another sip.

"What were you asking Hackett about?" Garrus pressed.

"Mmm," Shepard hummed, swallowing her mouthful of wine. "I was asking for the last known location of SR-I. I… I wanted to finalize some personal issues of my own before…"

Garrus nodded, watching the Commander as she spoke. She looked vulnerable, something cold and hard passing over her face. "What would you be looking for?" he asked gently.

Shepard shrugged. "I don't know. Closure, maybe?"

Garrus reached out, resting a hand on her knee. "If you need me to go with you, I will."

Shepard nodded, offering him a faint smile. "I appreciate that. We don't even know if Hackett will release any information to me yet, though." She cleared her throat before changing the subject. "So, what brought you up?"

"Do I need a reason?" Garrus asked, loving the way Shepard grinned at his words. More seriously, he added, "I just wanted to check in on you. You've been holed in up here for two days. Tomorrow we should run across the ship, so I thought I'd make sure you were well fed and not going insane up here."

Shepard smiled, curling her feet up onto the couch. "Well, to tell you the truth, I am going pretty stir crazy. I keep telling myself I need to go down to the crew deck and get a shower, but I just never get around to it. There's another extranet message, or I need to clean my fish tank, or…" Shepard trailed off before laughing. "Yeah, I don't have an excuse. I guess I just wanted to be alone."

Garrus looked at her questioningly. "Crew deck? Don't you have a shower in here?"

Shepard looked amused. "That's all you got out of my entire rant?" She chuckled, taking another pull from her glass. "Thane and Kasumi took off with my shower head."

Garrus shook his head. "Who would have guessed that those two would team up to make us all go insane?"

"Not me," Shepard admitted. "I could see Kasumi acting alone, or maybe getting you involved. Thane was a dark horse contender in that one."

Garrus chuckled. "You thought I would start taking people's crap and hiding them in random places?"

Shepard's laughter pealed through the room. "No, I guess not," she gasped between giggles. The image of massive Garrus ducking in to places to grab items and hiding them elsewhere on the ship was too amusing. "It'd be really hard for you to sneak into my bathroom and steal my shower head."

Garrus shook his head. "You know, I might just have to steal something to prove my capabilities."

Shepard shrugged. "Go for it – just be forewarned, you touch the models and you die," she said, nodding toward her display case.

Garrus chuckled. "I never did understand your fascination with those."

Shepard shrugged. "They're pretty, shiny and relevant. And they remind me of what we fight for, and why."

Garrus thought about that for a moment, taking a gulp of his brandy. Shepard never seemed to be excessive in her desires. The only things in the room that defined her were those models. It made it evident she was a soldier at heart.

"Garrus," Shepard began, her voice soft, "can I ask you something?"

"Sure," he nodded, waiting.

It took her a few moments, but eventually she murmured, "Tell me about your men."

Garrus glanced over at her, caught off-guard by how honest and raw her eyes were. This was more like his old Shepard, the one that admitted fears of going back to her birthplace and facing the demons of her past. The one that built a hood for an old precursor car out of scrap metal and plastic sheeting.

Garrus began to speak, at first slow and halting. He was hesitant to give details to her. He didn't want to get hurt again if she simplified the pain of his loss. When she stayed silent, watching him with those open eyes, he began to loosen up. He told her about how he met all of them; how they slowly began meeting more and more over drinks and discussing the inequalities of Omega. How they began to form a posse, working as a team. And how things were, for a time, perfect.

Shepard didn't speak once while Garrus talked. She smiled and laughed in all the right places. She looked saddened at times, as well. When he told her about how he found his men, riddled with bullet holes and destined for nothing better than shallow, unmarked graves, she looked away from him.

He grew silent, watching her. Her hands were clenched in fists and she shook her head. When she finally looked back to him, she murmured, "I can't… I can't even imagine how that loss hurt you. Seeing them like that-" she broke off, her gaze going to the fish tank.

"Thank you," Garrus whispered, his own voice thick with emotion.

The two sat in silence for a time, listening to the soft burbling of the Aquarium VI cleaning the tank. After a bit, Shepard spoke again. "How did you find out about… me."

Garrus chuckled, but it was not a humorous one. "Are you trying to get me depressed, Shepard?" He shook his head before continuing. "I was at work. Do you remember our final pings?"

Shepard's lower lip trembled. Garrus had heard that this was a sign of emotional unrest in human women. She bit down on it, as if trying to keep herself from crying. She only nodded her answer that, yes, she did remember.

_Shepard leaned back in bed, the sheets whispering, feather-soft, against her. Her eyes began to droop when her omni-tool buzzed with an incoming ping. _

Vakarian, Garrus: I miss you. Sleep well.

_Shepard smiled, feeling her heart wrench. There were days, such as today, when she missed him more than ever. When she would give anything to feel him beside her, to hear his voice… She wanted nothing more than to get through this last batch of missions and go back to the Citadel. Spend a few days in Garrus' new apartment, watching crappy movies and making love._

Miss you, too,_ she typed back, not willing to tell him how alone she felt. Not willing to let on that she was dying out here without him. _Talk soon.

_Shepard curled up into her pillow, determined to dream of him until the Normandy ran across those Geth._

"When I was there, drifting through space… suffocating," Shepard began, voice shaking slightly, "all I could think of… was how I was supposed to call you that night. How I would get to hear your voice."

Garrus felt his throat close up. He opened his arms to her and Shepard practically hurdled into them, her shoulders shaking with tears as her face pressed into his cowl.

"Chellick told me about the attack," Garrus said, attempting to keep his composure. "He… he waited until the end of the day. Four hours after the attack, he came into my office and told me you were… that you had…"

He swallowed, trying to keep his voice from flanging too heavily. "The worst part… Spirits, the worst part was going back home. I kept pinging you, praying that everyone was wrong. And the entire cab ride home, all I heard was news reports about you. I saw your face everywhere, along with dates. Your date of birth and…." He closed his eyes. "Seeing the date of death broke me. I went home and broke every piece of furniture I had. And then I drank. Spirits, I drank so much I thought I would die."

Shepard pulled back just enough so that she could see him. She gently reached up, cupping his damaged cheek, her thumb running along his mandible. "I'm sorry," she whispered, the tears on her cheeks glistening. "For everything. For all of this. God, Garrus. I'm so, so sorry."

Garrus pulled her close, their bodies melding together, his face pressed into her hair. He breathed in the vanilla scent of her, so familiar and yet so new. "I've missed you," he whispered.

Shepard's shoulders were wracked again as new tears began to fall. "I've missed you, too," she returned, pressing her lips gently to his cheek.

* * *

Author's Note:

Awwww! I have really wanted to use this song for a long time – "The Trapeze Swinger," by Iron and Wine. It's a very lyrically impressive song – very long, though, so be ready to read/listen A LOT ::)

What do we all think of this one? Leave the love love in reviews!

Love love,

E.


	14. Audience

**Chapter 14**

**Audience**

* * *

Garrus and Shepard spent most of the night together, reminiscing over the past. The bottle of turian brandy had been completely drained, as well as most of Shepard's wine, within hours.

"Remember Shiala?" Garrus asked, already laughing. "How the Thorian kept replicating clones of her?"

"Oh my God, I thought I was going insane," Shepard giggled, leaning back into the couch cushions. "We'd kill her, and then she'd pop around the next corner and toss those damn biotics at me."

"At us," Garrus corrected. "I just remember when you jumped out of the way of one of her attacks and I happened to be right behind you. BAM! Face full of crippling biotic power."

"Jumped out of the way?" Shepard exclaimed, her face betraying her amusement. "I tripped over the Thorian creeper Tali tossed in front of me!"

"Likely story," Garrus teased. "In any event, you dodged and I got knocked cold for a whole minute."

Shepard rolled her eyes. "Alright, what about that time on Therum, when we were trying to blast Liara out of that Prothean force field? And all those geth showed up?"

Garrus groaned. "You always bring this up. Can't let it go, can you?"

"Of course I can't," Shepard grinned. "You conveniently ducked behind a piece of debris and forgot to come back out until the geth were dead! Poor Ashley and I were shot all to hell by the end of it."

"I told you my shields were malfunctioning!" Garrus exclaimed defensively. "You remember how unreliable those old light armors were – I was always having trouble with the damned thing."

"Mmhmm, sure," Shepard smirked, winking to let him know she was joking. "I'm sure that's what happened."

The two fell into a companionable silence before Garrus murmured, "I never forgave myself. For not being there when the Normandy went down."

"You couldn't have done anything differently, other than gotten yourself killed, too," Shepard murmured, voice soft.

Garrus shrugged, watching her. "Maybe. Or maybe I could have saved you."

Shepard, reclined on the off-white couch wearing only a pair of thin pants and a tank top, looked very vulnerable. Soft, breakable, and human. Her eyes, however, burned with something very passionate, very fierce – it was almost like looking into a charging krogan's eyes.

"I don't know how much they told you," she began, her voice surprisingly firm. "Hell, I don't know how much anyone really knew."

Garrus shook his head. "I spoke with Joker a few days after it happened. He found me liquored out of my mind on the Citadel. Though he owed it to Shepard's best friend to tell me what he knew."

Shepard nodded, worrying her lower lip with tooth for a moment. "When the attack hit, we lost about ten people immediately. Kaidan was trying to pull me into a pod; and when that failed, he tried to help me round up the survivors."

Garrus nodded. "It sounds like something Kaidan would do."

Shepard raised an eyebrow, as if attempting to figure out if he was being sarcastic or not. She seemed to decide against asking and instead murmured, "I finally got him into a pod; told him he was the only one who would be able to take care of everyone if I…" she broke off, feeling her throat tighten.

"I knew," she said simply, her voice laced with a slight tremor. "I knew what might happen. I'd made it through enough close scrapes to know that my free passes were dwindling." She met Garrus' eyes, saw the pain in them, and smiled softly. "When that last blow hit the Normandy, when that explosion knocked me into space… I knew."

Garrus watched her speak about her own death and marveled at the fact she was so calm. So blasé. He wanted to reach out and hold her. "How do you stay so sure of yourself?" he asked finally.

Shepard laughed but the sound was bitter. "Oh, I am anything but sure of myself. At that moment, I was scared shitless. I think I even started crying, there toward the end." She glanced away, toward the empty bottles on the coffee table. "And you know what I kept thinking?"

_**-Flashback-**_

_**It can't end like this. It can't. I can't go out this way.**_

_Shepard felt the cold, even though her new N7 armor. She felt the angry bite of the endless void of space and knew that she had done what any good captain would. She went down with her ship. She would be honored like a true hero, her name praised and remembered. _

_**But I'm not done! I have so much more I needed to do! **__Shepard thought frantically, feeling the hot pinpricks of failure filling her eyes. She struggled to reach for the connection line that was spewing her life-saving air through the darkness. She frantically clawed at the line, attempting to not breathe in order to conserve the small amounts she was getting. __**The Reapers – I need to find a way to prove they exist! I need to…**_

_She felt her muscles relaxing; she felt her reflexes slowing. She was so cold and her lungs screamed in agony. She twisted herself around, eyes frantically falling on the ever-growing planet looming to her left. She took in the sight of the giant sphere and knew, without a doubt, that this was the end._

_She felt the tears streaming down her face now. She forgot about the Reapers, about the galaxy. All she could think about was the turian she never got to say goodbye to. The turian she never had time to admit the extent of her feelings for. _

_She closed her eyes, her body twitching from the strain of suffocating. She tried to remain calm for as long as she could, but eventually the tremors began to rack her body. Her fingers clutched uselessly at her suit-covered neck and the beginnings of atmospheric glow danced around her helmet._

**_-End-_**

_It can't end like this. _Garrus closed his eyes. Those words were exactly what he cried angrily as he broke furniture in his apartment after the news. The feeling of surreal emptiness he felt, knowing she was gone, had driven him into a despair he never knew was possible.

"I don't know what I can say," Garrus admitted. "I wish I could just say something to make this better. To make this go away."

Shepard was smiling faintly, her eyes misty with unshed tears. "I don't expect you to make this go away, Garrus. Hell, I don't even expect you to say anything. I just… I wanted you to know that what happened…" she sighed, seeming at a loss for words. "I wasn't Commander Shepard in those last minutes. I wasn't even Shepard. I was just a scared girl who wanted nothing more than to see you one last time before I died."

Garrus' throat was so dry he thought he might choke if he so much as breathed. He was, again, unsure of what to say. Shepard had opened up more in the last four hours than she had since return. She was honest and patient. She was everything he remembered her to be during their last days on shore leave.

But she was different, too. The breakable thing that he had seen in her eyes during their meeting on Omega now had a name. Mortality. Shepard knew she was breakable now and the knowledge shone in her eyes.

"Do you ever think you were needlessly reckless?" he asked suddenly.

Shepard snorted. "Me? Never!" She laughed and added, "All the time. Maybe I'm just getting old, but some of that shit we did back then?" She let out a deep sigh. "I don't think these old bones could do it."

Garrus chuckled. "Old bones melded with high-protein fiber bundles and cybernetics."

Shepard shrugged, her eyes twinkling. "Tomato, tom_ato_."

Garrus blinked. "I'm sorry?"

Shepard was giggling again, her voice amused as she murmured, "I see you never really brushed up on that human dictionary."

"I'm telling you, Shepard, a dictionary will not help this strange jargon you humans use," he grumbled good-naturedly.

The pair grew silent and Garrus glanced at him omni-tool. "Damn, Shepard, it's already one in the morning. You need to get some sleep."

Shepard nodded, eyes sliding closed. "I will admit, I am pretty exhausted. All of this drinking took a lot out of me."

Garrus chuckled, getting to his feet. "I'll take the garbage down. Do you need me to bring anything up for you?"

Shepard shook her head, still not opening her eyes. Her smile was lazy as she murmured, "Maybe if you find a showerhead lying around. That would be handy."

Garrus was still laughing to himself as he collected the trash and bid Shepard goodnight.

…

Shepard rubbed her eyes, flushing them with the cool saline Chakwas had given her. Blinking, she was able to get some of the stinging soot from her eyes, the tears tracking down her dirty face equally tainted. Sighing, she picked up the wet wash cloth and swiped as much grime from her face as she could.

"You're lucky all you got was minor smoke damage," Chalwas was murmuring. "I'd hate to have three patients at the same time."

Shepard offered her a sad smile. "Go grab something to eat, Karin. I'll watch over these two."

Chakwas shook her head. "Go get cleaned up and let me do my job. I can eat later."

Shepard was firm, however. "Karin, I will let you know if anything, _anything,_ changes. Just go get dinner?"

Chakwas scowled but gave in. "Fine. I want you to finish that bottle of water by the time I get back, though. You're severely dehydrated." She turned and closed up the blinds to the Med Bay, dimmed the lighting, and exited the room.

Shepard grabbed the water bottle Chakwas had given her, taking a long swig. As she drank, her eyes drifted over to Mordin. He had been the worst off – the explosion of the Reaper's core had set a hot energy blast out, lacerating a deep gash into Mordin's cheek and causing numerous burns.

Tali, likewise, had a few small areas where burns had eaten into her environmental suit. Though Tali's injuries were slight, the risk of infection was too high. She had been placed into a large incubation-like coffin that Shepard hadn't even known the Normandy had. Chakwas had spent the better part of the previous two hours painstakingly cleaning her wounds through the strange arm-holes and interior gloves.

Tali had been drifting in and out of consciousness, speaking in her sleep about things Shepard couldn't understand. Chakwas had said fever would take over Tali's body without any doubt – she had been exposed to foreign elements for too long. Shepard was guessing her garbled speech had something to do with the onset.

The door slid open and Garrus came in, looking concerned. "I just heard. I was upgrading the Thanix Cannons and came as soon as they finished."

Shepard nodded, smiling faintly. "They'll be fine. Mordin's wounds show no sign of infection. Tali is a fighter. She'll kick the fever and then be back to normal in no time."

Garrus nodded, coming to lean against the wall next to Shepard's chair. "What about you?" he asked in an undertone.

Shepard shrugged. "I'm fine. Just dirty, smelly and thirsty."

Garrus smiled, eyes glancing over the other two crew members. "I hear you brought a Geth on board."

"Tali wasn't thrilled at the idea," Shepard sighed, taking another drink.

Garrus shook his head. "I can imagine." He was silent for a time before shifting his weight uncomfortably. "Shepard, I was wondering if we could… talk."

Shepard nodded, seeming distracted. "Sure. What's on your mind?"

Garrus was silent before glancing around the room. "It's more of a, uh, private matter."

Shepard glanced up at him, her eyebrows raised. "We're the only ones lucid in here. Spill."

Garrus sighed, his tone halting as he spoke. "I just wanted you to know… that I'm proud to call you my best friend. And I'm sorry. I was so angry with you for not taking time to understand my pain… and then I never stopped to consider yours."

Shepard smiled, the soft skin around her eyes crinkling. "You know, Garrus… once we destroy the Collector base, I think we all deserve some major shore leave."

Garrus chuckled. "I'd agree to that."

"And you know, we said we'd do a trip around Palaven next time we have shore leave," she reminded him, her smile radiant.

"Well," Garrus began coolly, stepping a bit closer to her chair, "we also said that next shore leave we would stick to the beach somewhere and not go hunting for adventure."

Shepard made a tisking noise. "Where's your sense of fun?"

"I remember having quite a bit of fun watching you run around in the water at the beach last time," he grinned, harmonics deepening as he spoke.

Shepard snorted. "Yeah? Why was that fun? If I remember correctly, you wouldn't come anywhere near that water."

Garrus shrugged, his tone light as he alleged, "I can't remember if it was because of the warm sun or watching you jump around in barely any clothing." At Shepard's wide-eyed shock, he added, "I think it was the sun."

Shepard's surprised laughter echoed through the room. She reached out, punching his arm gently. "Don't lie, you liked watching me flounce around in a bikini."

"Loved it," Garrus corrected, his voice flanging. "Did I mention my sister lives close to a beach? Not sure if she'd appreciate me ogling a scantily clad human, but we can't all be perfect."

Shepard stood, stepping closer to Garrus. "Are you _flirting _with me, Vakarian?" she murmured softly, her eyes raising to his.

"Flirting might be too soft of a word," he hummed, moving to close the distance between them. One arm went around the small of her back, the other to her soot-covered cheek. "Unless you're about to turn me down. In which case, this is all a figment of your imagination."

Shepard's only answer was her lips meeting his mouth. When she pulled away, she murmured silkily, "What the hell took so long for us to make up?"

"I've been wondering that the past few months," Garrus returned, pressing his mouth to hers. The human gesture was something that had grown on him. It was affectionate and intimate and something undeniably loving. It was something he was glad to say he had only shared with Shepard.

The sound of a throat being cleared broke up their lips' reunion, however. Karin Chakwas stood in the doorway, an amused smirk on her face.

"Shepard, I didn't think I had to ask you, of all people, not to fornicate near sterilized equipment," Chakwas teased gently. "I guess hindsight is 20/20."

Garrus felt properly mortified, but Shepard only chuckled, her cheeks flushed. "Sorry, Karin. It won't happen again."

Chakwas only smiled. "Garrus, see to it that Shepard gets a shower. I'm not sure how turians feel about cleanliness, but humans are very picky about it."

"Right away, Doctor," Garrus grumbled awkwardly, following a laughing Shepard out of the Med Bay.

* * *

Author's Note:

That chapter's song was "Audience" by Cold War Kids.

So, here's the fun story behind our current story delay: I manage a senior citizen apartment community. I've been doing this for years and love every second of it. Unfortunately, my property experienced a fire Sunday night which has resulted in some property damage as well as severe injury to one of the residents.

This week has had me running between owner meetings, investor meetings, insurance adjustment meetings, and the hospital where the resident was being treated. The resident passed away yesterday due to her injuries. :( She was such a fantastic woman, so the loss has hit the entire property hard.

SOOOO that is why I was AWOL for a while. I apologize for that! Postings may be slightly delayed until this fire business gets completely sorted out. So thanks to everyone for being patient with me!

Love Love,

E.


	15. Morning Song

**Chapter 15**

**Morning Song**

* * *

Shepard's chest heaved as she ducked around the corner, evading the geth drone's bullets. Just a week ago, Tali was in the Med Bay, being patched up for wounds sustained on the derelict Reaper. Now she was being accused of treason, had lost her father, and was trying her damnedest to take back the Alarei.

Shepard glanced back to the quarian girl, only to find her leaning heavily on the wall. "Tali, fall back into the other room," Shepard ordered, popping out her dwindling heat sink and replacing it quickly. "Thane and I have got this."

"Agreed," Thane called over their link. A shrill sound of shrieking mechanics made Shepard turn, glancing through the plate glass and into the main control room. Thane had broken through the smaller geths' defenses and managed to down the Prime that had been causing so much so trouble.

Tali tried to argue over the feed, but she ended up stumbling back anyway. She was smart enough to know that she was too injured to do any good. Shepard slunk around the corner wall and joined Thane in the control room just as the drell placed a final bullet into a smaller geth's head.

Shepard moved toward the panel, unsure what she was looking at. "Thane, any idea how to disrupt this thing?"

Thane came to join her, glancing over the control panel with wide, unblinking eyes. "I would assume the geth are hardwired directly into one of these ports."

Shepard met Thane's eyes. "Really?" she asked dryly.

Thane sighed but smiled gently, his patience knowing no bounds. "I could not even begin to guess which one to pull. I would suggest destroying the whole panel."

Shepard nodded. "I can get behind that." She leveled her pistol at the panel, pulling the trigger and letting off a round of bullets.

…

Tali was announced innocent, as Shepard knew she would be. She was also discovered to still be highly feverish. Shala'Raan suggested Tali stay on the Flotilla to regain her strength and be monitored for any worsening.

"No, Shepard, please," Tali begged weakly. "I'll be fine. I'll rest on the Normandy!"

Shepard, sighing, glanced toward Raan. "How bad is it?"

Raan glanced toward Tali before murmuring, "It is worse than Tali lets on, however it is milder than most that we see. I would suggest bed rest in a sterile environment for at least a week."

"Shepard, please," Tali moaned, her voice edged with panic. "I swear I won't be a burden! I will rest and I will be fine by the time we're ready to-"

Shepard stepped over to the anxious girl and drew her into a hug. Shepard could feel the heat radiating from her even with her newly patched environmental suit and Shepard's armor separating them. Tali's body practically collapsed against Shepard. "You should stay," Shepard murmured softly. "You need to rest and get your strength back."

"But I…" she struggled with her breathing, her voice coming out desperate over the vocoder. "I have every right to go up against the Collectors with you."

Shepard pulled away slightly, meeting Tali's glowing eyes through her violet mask. "Tali Zorah vas Normandy. I need you healthy and strong to fight. Rest and grieve for your father. You'll meet the Collectors with us."

"Can you promise that?" Tali demanded. "Can you promise me that you'll come back for me?"

Shepard almost looked away. "I can't promise anything right now, Tali."

"Then I am going," Tali said, voice trembling. "I can stay in the Med Bay. Chakwas will take care of me."

Raan sighed deeply. "Shepard, we have no way to keep her here. If she is so insistent on serving with her Captain," Raan added, sounding pleased at Tali's resolve, "then we cannot possibly think of making her stay. However, I do believe it would be best for her to stay here."

Shepard smiled, her expression sad. "Tali, I'm sorry… I can't take the chance of you getting worse. Chakwas does her best, but your people know much more about quarian physiology."

Tali's shoulders shook; Shepard had a feeling she was crying from exhaustion and frustration. "Fine," she murmured thickly. She swayed on her feet, Raan reaching out to steady her. "Just… please come back for me."

Shepard nodded. "We'll see each other very soon, Tali. Focus on healing."

"She will be in good hands," Raan reassured, drawing Tali close. "Keelah se'lai, Commander."

"Keelah se'lai," Shepard returned, turning toward the docking bay.

…

"Joker, what's the status on the Reaper IFF?" Shepard asked as she and Thane entered the Normandy.

Joker looked startled as he turned. "Shepard… where's Tali?"

Shepard sighed, realizing how coming back without a crew member must look. "She's fine. She's staying with the Flotilla for a time in order to heal. The IFF?" she repeated.

"The Reaper IFF is still integrating with our systems," EDI informed promptly, the blue sphere of light near Joker's seat lighting up. "I am unsure as to how long the procedure might take."

Shepard nodded, seeming lost in thought. "Let's head toward the Citadel. We can all have some shore leave until the ship is ready."

"Sounds good to me, Shep," Joker began, stretching his arms gingerly. "I would like to get a few drinks in me before meeting a probably doom in the Omega Relay."

"Jeff may be required for upgrades to the piloting system, Shepard," EDI alerted. "In case something goes wrong with the drive, it would be best to have a skeleton crew, as well."

Shepard ignored Joker's groan of displeasure. "Of course. I suppose the ground teams and a few others will be the only ones going out, then." To Joker, she added, "Don't worry, I'll be sure to have some good food and drinks shuttled out to you."

Joker was still grumbling, but looked a little less put out. Chuckling, Shepard turned to alert the ground team of their next destination.

…

Shepard was awoken by the sound of her door sliding open. She'd been doing nothing but catching up on sleep while they cruised toward the Citadel. The two days that had passed had been some of the most relaxing she could remember on the SR-II. Everyone was pleased about a mini-break on the Citadel. Even those who were needed to stay on the ship were thrilled at the prospect of their commander sending up food and drinks for everyone. Gardner seemed a bit annoyed at this, however, taking it as a personal insult.

Garrus stepped through the door, carrying a plate of what looked like mashed potatoes and a glass of water. "Gardner is punishing the crew by only making this mushy stuff," he alerted her. "I had to dodge a knife when I asked if I could get someone a little nicer for the captain of the ship."

Shepard snorted as she sat up in bed, the covers pooling in her lap. She took a moment to adjust her tee shirt and run a hand through her mussed hair. "Thank you. I happen to love mashed potatoes, so it's not a problem."

Garrus shrugged, handing her the plate. "The humans of the ship seemed to be okay with it at first, too. Then they tasted it."

Shepard raised an eyebrow before taking a hesitant bite from her fork. The potatoes had been put together in Gardner's usual fashion – a little milk and a lot of butter. This time, though, he also added what tasted like half a pound of salt.

"Oh God," Shepard gaged past the lump of potato that was sliding down her throat. "He is vindictive as hell, isn't he?"

Garrus chuckled, handing her the water. She chugged the entire glass, trying to get the salty blandness out of her mouth. "I have got to talk to him about this trip down to the Citadel. I don't know why he's being such an ass about it."

"Before you do that," Garrus began, sliding to sit on the bed beside her, "I have a surprise for you."

"Oh?" Shepard asked, an eyebrow cocked. "Does it involve male lingerie?" Garrus' look of confusion was enough to make her giggle. "Never mind. What is it?"

Garrus reached into the folds of his tunic and produced a slim, shiny silver apparatus. He handed it to Shepard, who took one look and it and squealed.

"My showerhead! Where did you find it?"

Garrus chuckled. "It was left in the Main Battery with this." He handed her a piece of paper with a hand-scrawled note.

_For Shep and Garrus. Good to see the two of you got your heads back on straight. _

_xoxox Kasumi and Thane_

Shepard laughed aloud, shaking her head. At Garrus' confused mandible flares, she translated the note for him. "Looks like Kasumi had a chat with Chakwas."

Garrus hummed, seeming amused, before taking the showerhead back from here. "I'll go install it for you. Then maybe I could, ah, join you in the shower?"

Shepard's eyes twinkled. "That sounds like a fantastic plan, Vakarian."

…

The cramped drop shuttle had been used to ferry the ground team to the Citadel. EDI had suggested the Normandy stay in orbit so the engines could continue to run, since docking protocols prohibited idling ships.

Three hours had passed in relative peace for Shepard. The Citadel's darkening skyline gave way to gorgeous pinpricks of stars. Shepard and Garrus had taken a taxi down to one of the posh residential districts for a walk after their over-the-top dinner. As they strode between elegant apartment buildings, homes and gardens, Shepard's five fingers reached out to curl with Garrus' three.

Garrus was shocked at her outright display of public affection. Turian and human relationships were often shunned, even in the most open-minded places. Shepard knew this as well as anyone else, after the uproar from their Earth shore leave over two years ago.

"Shepard, are you sure you're okay with this?" he began softly.

She glanced up at him, her eyes shimmering in the soft glow from the sidewalk lights. "What do you mean?"

Garrus took a breath, trying to find a way to say what he was feeling. "It's just that there are a lot of people who can look out their windows and see us. See this. I don't want a repeat of what happened on Earth. Remember Udina? He practically popped a blood vessel in his neck when he found out. I just want to make sure you're okay with this. With what people might say."

Shepard had her faint half-smile tugging her lips as he stammered over his concerns. She stopped walking, tugging him gently to face her. "Garrus, not only do I not give a damn about what happened back then, but I don't give a damn what others think. What I _do_ care about is you." She squeezed his hand, her smile sweet and reassuring. "So if you want to keep this to ourselves, keep this a secret… I'll honor that."

Garrus shook his head quickly. "No, Shepard, you know me. I want... I want us to be able to have a normal courtship when we can. I want this," he added, returning the squeeze.

Shepard stood on her tiptoes, her lips brushing against his mouth. "Well then who cares what others think?"

He hummed against her mouth, returning he gesture and pulling her close. He was so enthralled with her scent, with her softness, that he almost missed the sound of her omni tool buzzing angrily.

Shepard pulled away reluctantly, pulling up the interface. "Probably Joker wondering where the food is. I told that boy it would take a few hours for them to deliver it to an orbiting ship."

When she pulled up message, she frowned. "It's from EDI." She scanned over the message, her confusion giving way to horror. "Shit, Garrus, the Collectors. They've attacked the ship." She met his eyes, hers swimming with fear. "They took the crew."

…

Shepard had to throw Miranda out of the Communications room so she didn't attack Joker. The pilot was slumped against the table, his head in his hands.

"It wasn't Jeff's fault," EDI repeated, sounding oddly meek.

"I know," Shepard said softly, coming to sit beside Joker. She placed her hand gently on his shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"Just fucking great," Joker intoned blandly. Shepard rubbed a comforting hand over his shoulder, attempting to be supportive.

"Shepard, what shall we do?" Thane asked, his large obsidian eyes regarding her calmly. Kasumi, who stood beside him, looked worried for the first time.

Shepard glanced between her crew, watching the fears that filtered through all of their faces. "We need to get our crew back," she began softly.

"Are we ready for this?" Jacob asked, always the cautious one.

"The IFF is ready for the jump whenever you are, Shepard," EDI informed. "We purged the systems. There is no chance of a repeat occurrence."

"Shepard, Tali is requesting we meet her outside of the Omega docking bays," Garrus spoke up from where he had been conversing with Tali via his omni tool.

Shepard nodded, swallowing hard. "Joker, how long will it take us to get to Omega?"

"About a day, maybe a little less," Joker responded.

"Garrus, let Tali know that if she isn't there when we get there, we have to leave her behind. We don't know how long the crew can last and we can't take any chances."

"Of course, Shepard," Garrus replied, already typing in the response.

Shepard looked between the crew, knowing they all expected a speech, a morale boost. She wasn't sure if she could offer that now. Her heart felt as though it had been torn apart, the fragments left to dry out on the deck.

"We will get our people back," Shepard said finally. "And we will take the Collectors down. We'll show them what happens when they fuck with our galaxy."

* * *

Author's Note:

"Morning Song" is performed by The Lumineers.

Thanks for all of your patience! We're drawing to a close of this story… however, I am thinking there is a HUGE possibility of doing another "shore leave" fic after. A short vacation for Shep and Garrus before Shepard goes back to face the music of her actions with the Alliance. ::) After all, Shepard and Garrus did mention they wanted to do something on Palaven… Let me know your thoughts. ::D

Love Love,

E.


	16. Now My Feet Won't Touch the Ground

**Chapter 16**

**Now My Feet Won't Touch the Ground**

* * *

_A/N: One of you bright reviewers pointed out to me that I should alert people to the songs before the chapter, in case the reader wants to listen to the song first (and thus get a good feeling for the chapter). So, here is Chapter 16 – "Now My Feet Won't Touch the Ground," by Coldplay. ::)_

* * *

Garrus ran a talon lightly over Shepard's bare shoulder, following it to the bend of her elbow. He wanted to do so much for her. He wanted to give her a home that she'd never had growing up. He wanted to show her love, to shower her in devotion. He wanted to be the person to make her whole.

But it was much too soon to admit these things to her. It was much too soon and there was no time that seemed right. He had almost mentioned it on the Citadel, as he held her close amid the smell of hydrangeas and roses. He had almost said the word that had circled through his head for such a long time.

Love.

He had known it was love for a long time. The first realization had hit him after their mission to Noveria. He remembered seeing how downtrodden Shepard looked after killing Benezia. How exhausted she looked and how nervous she seemed whenever around Liara. As if she were worried the asari might swear hatred for her.

It was the humanity he saw in her. The humility. She was humble and just and everything that he wished he could be.

Shepard stirred, making a sound in the back of her throat. Her eyes fluttered under the lids, her mouth parting slightly. She said something in an undertone, so soft he couldn't understand it. Her lightly tanned skin seemed to glitter in the glow from the fish tank, illuminating her.

Garrus leaned down, gently dragging his mouth across her shoulder in the closest thing to a kiss he could manage. She stirred, grumbling, before her eyes opened. She met his gaze and smiled sleepily, the worry that had been knitting her brow before sleep gone. "How long was I out?"

"A few hours," Garrus admitted.

Shepard groaned, the crease returning to her brow. "I thought you were going to wake me after thirty minutes!" She began to sit, reaching for her clothes.

Garrus grabbed her arm, gently pulling her back down onto the bed. "Shepard, we're still at least twelve hours from Omega. There's no more you can do right now."

Shepard sighed, leaning back into her pillows. "You're right, as always."

Garrus hummed deeply, pulling her against his plates. She curled against him, her cheek resting against his cowl. "Garrus," she began softly, "are you…worried?"

"No way," he said quickly. "You've got me. And there's no way I am letting any of us die."

Shepard chuckled softly, shaking her head. "You know you don't have to do that. Pretend to be so cocky."

"Pretend?" Garrus grumbled teasingly, running his talons gently along her back. She wriggled as they passed over her spine, making her gasp from ticklishness. "Alright, Shepard, I'll give it to you straight. I'm worried. I'm a little apprehensive. But not because I don't think we'll win. You've got the best damn crew this galaxy could produce. As long as we make it through the relay, we're golden."

Shepard nodded, letting out a deep sigh. "As long as we make it through the relay," she repeated, sounding wistful.

_..._

When Shepard and Garrus finally made it down to the mess, they were met with an onslaught of delicious smells. Miranda, Kasumi and Thane had been helping Gardner in the kitchen. The result of their labors was an entire banquet table of food, both levo- and dextro-based.

"We looked up recipes for the dextro stuff," Kasumi said proudly, her cheeks flecked with something purple and pasty. "Couldn't taste-test it, of course, so sorry if it tastes like crap, Garrus."

Garrus' mandibles flared as he looked over the abundance of food. "Thank you all. This is… so much more than I needed."

"Hell, if this is our last night on the planet, I think it's fitting we get a last supper," Jacob intoned, already piling a plate high of the smorgasbord of food stuffs.

Miranda was picking out fruits and steamed vegetables on the other end of the table. For the first time in a while, she was smiling broadly. "Did someone tell Joker? We made chocolate cupcakes for him."

"He's on his way," Zaeed said, grabbing a leg of roasted chicken. "Said somethin' about needing to finish up some adjustments to the controls, or some shit."

Garrus took a plate from Gardner, glancing over the dextro food on the bar. He piled his plate high, though looked a bit remorseful. "Too bad Tali isn't here for this. These kalgor buds are a quarian favorite."

"There will be leftovers, unless you're planning on scarfing down all of it," Kasumi chided with a wink, her plate of sweets teetering precariously as she danced between people in order to find a seat. Grunt gave a harsh chuckle at that as he piled his plate with nearly raw, bloody varren meat.

"Unlikely," Mordin spoke up. He seemed more interested in analyzing the food than actually eating it. "Turians unable to digest large quantities of food. More than likely, will store some for later in one of many gullet sacs."

Jack made a face, dropping her spoon of stew back into her bowl. "Alright, that was disgusting. Mordin, we need to teach you some damn table manners. Shit."

Shepard smiled from where she stood, watching the others milling about the table. Food seemed to bring everyone together here. Shepard remembered some holidays back on Earth, when she would slink around warm windows and peek in on the happy families within. She would see the same thing then; the mother and father serving the children who, like doe-eyed lambs, eagerly fawned over the food and placemats and finery. Shepard felt the same phantom pain, the need to belong, stab deep in her chest.

Legion approached her, seeming inquisitive. "Shepard-Commander. Is something the matter?"

Shepard forced a smile, trying to ignore the pain that took up residence in her heart. "Sorry, Legion, I didn't see you there. I was just enjoying watching the others."

Legion was silent for a time, his strange head swiveling between the organics within the room. "I understand little of what they speak of. But I am glad to be a part of it, nonetheless."

Shepard's smile grew. "You're a great part of the team, Legion. We're happy to have you."

"Shepard!" Jack called over the hubbub of the mess, "Get your ass over here before Zaeed eats all the good stuff."

Shepard chuckled, moving toward the table and the closest thing to a family she'd ever had. Miranda handed her a plate, her blue eyes seeming to twinkle with mirth. "Kasumi and I managed to make a semi-normal looking turkey; you should try it and tell us how it turned out."

Kasumi glanced up from the cupcake she had been feeding to an amused Thane, her eyes twinkling under her hood. "Shep, you never finished telling me about that last stand on the Citadel. Against Saren?"

Shepard chuckled, looking down at the table. All eyes were on her, eager to ignore the sinking feeling that this might be their last dinner. Eager to imagine that Shepard, who already defied odds in saving the Citadel, might pull them all through this mission alive.

Shepard sliced herself a piece of turkey, adding it to her plate. "Well, I might need Garrus to remind me of some key points I might be leaving out."

Garrus swallowed the strange, worm looking thing on his fork and grinned. "Well, how about we start with you driving like a krogan on red sand, tearing through ancient ruins and running over geth at top speed?"

Shepard grinned, shrugging. "Well, let me begin by saying that I was in too much of a hurry to save the Citadel to worry about ancient ruins on Ilos…"

…

Tali had been true to her word. A hodgepodge ship that looked as though it had been reconstructed a million times floated silently around the docs of Omega. The Normandy came to a halt beside it, Joker anxiously patched a feed through to the other ship. "Tali, that you?"

"Normandy, this is Ka'Reegar. Tali is here and prepared to board. Do we have permission to dock with you?"

Shepard, who had been pacing anxiously behind Joker's chair, lunged toward the controls. "Reegar, it's Shepard. You have permission, but we need to be quick."

"Of course, Shepard," Reegar responded quickly. "Tali and I… have said our goodbyes. She is ready. We are deploying our docking bridge now."

Shepard tapped her foot anxiously until she felt the deck shudder as the docking tube latched onto their airlock. Shepard moved toward the door, feeling her heart hammering in her chest. A few moments passed before a tinny beep resounded from the airlock. Tali must have made it into their decontamination area.

A few more moments passed and the door slid open, Tali rushing through the door. "Reegar, I'm on board," she said quickly through her comm. "Hurry and pull back the bridge."

"Understood, Tali," Reegar returned over her comm, his voice sounding distorted. The Normandy shuddered again as the ships disengaged from one another. "And Tali… keelah se'lai."

"Keelah se'lai," Tali returned softly, ending the communication. She looked up and met Shepard's eyes, her voice saddened. "I am so sorry for what happened, Shepard. If I had been here…"

Shepard reached out to the girl and Tali entwined herself into Shepard's arms. "If you had been here, you would have been taken, too," Shepard whispered.

Tali pulled away, letting out a huff of annoyance. "Well, I am feeling much better now. I'm ready to take on those Collectors whenever you are, Shepard."

Shepard nodded, turning her attention to where Joker sat. "Joker… Let's hit that Relay."

…

Shepard knew something was broken – maybe multiple somethings. It had gotten hard to breathe; her shoulder was completely numb and she was pretty sure the warm tickling feeling on her temple was blood from a gash on her forehead.

_Goddamn Collectors… _she thought listlessly. _Goddamn Human Larvae. Goddamn everything in this Godforsaken place…_

"Shepard! Shit, Shepard, say something!"

Shepard opened her eyes despite how heavy they felt. She saw a pair of crystalline blue eyes watching her with something like fear. It took her a few moments to realize that this must be Garrus and she must be very frightful looking if he sounded that concerned.

"Shep? Can you hear me?"

Kasumi hovered above her; her hood was gone, shredded pieces of fabric hanging around a cherubic face and layered black hair. Her brown eyes glittered in concern.

"G-arrus?" Shepard breathed, wincing at the stabbing pain in her abdomen. "I… I think I broke something," she wheezed.

"Shep, we have to get out now," Kasumi groaned, her eyes showing panic. "This place is about to blow sky high."

Garrus reached down, moving some debris off of Shepard. "I'm going to have to pick you up, Shepard," he murmured, sounding apologetic. "Joker's on his way. We have to go."

Shepard sucked in a deep breath. Garrus reached down and picked her up gingerly, but the movement made a pain like none Shepard had ever felt before sweep through her entire body. Her bones screamed in agony as she let out a keening cry.

"I'm so sorry, Shepard," Garrus apologized. "I'm sorry." And then he began running.

Shepard nearly passed out at every wave of nausea and pain that swept over her body. All she heard was Garrus' pleas for her to stay awake and Kasumi's gun as she covered their frantic escape.

Shepard felt her throat seal up as her breath came to a stuttering stop. The pain became unbearable. If there was enough air in her lungs, she would have screamed. As it was, her eyes drifted closed and her body became limp in Garrus' arms.

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Author's Note:

::-O That is a super-shocked Batarian.

Leave me some love in the reviews!

xoxox

E.


	17. Light Up My Room

**Chapter 17**

**Light Up My Room**

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_Song Credit: "Light Up My Room," by Barenaked Ladies_

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Weightless.

There was a pleasant feeling in the emptiness of her mind. Something that told her that she was happy and everything was exactly as it should be. It was warm, fuzzy, and there was no need to panic.

But something nagged at the back of her consciousness. There was a noise, something very familiar and yet oddly frightening. Something was keening in the background, vying for her attention. But the empty whiteness that surrounded her tried to keep her safe from the strange, dark things that tried intruding.

Flashes of color illuminated the whiteness. Shepard heard sudden shouts in absolute clarity – Garrus' subharmonics flanged heavy as he pleaded with her, saying her name over and over. Her first name sounded so sweet coming from him. She had never heard him say it before.

The sound of gunfire flickered in and out of her mind. Kasumi's voice, yelling that they were going to get caught in the shockwave…The sound of crashing metal and explosions sent her heart into a frantic drum solo, making her chest ache. It was so cold… there was so much pain, so much noise…

The whiteness beckoned to her, promising warmth and silence. Offering her peace. She felt herself drifting toward the white, her body relaxing into the rhythm of stillness.

"Please… don't do this to me."

The words made her stop. She could see Garrus now, flickering in and out of view above her. His words were constricted, his voice tight.

_Garrus_, she whispered, feeling her entire being shuddering with the effort it took.

His eyes widened and focused, the icy blue orbs frantically scanning over her. "Shepard? Shepard, stay with me! You can't die – not again. Shepard, please not again!"

The floor she was lying on rocked violently, as if a sudden impact had crashed into the side of the Normandy. Hot, agonizing pain rolled through Shepard's body and the cool, blessed darkness swam over her vision.

…

The amount of money it took to rebuild Shepard's lower spinal column, as well as correct her shattered pelvis, turned out to be significant. Garrus had broken down and called his father and was in the middle of pleading for extra credits when Kasumi arrived. She was wordless as she transferred the desired amount of credits into the Huerta terminal. Garrus watched the young human with open-mouthed amazement.

Kasumi had turned to him, her unhooded face seeming very young and very vulnerable. She offered him a sad smile, blew him a kiss, and left the hospital without a word. Garrus disconnected from the call with his father, found an empty patient room, and broke into tearless sobs of relief.

Reconstruction began immediately. The new implants along Shepard's spine had melded well with the bone there. When Miranda and the lead surgeon at Huerta began working on her pelvis, however, complications arose.

Miranda came directly to Garrus, her mouth tugged into a worried line. "Garrus, we need to discuss something."

Garrus nodded, wringing his hands in anxiety. "How is she?"

"She'll be fine," Miranda reassured him, although the unease in her voice did not leave. "Garrus, did Shepard ever mention… wanting to have children?"

Garrus felt panic gripping him. "Miranda, we weren't exactly thinking about having…kids… at this point. I don't know…I just…"

Miranda held up her hand, silencing him. "We were able to replace her shattered lumbar vertebrae with implants. Her pelvis…" Miranda paused, looking as though she was worried how to best phrase her concerns. "The pelvis shattered and quite a few fragments of bone began to tear at her reproductive organs. The surgeon suggests a full hysterectomy… removal," she added for clarification.

Garrus felt the fear inside of him explode. "You… you want me to make the call?"

Miranda nodded, looking sympathetic. "I know this is difficult, Garrus. We want you to give us the go-ahead."

Garrus took a deep, shuddering breath. "What if you don't remove them?"

Miranda shrugged. "More than likely she would develop an infection in her organs, resulting in anything from sepsis to cell necrosis." At Garrus' blank look, Miranda sighed. "Anything from blood poisoning to cell degeneration leading to cell death and internal rotting."

"You would have to remove them later anyway?" Garrus clarified.

"More than likely, yes."

Garrus looked down at the clean hospital tile, wishing it would swallow him whole. "Do what you have to for her to be safe," Garrus murmured finally. "Just… I want her to be okay."

Miranda reached out, patting his shoulder. "She'll be okay, Garrus."

…

The first week had been the worst. Garrus had been forced to watch from afar while Shepard went through physical therapy and hours of painful adjustments to the new implants. Miranda had said that Shepard still had open wounds from the surgery and it was better to keep her in a sterile environment and away from others.

And so Garrus watched from the windows as Shepard did pushups and rolled around on a massive ball to regain detailed motor movement along her spine.

The seven days had felt like seven years. But finally the day came when her wounds had been healed enough from medigel that she was allowed to leave the hospital.

When the doors to her room opened, she stood there in a pair of borrowed sweat pants and a too-large tee shirt. Her hair had been tossed into a ponytail and her face was free of makeup. She looked like a refugee child, still covered in bruises from her ordeal on the Collector base.

And even so, she was the most beautiful sight Garrus had ever seen.

She smiled at him, the expression so bright and full of life. Garrus couldn't help the choked sound that came from his throat as he threw himself toward her, taking her into his arms and holding her close. Her usual vanilla scent had been replaced with the medicinal funk of medigel, and her body felt a bit bonier than usual, but it was still Shepard. His Shepard.

"You'd better be here to break me out of this prison," Shepard whispered, her voice full mirth.

Garrus chuckled, feeling his heart exploding with love. "You know it. Where to, Commander?"

Shepard hummed appreciatively, tapping a finger to her chin. "Well… I did hear Palaven is unseasonably warm this time of year."

"Palaven it is," Garrus chuckled, looping his arm around the small of her back. "At least on Palaven I can keep an eye on you easily. All I have to do is look for the only short, strangely colored fleshy thing."

Shepard raised an eyebrow but her lips were still tilted into a gorgeous smile. "You'd better watch it if you want this strangely colored fleshy thing to get into a bikini ever again."

Garrus chuckled, pulling her close and kissing the top of her head. Shepard was back, the Collectors were gone, and everything was back in order… at least for a time.

_**Fin.**_

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Author's Note:

Aaaand that's a wrap!

So, how soon did you all want to see that Palaven fic? Should I, like, work on getting a chapter out ASAP, or make you wait for a few weeks? ;;) - That is a trickster Batarian.

Leave me some love love for the next story in the comments!

xoxox

E.


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